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Feeling lower than ever before.

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Marknis
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13 Jun 2020, 11:46 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I have a lot of regrets that I’ll never be able to make up for. A major one was walking out on Black Sabbath when they came to perform at Dallas for Ozzfest 2005. It wasn’t that I didn’t like their performance but I had school the following day so I felt like I needed to go back home sooner rather than later and I stupidly thought hearing them perform a handful of songs off the Paranoid album was going to be enough. Now that the band is broken up, all chances to make up for that moment are gone forever.

I feel so stupid for walking out. Black Sabbath’s music was better than any of the mainstream rap, country, and radio rock the kids at school liked and it was a rare opportunity to see a legendary band perform.


I saw Sabbath, and OZZY solo with Zakk Wylde. I understand the regret but don't beat yourself up over it. One of my bucket list wishes was to see Red Hot Chili Peppers live, ideally in California. I had tickets and sold them because my friend backed out. I could have gone with someone else but I decided to sell at a huge profit. I regretted that for a really long time because I'm sure I won't get the opportunity again, but what can you do.

I love OZZY and I worry about his health. Maybe we can post some music. :heart:

By the way Zakk Wylde was insane and could play with the guitar behind his back. :skull:


I did see Zakk’s band, Black Label Society, at the same show. Zakk is indeed talented but in interviews with him, he came off like a jerk. I haven’t listened to any of BLS’s music since Shot to Hell.

I wish I saw Type O Negative live but I never will since Peter Steele died. I had a chance to see Soundgarden when they reformed but with Chris Cornell gone now, it’s impossible. I also never got to see Gwar when Oderus Urungus was still alive despite how they came to Austin a lot. I was always anxious to drive down there by myself and I kick myself for not doing it sooner. I’ve missed a lot of bands because of the anxiety I suffer from. It’s been a millstone around my neck.



Marknis
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14 Jun 2020, 8:52 pm

I feel like depression is slowly killing me.



CockneyRebel
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15 Jun 2020, 4:45 am

Sweet Pea hugs


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Marknis
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18 Jun 2020, 1:12 pm

Will I ever get better? I want to stop suffering and have peace in my life before I die.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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18 Jun 2020, 1:51 pm

Marknis wrote:
Will I ever get better? I want to stop suffering and have peace in my life before I die.



I understand! theirs no time frame for these things.I wish you well and a good recovery and happiness



Marknis
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19 Jun 2020, 9:24 pm

My moods are fluctuating now. I will feel unbearably miserable one moment and calm the next.



Marknis
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22 Jun 2020, 12:21 am

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again.



Marknis
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22 Jun 2020, 1:20 pm

I cried when I talked to my therapist today.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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22 Jun 2020, 1:28 pm

Marknis wrote:
I cried when I talked to my therapist today.



Better out than in! sometimes we feel worse before we get better. I'm sorry to hear this



kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2020, 1:36 pm

Sometimes, it’s a good sign when you are able to cry.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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23 Jun 2020, 1:15 pm

Marknis wrote:
My moods are fluctuating now. I will feel unbearably miserable one moment and calm the next.



Hope you're feeling better today



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23 Jun 2020, 5:14 pm

Marknis wrote:
I cried when I talked to my therapist today.


It's a normal response to processing and considering hurtful experiences. On the bright side, I assume that means you trust your therapist enough to open up like whatever it was that caused this to happen.


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Marknis
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23 Jun 2020, 9:34 pm

The tears feel like a lot of pressure is being unclogged from my body. I don’t want to suffer anymore.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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23 Jun 2020, 9:47 pm

Marknis wrote:
The tears feel like a lot of pressure is being unclogged from my body. I don’t want to suffer anymore.


Then purge it out. Maybe you had alot of things on your subconscious that's starting to shift.



Marknis
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25 Jun 2020, 5:29 pm

sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The tears feel like a lot of pressure is being unclogged from my body. I don’t want to suffer anymore.


Then purge it out. Maybe you had alot of things on your subconscious that's starting to shift.


I do. A lot of things have been resurfacing in my mind.

I want the pain to stop. This isn’t how life should feel.



funeralxempire
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25 Jun 2020, 5:34 pm

Marknis wrote:
sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The tears feel like a lot of pressure is being unclogged from my body. I don’t want to suffer anymore.


Then purge it out. Maybe you had alot of things on your subconscious that's starting to shift.


I do. A lot of things have been resurfacing in my mind.

I want the pain to stop. This isn’t how life should feel.


On the bright side, if you use the bolded part as your chorus you're already part way to having another song written. :mrgreen:


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.