Why I hate them [Serious]

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Apparently it's a 'funny joke' that I hate the old women who bullied me at work because they are old.

This is nonsense.

I don't hate my granddad or my stepdad. They're the same age as the women who made my life hell & encouraged me to have a breakdown. I love them and I respect them.

What I hate is they fact they were proudly stupid, proudly xenophobic, proudly homophobic, racists, didn't care for their grandchildren and every single time I tried to say something it was 'wrong' somehow. They hated me for being autistic.

I hate rumours being spread about me. It isn't funny. Esp to do with my breakdown.

When mum was in hospital with a broken back, they said it was a waste of NHS resources. When I was having a breakdown & trying to find ways to cure myself mentally, they said it was laziness and I needed to push myself even harder. They said rivers ran red with blood because ethnic minorities live in this country. It's a minor point but every time they spoke about their own families, it was all about how 'the kids need a good slap' and 'I've done my bit raising my own, I don't get why I have to read their brats a bedtime story'* . Another minor point but whenever I tried to interject intelligent conversation (about books. In a library) they would say 'but what do you do for fun' - so I tried thinking of the most fun thing I could think of in terms of stupid trivial stuff which was actually true (at the time I liked celebrity bios) & then they said 'I'm surprised that's your thing' - I couldn't get anything right. They would whisper about customers right in front of them and when I told them that was rude (weird that the autistic person has to do that) they said 'oh it doesn't matter, they're just...' like the feelings of the customer didn't matter.

Maybe I shouldn't call them 'the old ladies'. But a 50 year gap is pretty big. And they were forever talking to me like I was a child even though I was 22-24. Even the 70 yo spoke to the 60 yo like a child, forever calling her 'dear' and saying 'when I was your age'. I tried to be friends with them and they said 'I don't like children who act like that' when I was casual outside of work: I was an adult with two degrees, not a kid. ** They sent me to coventry after one of them accused me of using the c word, at the time I didn't swear much and hated misogynist words but I'd said the word 'crap' - any adult knows that 'crap' isn't the c word - it's a maybe swear word maybe not swear word which is nothing like c**t in its baggage.

I absolutely hate it when untruths are spread about me. It stirs things up between me and other people. It makes me look bad. And for what? Fun? It isn't funny. Funny jokes are funny to the target. I was on another site & the Huns on that site made me into this kind of demon figure, capturing anything I could say which could be twisted & making out like I was evil. Everyone ended up hating me. It makes me feel really intimidated & scared & like I have to walk on eggshells. That was done because it was 'funny'.

I'm so scared of everyone who's older than me hating me just because I hate these 6 or so older women. If you're more like my granddad then they are - I promise you I don't hate you. One of my friends on here in the friends list is about 40 years older than me, he's a lovely guy. I'm scared to lose him.

* My granddad and grandma raised me when mum was in hospital possibly dying so I take grandparents' role in children's lives seriously & I highly respect grandparents who take up this duty. Even when mum was better, my grandparents were close to me til my grandma's dying day and my granddad is still close to me now. I come from a very close knit family and find it hard to understand people who resent their own relatives.

** I look like a kid. People treat me like a kid. Worst thing for me is being treated like a kid by people who actually know my age. Yes, even at 22-24. I should've been treated like an educated person in their early-mid 20s. The only one of them who was actually qualified.

Obviously 0 responses.

He is basically going to turn everyone on this site who is over 60 against me.

No point in me coming on here anymore then.

Well done. Another site bites the dust.

Not everyone reads every new topic.

Until you added this second post I had no idea this was about a WP dispute rather than a real-world one.

If you think someone is being mean, request help from the Mods.

It's real world stuff that I carry with me as baggage.

When I do the autistic thing of being blunt, I get called a bigot.

Well, the reason I didn't read your post is because I am dyslexic and I find it draining to read long posts.
I would rather you stay.
But with shorter posts.

BTW, who is "he"?

Same here except I did read this one and I'm not really active enough to have an opinion on if someone should stay or not.

It seems to me that if those women can't even manage to like their own grandkids the problem must be with them! As for the problem on the site, I don't think I've read any of it but I hope you're OK.

When I do anything that seems even remotely characteristic of a person with an ASD, I get called all kinds of names.  Sadly, it is part of life -- people in general are more alert to our differences than our similarities, and they will exploit these differences for their own amusement; and it is not just the NTs who do that, but several members of this website do it, as well.  While I do not hate them, I do try to avoid or ignore them whenever possible.  The sad part is that either they do not seem to realize that their behavior is offensive, or they enjoy offending others "for fun".

Can you transfer to another work area?  Can you wear headphones or earbuds to work?  Is there anything you can do to block them out or distance yourself from them?  I hope you can work this out.

Are you in a large enough company that you have a Human Resources Department?
If so, go online and read up on what is/is not allowed, and what you can do about it.
Going online researching employees ‘ rights is not such a good idea, because you must lodge any complaints with your own HR Department.
So just focus on your own company’s rules.

It was 5 years ago.

I had a breakdown so bad I couldn't get out of bed or talk to anyone but mum.

It haunts me now.

I quit the job.

But it wasn't a proper job. I have had one proper job in my adult life - a zero hours minimum wage one where they were doing dodgy stuff & ended up sacking me.

Every time I complained it was seen as a sign I had to improve my people skills. The supervisor said 'average' then told me he was being polite. No job is going to take anyone where people skills isn't marked as 'good'.

No I wasn't.

It was run by a Parish council which was only a couple of people.

And it was the normal culture of the village. They weren't saying anything which would be seen as unusual in the village - except the grandkid thing which is honestly just trivial and sad to me.

There was an entire culture of being homophobic, racist and not minding your own business.

I worked for the Parish council in a paid job there but it was a scam. That was basically autism friendly except the sacking part of it because it was data input and typing.

The site thing's been sorted via DMs

He is a nice guy, it's just a banter thing which - banter doesn't always work well for ppl with SAD. He knows that now.

I don't hate these old ladies for being old, I hate them for being bigots and mean to everyone and making me ill.

Hello KT67

It sounds like you have had a tough time. I would say from what you have written that you are right to feel the way you do about the people whom you worked with. They sound like jerks.

I am afraid in life you will encounter a lot of jerks, especially in work.
I have also had similar experiences in loads of the jobs I have had over the past 30 years (since i was 17).

A great deal of the jerk's behaviour is what is classified as bullying in the work place, which is now against the law.
However in order for the law to protect you, there is usually small print, which often excludes those who are most prone to being bullied. Ho hum.

I would say that you would benefit in speaking with a councilor about your experiences.
You are also welcome to explain here.

One thing I noticed however about some of your posts (which i am not having a go at you about)
is that you have a tendency to veer towards catastrophizing when facing difficult circumstances.

For example. in your above post you mention how the woman who you don't like who bullied you at work
are older than you and then on your latter post, you kind of start to catastrophizing that the friend on this forum
who also is older than you will automatically be offended and then get everyone to be horrible to you.

I don't think that is going to happen.
I think that many of the regular members of this forum and kind nature'ed and not looking to bully others (I include you in this list too!).

This, at the mo at least, is like a sanctuary from people who are picking on people. So I hope you continue to stay and hang out, do what you feel. As I am sure your input is appreciated by all.

We all are pretty much in a similar position in life, all kind of being people who have got the bad end of the stick in life.
So, we are in some ways kinsmen, as we all come from the same clan. the ASD clan of brothers and sisters.

If the catastrophizing gets out of hand, perhaps consider going to the doc.
As some meds are better than others with regards to these symptoms.
I also suffer from GAD and have been on various meds over the years

however, many of them made me ill, perhaps worse than when not on meds.
However, last year I had a break through after getting a doctor to prescribe me an old antidepressant
clomipromine, which is a tricyclic (not a type of bicycle with 3 wheels apparently)...

and it has worked wonders. I believe it is good for GAD as it is slightly sedating,
so your mind gets slowed down a bit.

Although apparently low doses are best recommended with people with ASD
as we generally are more sensitive to meds than normals.

Hope that helps. hope i have not hurt you with my observation.
no mean to hurt, try to help.

Yeah, what I did was stupid.

He said 'KT67 hates older people'.

I wanted to clarify...

Cos I'm pedantic.

I hate some older people.

But not for being old.

When people make comments like that about me, I worry people will believe it. I thought I would lose everyone who considers themselves old/older on the site as friends. And since I don't have my age - 32 - down, that might ironically include people who are younger than me and just consider me to be younger.

I know now that that isn't the case. My older friends know I like them.

I don't have GAD but I do have SAD & that affects me when it comes to how people perceive me.

Nonsense or not, give me $US500 and I will make her go away. [joke]

KT67 and I have made up, btw.

I just don't work anymore.

And I do have a tendency to catrastrophise/fear patterns recurring.

But the reason I was scared Pepe might make me into an enemy is because another person did that on another site.

An NT on a football site.

It's why I don't go on mixed football sites anymore.

He made it so I went from having friends to having nobody because he twisted my words to make out that I didn't like people or that I was a bad person. [Not Pepe, the NT]