I'm so lonely

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I don't work but everyone else does that I know. I just spend most of my time at home. I make people feel uncomfortable as well. My sister and her friends don't want me around when they are in the living room or on the porch. Those are two of the places I like to be. They don't like my energy. I feel rejected. I hate being rejected.

I want to to work but it's not easy to keep a job for me. I can't work full time and I learn really slowly. My last job I stopped being scheduled for a week or 2 at a time. Everyone else I know is getting promoted or getting new jobs. Also they talk about them a lot. I can't share anything on that. Also people come home late when they are working. They go out drinking. I'm not supposed to drink.

I just feel so left out. I wish I could just get my life together and feel less lonely. It hurts to know everyone else I know is capable of jobs that I wouldn't even know where to begin with. I couldn't be a line cook. I'm not fast enough.

I don't know how to make friends even. Im not even comfortable around people most of the time. I'm scared. Also I just feel like I don't really get along with people who are Neurotypical. I get along best with people who aren't uncomfortable when I act in a way thats "weird". I honestly feel like my sister and her friend are judgemental because they tell me I make them feel uncomfortable and I don't know why.

Well, at least you're here. Folks here are generally friendly, even if we don't always have a solution to the problem, at least there's probably a few folks on here in the same boat.

Unfortunately, neurodiverse and non-productive member of society, are often treated badly by society, even by family members. You situation isn't that uncommon.

{{Crystal}}

It can be hard to deal with feeling rejected and isolated. Do you have online friends you talk to regularly? If not, making some might help with the loneliness.

I warn you right away that this is not the reasoning of a particularly happy person.
We are told that we should want to have friends, we should turn inside out, but still make a friend, a partner and be happy at the same time. Other people don't make me happy. They hurt me in various ways: they make noise, touch me, call me an insensitive robot and in other ways offend my feelings, disrupt my routine, spoil my plans and distract me. Relationships with these creatures are unlikely to make me a happy person, since the need to behave comfortably also applies to all of the above.
So, are you sure you really need it?
Because I've been thinking lately that I don't need it. It seems to me that what makes us really happy is our obsessions. Seriously, I think the feeling of immersion is the best I've ever felt. It's much better than a relationship

I've had some similar experiences.
For me I have found it can take a whole lot of effort to make any progress toward a better life.
I've just learned to live with that.