"Meltdown"

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I will try to shed some light on this sensitive topic from a third-party's perspective...First of all, WE MUST BE CAREFUL WITH WORDS, because they have CONNOTATIONS or hidden meanings...Allow me to share with you all a fun example: In mainstream media, BEAUTIFUL really means tall and blond; CUTE really means pretty and short; GORGEOUS really means pretty and old, SEXY really means pretty and easy...and the list goes on and on...Because of these hidden and sometimes NEGATIVE connotations associated with a word, one must be very careful NOT to use TANTRUM and MELTDOWN interchangeably, especially when discussing AUTISM...It's like stating that CHILDISH and CHILDLIKE are synonymous...Far from the truth (Please look-up in dictionary)...Having said all of the above, please allow me to clarify the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown...A tantrum is typically associated with a toddler's immature behavior, understandably so as they have yet to learn to express their discontent in a proper, civil manner...A tantrum, however, is not exclusive to children...I once witnessed a teenager at a middle school who threw a fit at the discipline office, because she was referred there for a dress-code violation...Suffice to say, she got her way by calling her attorney-father who threatened to suit the school district...This, to me, is an example of a tantrum wherein the ILL-INTENT in the form of MANIPULATION is clear...And although i have NOT witnessed an adult's tantrum, i suspect that most cases of road-rage, especially those involving the use of a firearm, are adult-tantrums, definitely INTENTIONAL...Contrary to a MELTDOWN which is NOT DELIBERATE...How do i know this with certainty?...Sadly, i have witnessed my beloved (Aspie) husband's meltdowns...In a period of abrupt changes, frequent misunderstandings leading to conflict, and an uncertain future, my poor husband experienced a series of meltdowns to the breaking point...At one time, his body trembled uncontrollably...At other time, he was unable to open his eye lids...At other time, he space-out and forcefully collapsed to the ground, apparently losing concieousness, similar to a seizure...Above, i specified, "to the breaking-point", because he experienced an episode of psychosis, wherein he apparently lost touch with reality for what i estimate to have been 4 hours...I am beyond happy to report to you all here that it has been close to two years without any such incidents...Marriage has been very beneficial health-wise for him...If you have read this far, thank you...You are now better able to appreciate the clear difference between a tantrum and a meltdown...A MELTDOWN IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE CONTROLLED AND THEREFORE THERE IS NO ILL-INTENT, NO FORM OF MANIPULATION...And last but not least, any human being can experience a breakdown at a certain point in their life due to extreme emotional distress...I suppose--and i do not know for sure, because i did not go to medical school--breakdowns differ in that these last much longer...To the extent that the patient may end-up in a psychiatric clinic for months or years...I sincerely hope that i have contributed to this sensitive topic in a non-biased and meaningful way...Forever in love with my beloved husband who just happens to be the most handsome Aspie...

Clueless2017, so glad you're still around!

Sometimes toddlers carry on crying even after they have got what they wanted. When I was a teenager and my (NT) cousin was 3 I was in the supermarket with him and my aunt, and he kept being naughty so his mum said "right, you're not having any candy!" He threw himself on the floor and cried. In the end his mum did buy him some candy, but it didn't stop his crying. It seemed that he got himself into that bad-tempered sort of mood even though he had got what he was crying for in the first place. His mum even said, "you've got your candy, so what do you want?" But he wouldn't say, he just kept whining and crying at nothing.
It's what we call "the terrible two's", which can typically occur around 1-4 years old. Some children grow out of it by age 4 but others don't until they reach 5 or 6. It's not so normal for a child over 7 to still be in the terrible two's phase, but children with developmental disorders such as autism, ADHD, learning difficulties or Fragile-X can still be in the terrible two's phase (I'm not talking about autism meltdowns, just general tantrumish behaviour). Or children that aren't brought up properly or are suffering a physical illness like cancer. But that's different.

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Have a blessed Sunday you all...Greetings from California, where the sun spends the winter...

Thanks for this.

I think it's potentially (ironically) something only an NT with experience around autistic people they love and understand deeply (like you), NTs who are very sensitive or hyperlexic aspies like me would care about.

Yes, it really does matter. I was really angry beyond comprehension when I saw that Autism Speaks had replaced the word Meltdown and started using tantrum instead. Just another thing to add to the list of why I hate them. The damage that does to us is really massive.

So Autism Speaks is basically acting like any time you have a stress response to any kind of stress, it's the same as acting out and trying to get your way?! Outrageous!

Yeah It is immensely painful and it is very hard to explain when you don't know what words to use whilst trying to be polite as possible to lessen the domino effect, my usual is going to self harm rather than a huge outburst verbally as i'm fearful of being arrested by police from my actions as others don't understand what one goes through during a complete meltdown though they can't be expected to know so self harm is a safer option. I am pretty good at knowing when one is coming if it's from doing too much or from a build up but sometimes I get caught off guard ( i refer to it as caught sleeping ) like few weeks back offloading at the psychologist and didn't for see the effect emotionally this would have on me, then got drunk and a meltdown came. knifed myself in the head and abused people which drinking is why i abused people. i would have still self harmed

Yes, it really does matter. I was really angry beyond comprehension when I saw that Autism Speaks had replaced the word Meltdown and started using tantrum instead. Just another thing to add to the list of why I hate them. The damage that does to us is really massive.

So Autism Speaks is basically acting like any time you have a stress response to any kind of stress, it's the same as acting out and trying to get your way?! Outrageous!

Another reason for me to hate Autism Speaks to pieces. I never liked that organization. Now, autism parents who worship Autism Speaks are going to start smacking their autistic children around and shouting at them. for having meltdowns.

I will try to shed some light on this sensitive topic from a third-party's perspective...First of all, WE MUST BE CAREFUL WITH WORDS, because they have CONNOTATIONS or hidden meanings...Allow me to share with you all a fun example: In mainstream media, BEAUTIFUL really means tall and blond; CUTE really means pretty and short; GORGEOUS really means pretty and old, SEXY really means pretty and easy...and the list goes on and on...Because of these hidden and sometimes NEGATIVE connotations associated with a word, one must be very careful NOT to use TANTRUM and MELTDOWN interchangeably, especially when discussing AUTISM...It's like stating that CHILDISH and CHILDLIKE are synonymous...Far from the truth (Please look-up in dictionary)...

Having said all of the above, please allow me to clarify the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown...A tantrum is typically associated with a toddler's immature behavior, understandably so as they have yet to learn to express their discontent in a proper, civil manner...A tantrum, however, is not exclusive to children...I once witnessed a teenager at a middle school who threw a fit at the discipline office, because she was referred there for a dress-code violation...Suffice to say, she got her way by calling her attorney-father who threatened to suit the school district...This, to me, is an example of a tantrum wherein the ILL-INTENT in the form of MANIPULATION is clear...And although i have NOT witnessed an adult's tantrum, i suspect that most cases of road-rage, especially those involving the use of a firearm, are adult-tantrums, definitely INTENTIONAL...Contrary to a MELTDOWN which is NOT DELIBERATE...How do i know this with certainty?...

Sadly, i have witnessed my beloved (Aspie) husband's meltdowns...In a period of abrupt changes, frequent misunderstandings leading to conflict, and an uncertain future, my poor husband experienced a series of meltdowns to the breaking point...At one time, his body trembled uncontrollably...At other time, he was unable to open his eye lids...At other time, he space-out and forcefully collapsed to the ground, apparently losing concieousness, similar to a seizure...Above, i specified, "to the breaking-point", because he experienced an episode of psychosis, wherein he apparently lost touch with reality for what i estimate to have been 4 hours...I am beyond happy to report to you all here that it has been close to two years without any such incidents...Marriage has been very beneficial health-wise for him...If you have read this far, thank you...

You are now better able to appreciate the clear difference between a tantrum and a meltdown...A MELTDOWN IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE CONTROLLED AND THEREFORE THERE IS NO ILL-INTENT, NO FORM OF MANIPULATION...And last but not least, any human being can experience a breakdown at a certain point in their life due to extreme emotional distress...I suppose--and i do not know for sure, because i did not go to medical school--breakdowns differ in that these last much longer...To the extent that the patient may end-up in a psychiatric clinic for months or years...I sincerely hope that i have contributed to this sensitive topic in a non-biased and meaningful way...Forever in love with my beloved husband who just happens to be the most handsome Aspie...