Coping with death in general,

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Be it a loved one , or a pet , How does one cope , after being over exposed to it and not able to process through
The nightmare that are those memories . Pets get old and die , or get euthanized , Parents die , family passes on
Untimely death of one spouse at hands of another . This seems to have caused a numbness , I see NTs , consider death as a matter of fact in life .. Like it just happens . I recall every time I have been exposed to death .
Just do not understand how people think of death as a matter of fact.

Distraction and humour.
"Laughter is the best medicine."

It is the final outcome of all life.

I feel overexposed. From my view, I think there are two ways to cope. To find some way to rationalize it/make it mean something and thus make peace with it, and if that can't be done then to avoid thinking about it. I've found its easier to make peace with the death of other humans than it is with family pets/wild animals, but that will probably change when I eventually lose someone very close to me if I outlive them. Had two grandparents die and a former high school classmate committed suicide a month after graduation. The latter's death bothered me the most, I wasn't emotionally close to my grandparents and now I just feel annoyed and robbed that I never really got to know them. The deaths that bother me the most are those of wild animals. I won't be sharing any details on that. I do my best not to think about them.

I've always found certain forms of music to be therapeutic in a broader sense to help me regulate and express my emotions.

I know it hits me hard. When I mentioned 43 funerals, it was actually higher then that but I did not go to some. My first boss died and I could not cope with going to his funeral. His was the 44th.
Also during that time we had a few pets die as well, and two died in pain as we had no money to call a vet in which made my Mother so upset that she refuses to have another pet, but fortunately stray cats turned up (A Mum cat turned up and one by one carried her kittens from somewhere distant and settled into our barn and then someone we know turned up without warning and dropped off some ducks).


I say I am numb to funerals. It is numbness. I could not cry. I felt dissconnected to even my own feelings. It was like my body was in a permanent state of shock and I was going through the motions like an autopilot...
And I was a bearer for some as there was no one else to make up enough people to do it. (I was scared incase I had a shutdown and ended up in one of the graves!)

Thank you all very much for your responses. ! Am fearing numbness as well as actual death .
Not able really understand death and society . And yes have heard one door closes another one opens .
But that never quite settled in with me .

{{{{ Jakki }}}} ... death has altered your life in massive ways ... the loss of your husband ... I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Truly wish you peace.

Death has had a massive impact on my life, having lost my mother just prior to starting school. I didn’t fully process or deal with the loss until I was in my 30s when it truly hit me. The aftermath on top of the loss can be so traumatic as we’re having to deal with new situations and trauma thrown at us, that we can’t truly deal or process the loss and grieve properly for years. By not being able to deal with it, then and there, tends to mean it affects our behaviour and thoughts, until we finally do.

Loss and grieving being what they are, very personal things, that affect us all differently, the only thing that can be assured, is that if we don’t eventually fully face and get it out, it has an impact on our health and well-being, and on our relationships with others. I studied Loss & Grieving at University level, learning about the rollercoaster process, the range of emotions that need to be worked through over what can take years, before coming out the other side, ready to properly face life positively again. But, as I learned all that, I hadn’t even begun to face what loss actually took from me personally, and all the repercussions ...

I hope you find peace, but I think it’s particularly difficult when you lose someone who you wish you could have saved from this terrible crime. Sliding doors ..... Wishing you love, peace and comfort. X