This is why you don't base your entire self worth on girls!!

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Another cousin of mine just commit suicide today. This is the 2nd cousin btw so far since my other cousin commit suicide 2 years ago. The cousin who commit suicide was desperate to find a girl, so desperate that he based his entire self worth on it. Mind you this guy literally has genetics that make me jealous, as in he's 6 ft 2, has an IQ of 145, double majored in Biomechanical Engineering and Mathematics, and is talented in piano, cooking, clothing design, as well as other pursuits. Yet due to having Aspergers he struggled with social interaction and couldn't find a girl.

Everyone told him to be grateful and focus on the amazing blessings he did have, as I did since I myself envied his genetics and wish I was half as talented as him, but because he wasn't able to overcome society's standard that men are nothing without women he kept internalizing this idiotic notion that he's worthless and incomplete without a women. He let it consume him and it became his main focus, even as every guy envied him for all of his otherwise exorbitant talents and blessings and wished they were him.

My cousin met a girl at the library he really liked. He was obsessed with her and wanted her to be his partner. the girl didn't find like him so she ignored him. After trying so many times to flirt with her, get her number and ask her out, she declined politely every time. One day she lost her patience and told him sternly that she doesn't want to be with him and to respect her boundaries.

My cousin couldn't accept that and that led him down a path of depression, anxiety and low self worth until he took his life today. If im in a bad mood for the rest of this week or even month its because not only is this the 2nd cousin of mine whose taken his own life, not only is this story tragic in all of the ways it was tragic, its because I used to look up to this cousin and thought he would accomplish great things given his talents and superior genetics. All went to waste because he thought he wasn't good enough without a girl.

Now what's left is a broken and grieving family, and many lost and hurt souls that someone so gifted and amazing has left this world.

I feel angry to be honest

Soo sorry to hear that Salad. It is difficult to know what to say.

I know of a few guys that did that too. One guy that lived very close to me killed himself because he was rejected by a girl he really liked. I would have went out with him maybe. I saw his picture, he was attractive. But he never talked to me anyway. I probably wasn’t good enough for him because everyone knew in my neighbourhood I was insane back then. But anyway, what I’m trying to say is, guys like that might have a chance, if they’re just patient. I don’t seem to be able to attract friends or a boyfriend or even a damn roommate. But I’m not going to end it all because of that. The loneliness is painful but I’m getting used to it. He’ll, I’m even starting to enjoy it. From my perspective I feel more pathetic being single than a guy should because guys have this perception that even if a female is ugly or whatever, that it’s somehow easier to get someone, just because we’re female. Well. It ain’t for me.

It's never healthy to base your entire self worth on other people
I'm sorry for your cousin's tragedy I wish he got the right help at the right time.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I honestly think its understandable to be angry. You lost your cousin over a relatively simple issue and that must be hard to cope with. I would be angry if a family member died over something like that, too.

Salad, I'm sorry about your cousin. That must feel like such a blow to you.

Rarely is there a single, simple reason for suicide, though it might seem like it. In the therapy profession, we would call his rejection by a woman he was interested in a "precipitant" or "precipitating event" but we wouldn't call it a cause. If you want my opinion, based on statistics we are hearing about mental health, violence, and suicide during the pandemic, it's probably this long, extended, very profound stressor that overcomes the person's mind and their usual sources of wellbeing, that led to this sad outcome. The rejection was just the "last straw."

Which is a reason we should all remind ourselves to take good care of our mental health. It's wrong to minimize how hard these times have been on all of us.