How do you help someone like this?

Post Reply New Topic

My boyfriend is so addicted to smoking cigarettes that nothing can make him stop. He just can't face the process of quitting after 30 years of smoking. But he keeps suffering with shortness of breath that is interfering with his life. His doctor is urging him to quit smoking but he just can't. It's too addictive and he's too weak-willed. Quitting smoking is even harder than dieting, and I know how difficult dieting can be.

I keep encouraging him to try e-cigs but he's stubborn about those and thinks they're "more harmful" than cigarettes. But he keeps worrying and complaining about breathing difficulties and he coughs all the time. He knows it's down to smoking but still can't quit.

This is why I hate smoking and I hate the way cigarette companies make cigarettes too addictive to give up, causing illness and deaths from all the weak-willed smokers out there. He's become so dependant on cigarettes that even nicotine patches don't relieve the urge. Personally I think nicotine patches are just a placebo.

I'm so worried he might have a heart attack or something one of these days. I've already lost my mother and I don't think I can cope with losing my partner too. My world will just completely fall apart. I hate Western society where you have to sit back and watch someone you love destroy their body and can't do anything because "they're an adult". People say "you have to want to quit" but what about in a situation where the smoker is suffering health-wise but mentally can't cope with the process of quitting but doesn't want to die? Can you step in and help them then? After all, it'll be saving someone's life, and isn't saving lives the best thing a person can do in Western culture?

He really should give vaping a try. Has he talked to the doctor about trying vaping? Idk maybe they could convince him it's not as harmful.

Has he tried nicotine lozenges or nicotine gum?

My boyfriend uses nicotine lozenges.

Zyban.

I know a lifelong smoker who took it for depression and BAM -- they stopped smoking the first day. They completely lost the urge, and that wasn't even their intention. Twenty years later they've never smoked again and they don't even take Zyban any more.

It might not have that dramatic of an effect on everyone, but I've heard a lot of people share similar success stories.

Nothing is too addictive to give up. He should do it for you without you asking him to for you, as he should know the possible bad outcomes of such an addiction on your emotional health. I would inform him of how it'd affect you emotionally if he's somehow unaware of such a thing. Maybe I'm being too hard here, but I kinda know how this one goes and have the broken home from it (some of it broke me too because of the life my father lived, who is the one with the addiction in this story). I wouldn't do self-destructive behaviors if someone or others relied on, depended on me for emotional and/or physical support. It's not just one side. If people want to mess themselves up, they should do it on their own and not make a mess of others with them. They should give it up when they know the other side is attached and can't let go.

That'll be my opinion and one I won't change when it comes to these things.

To add,

How to help if someone doesn't want to do it themselves and it needs to be done? From my experience, someone has to take control. This is for people with H addictions too.

Unfortunately, with any sort of addiction there's really not much you can do beyond giving the information and letting the person know how much their addiction is affecting you.

Some people will justify anything to keep their addiction. The mind is a powerful thing.

Ultimately the addicted person is the only one who can break their addiction but they have to want to. If they don't really want to, nothing anyone else says or does is going to persuade them. It's hard

I used Champix (varenicline) - it worked amazingly well and best of all, there were no withdrawal symptoms. None. Nada. Zilch.
Aww poo - on re-checking the link I see it's not currently available, in "an abundance of caution" owing to issues with its components.

That's a shame. You'd just continue smoking as usual while taking it and over time (about three weeks with me), the fun or buzz aspect of lighting up just quietly fades away. There's no disgust, no change of taste etc. - you just... lose interest.
One of the side-effects (there are always some ) is vivid dreams. Yes indeed - every dream was huge with a cast of thousands. That was actually quite fun.

I simply told my doctor I was fed up with smoking and asked if they would prescribe it.
It might be worth checking to see if it's become available again?

One can only hope he comes to his senses before its too late. I dunno addiction is really hard. I've always replaced one addiction with another more healthy one.