I cant take being crippled; I miss being in my prime

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I cant take being a useless cripple after years of injuries and other garbage setbacks messed my life up, messing my brain up and reducing me to a stupider, weaker, more ret*d and physically and mentally slower version of myself. I cant take it.

Today when I was helping my uncle out in my store some racist redneck trash began to come in hurling slurs and insults at us and getting aggressive. After telling him 3 times to leave and he refused to comply and got hostile, I was about to call the cops. The little turd shoved my uncle and in a rage I sprung at him and tried to strike him. the rest of the story became blurry from that point, but all I remember was minutes later I was on the floor knocked out, humiliated and spurned by such a contemptible trash it felt like I was worthless.

I cant take being reminded of how much I've degraded, lost myself and am but a crippled shell of my former self. 6 years ago in the prime of my strength and ability dropping guys like that wouldn't have been an issue at all; even though im not by any means a big guy when I was in the prime of my life physically, mentally and reflex wise dropping a loser like that be like swatting a fly. I remember in my prime fighting much bigger, stronger and even more trained people, so to get taken out like that so easily felt like a massive downgrade.

Whats worse is that the guy who knocked me out was and is racist trash. To think a guy who deserved to get his butt whipped and smacked got to stand tall and laugh over me when had he fought me 5 years earlier I would have bodied and dropped him, it just feels such a perverse violation of justice. I hate living in this country where because most racists and evil white supremacists are normally physically more muscular and taller than the minorities they harass they dont learn a lesson and rarely get beaten up like they deserve. Watching so many of these videos of white supremacists harassing minorities made me burned up with rage that if I ever got the chance whenever id confront one of these turds id teach them a lesson and show them whose in charge. I had such a chance delivered to me on a silver platter, and because my body wasn't as strong as it used to be in its prime I got dropped and squashed.

the cops were eventually called on the guy, but it makes me so mad that I got knocked out so easily given how strong I used to be before my injuries

You have to avoid situations where you get knocked out cold. When you have already had some concussions, every future one is more and more serious.