I made a friend in the beginning of 2019 and it felt different. They actually put effort into me and I felt seen by them. We had conversations easily, and really enjoyed our time spent together. We had similar views on gender and social interaction and some overlapping interests. They had no family, and craved close friendship in a similar way that I do. I could tell they paid attention to me because when they sent gifts in the mail, they were relevant to things I actually like/would like. No one has ever done that.
They became gradually distant over 2020 and very irritable. They had invited me months in advance to spend some holidays with them. But as the dates drew near, they cancelled. They told me I make them tired. I have heard this before. Even when people don't say it, they make me feel it with their disinterest. The difference with this friend was I could actually feel their love before 2020. Most people I don't. It's just not there.
People always leave and it breaks my heart. They finally told me this year that they don't want to be friends anymore. There wasn't really a reason. I hadn't known the last time I saw them would be the last time.
I miss them so badly. I am hurt that they obviously don't feel the same way. I am very, very hurt. I love them.
09 Apr 2021, 9:37 am
