Hello all,
I moved over to this board after introducing myself. I'm a woman (anxiety/PTSD) in a relationship for more than a year.
My boyfriend shows some ND traits, but has never told me of a diagnosis. Here are a few things:
1. I mentioned previously that he started showing signs of a special interest about a month into our relationship. He would talk to me about this topic for 45 minutes or more (to the point where I wondered if he liked me).
2. He is very routine-oriented. He typically does the same activities in the same order each day. He likes to eat the same foods a lot. When I visit him at his apartment, I always have to call when I arrive. It takes him about 5 minutes to get outside to meet me at the car. When we arrive inside, he will already have a snack waiting on the table for us.
3. When I first invited him to visit at my apartment, he kept coming up with reasons not to come over (he would suggest I come to him or we go out). When he finally made his first trip to my apartment, he said he had never visited the home/apartment of previous girlfriends (I don't know the length of those relationships). He told me that when he goes to someone else's house, he can feel uncomfortable, as if the environment is out of his control. He also told me has trouble sleeping in unfamiliar environments (I have this issue also, so I understand). On his 2nd or 3rd visit to my place, he actually looked intensely nervous. Almost frozen for a few minutes. Before he left, I asked him if there was anything I could do to make things easier for him next time. He paused for about 30 seconds before finally telling me that I could buy a certain snack that he enjoyed.
4. A few times I have noticed that when I tell him that I want to explain something important (maybe about how I feel or something that happened to me), he will look directly at me and squint -- as if he is trying to understand and really ponder what I'm saying.
I'm a quirky woman, so I like unique people. I have a lot of anxiety, so I understand when others have anxiety too. When I love someone, I put my heart into it.
Can anyone relate to the examples I've given? Also, I've tried to read/study what I can about ASD. I would welcome any suggestions as to how I can be a good partner and put him most at ease.
19 Apr 2025, 11:21 am
