Why am I so easily emotionally manipulated?

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Exactly right.

OMG ain't that the truth! I've seen and experienced this happening all my life. People think they can be as nasty as they like to us but when we hit back, WE are the bad one.

Well to top it all off I'm feeling emotional because my mum passed away a year ago and it always hits home worse at Christmas.

That job guy sounds really immature.

Can you do cold politeness? I've found that can work. Be polite, but really cold about it. Just give the minimum information and no more.

e.g. if he says 'can you do this piece of work?' reply 'yes.' with the minimum of smiling then look away.

Of course it does! My dad died 40 years ago and I still miss the happy Christmases we had when he was alive.

Why do you deserve bad treatment? You haven't murdered/raped/tortured anyone. Think of your opinion of yourself, not other people's. What have you actually done wrong in life? I can't imagine you've done anything horrendous.

When I used to hate myself, it occurred to me to look on my CV. And what jobs did it say on there? Worked with animals. Taught disabled children. Helped people on a travel advice telephone line. etc. I realised that is not the sort of person who is bad. So I'm not bad.

Find evidence of good things you've done in life.

Yes that's what I'm doing.

He's supposed to be supervisor but he's not experienced at all. He's younger than all of us and only got the job because he went for drinks with the man from management. He hadn't even been here long and had no driver's license (which everyone must have to work here). He doesn't want to take any responsibility but he wants to speak to people how he likes except for his best friend there of course (who is nice and doesn't want to get involved, she chats to me, but I don't want to involve her).

Ohhhh! He's feeling threatened by you and the others! He knows he's younger and doesn't deserve the job. So he's throwing his weight about to keep you under control and appear like he knows what he's doing.

I'm not sure what to advise that you do about that though...

The guy at work, he's upset me yes, but I don't think that gives me the right to go around swearing at him and calling him names. That is not the right approach and it would probably end up getting me fired. They're not just going to go "well he did upset her so she can scream and shout at him as much as she wants and he deserves it". Me screaming and swearing at him won't change the way he feels, it will just make him hate me even more.

The way I see it, it's all about balance.

Yep. You're right. It's all about balance.

You have to create an image whereby you're the steady, sensible one.

It would be really stupid to yell at the guy.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	Some off-topic posts and content addressing an unrelated incident have been removed. Please, keep to the topic and the best ways of dealing with Joe90's supervisor. Unlocked.