I thought he was our friend

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I have an update:

So, another friend I both agreed we both have lost our trust with him, and if he came crying back, that he would have to earn our trust. Therefore, I will start working on setting boundaries with people and keep my guard up more often. We both decided that it was a good idea to cross him off our list altogether.
That includes
1. Deleting him from social media
2. Deleting him from all our contacts
3. Leave him alone - period
4. Get involved in other clubs and other things of our own
5. Take care of our bodies

In the meantime, I emailed him, but I didn't really call him out. Instead, I told him I was sad and had felt that he traded us in for people who are better. I also said that I recognized that people drift apart it can be healthy while encouraging him to keep those friends while saying "All the best." Though he didn't acknowledge the letter to call me to let me know why I am ok.

Thank you, as sad as I was last week. We have been drifting apart from him for the last 4 years and it only started after he joined that church and especially when he started finding women to date.

This one time, he and I discussed that some friends could go up to his complex and spend the day up there but I never heard. When no one wanted to drive up there, I confirmed that we could not make it. It was "That's okay, I have a date anyway."

I have also known him has also he has also to drop all his friends when he meets a girlfriend and then focus on her. He pulled this one other time about 11 years ago where he wanted to meet other people and date his girlfriend. He didn't talk to me for an entire year which was after they broke up. After that, we were friends again for another 10 years.

From an outsider:
Seems your friend is perhaps afraid, when your age 38 is correct and he's the same age, that he's running out of time and happy dating someone right now
Without wanting to pry in any private matter, but any chance he wanted you too much and could not stand it any more (also regarding your 31/5 post)?

Nope, he is 44. Getting married and starting a family is a top priority of his and I understand that.

Doesn't seem too big an age difference.
question of any psychologist might be what is then your top priority, whether that is friendship, and what makes you believe this 'the most sublime of all affections'

We looked at dating but it never worked out because we didn't have any feelings for each other though other people wanted us to be together. However, he had a controlling side and the bit of a filthy mouth.

Then the circle is round and things got their explanation. It's special to see how many sides there are to one story

I must say that I was a bit triggered by this post, because I know - knew - also 2 people, man and woman, who had such a special friendship. They went ice skating together in the winter, swimming in the summer, even once camping in one tent, and he did not even make a move at her; I talked about it with her later, like, how's that possible (the guy was definitely not gay btw)
I knew from his mother that she was sad that they were not a romantic couple, and from her mother that she was glad they were not
How strange things come and go

well if you already told him he was not such a good friend, how would you expect him to react ?
but on the otherhand . if he really did treat you poorly , as you wrote . then he may just be a good time charlie..... then leave you in a situation . that leaves you in a bad situation . And ignore you or use you as the butt of his sense of humour with others ..Please be cautious ... Sometimes it is best to keep some individuals at arms length ,, just to be safe. Am a person , whose naivete has cost them dearly.