I realized my mom sees "Autistic" as bad as the R word

Post Reply New Topic

So my mom and I were talking and I mentioned that OCD is no longer an anxiety disorder and they made it its own family category and hoarding disorder falls under it. OCD is its own category now than under an anxiety disorder. My mom then brought up like they did with autism, made it all autism and she expressed how it was a big mistake and how it's a disservice for me. She mentioned she will never call me autistic and expressed why. To her autism is a crippling disease, you can't talk and live on your own, you are dysfunctional and she would never let anyone say I am autistic. She even mentioned she has a hard time saying I have Asperger's as well because they are doctors and lawyers because of this skill they have and they are so brilliant and I am not that.

It's the stigma she hates and how most people think of autism and AS and I realized she views the word Autistic as bad as the R word because she expressed how demeaning that word is and it sets the bar so low on me. She also expressed when they tried to say I was autistic as a small child, it felt like a death sentence to her because they were saying I would be in a group home and in a mental institution. She said it was so horrible for her and traumatizing so I said "well you proved them wrong."

Also put in mind this was the 80's where people thought so low of kids with disabilities and if you as the parent had high goals for them and wanted them to be independent and live like normal adults when they grow up, you were looked at as crazy. My mom dealt with this when I was little. I guess it traumatized her.



I just thought it was interesting how my mom feels about the word and to her it's an ableist term for me and demeaning because of the stigma and what most people think of it and told me she doesn't understand why anyone would want to call themselves autistic. She said she sees me more as anxiety and I mentioned to her is the problem with the word "anxiety" is people expect you to just get over it and with therapy and a pill, you are cured. Anxiety is a broad term and it doesn't mean anything so if you use a narrower label like ADHD or autism, then people understand that it's not just something you get over and they understand why you have anxiety. I also told my mom autism has gotten pretty broad too because you never know how severe their condition is and do they mean severe or what are their limitations so they have 3 levels now, level 1 which is basically Asperger's and level 3 is severe autism but my mom still disagree how they made it all autism now and got rid of AS. I said I guess it is now "My kid has level 1 autism" instead of "oh my kid has Asperger's." But my mom still hates the word and said she prefers autism spectrum, not autistic spectrum or autism.

She basically sees it as bad as the R word.

Your mother has some old-fangled notions about autism.

Back before the 1990s, autism WAS something that was very serious.