I have problems attracting women (Need advice)

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Are there any guys in the Autism spectrum that are currently married or dating women? If so, where did you first meet your romantic partners? What did you do to attract them?

I am struggling to attract women. Every woman I have approached is neurotypical. I have not encountered any neurodivergent women in my region. I have gone to bars, restaurants, dances and Meetup events.

How do you, as an Autistic or Aspergian man, attract any woman?

I try to relax and not worry too much about what women find attractive in men, but instead focus on just being myself and enjoying myself. When interacting with a woman I find attractive - good looking, funny, intelligent etc - I get genuinely interested in knowing more about her thoughts on different subjects, hobbies etc. Asking questions and listening to what she has to say comes naturally to me then. I enjoy these conversations without any thoughts about taking any further steps from this or any hidden agenda to seduce them. I think that "laid back attitude" usually makes women more likely to find me attractive. This is not rocket science, but it works for me.

I've been living with my current girlfriend for over 12 years now. We would be married but we both have various disabilities & getting married would screw up her benefits. I met Cass & both my previous girlfriends on online forums. The first was a forum for a common interest & we had some odd things in common like we both have dyslexia & she has ADHD & I have something like ADD. We became best friends before she told me she liked me. I met both my second girlfriend as well as my current on this forum by posting a lot. I'll try explaining how I attracted my current. I have various disabilities & issues & think being supportive of others with issues is on of my biggest relationship strengths though I don't go about being supportive in the typical NT way. I made lots of post talking about that & Cass PMed me after reading lots of my posts because she thought I'd be more accepting & understanding of her. Trying to meet women in person or on dating sites has never worked for me.

I am one, I am in a long term.



In my 20s I haven't even tried honestly; was too shy.

Got few dates that led to nothing in early 30s.

My first well established relationship happened at age 36.




Drop the idea of NT/AS; Autism is very rare.




For me, from trial and error, I noticed that interaction with foreigner women went way better; and my two long term between age 37 till now (I am 43 now) had been with two foreigners; the first between late 2016 to early 2019; the second between Nov 2021 and still going.

Between those two I had short flings (LT attempts actually, but didn't evolve) , all with foreigners (across 3 different nationalities: Philippines, American and Korean)
It seems many AS men on this forum are also married to nationalities other than their own.

I don't think it's a coincidence.

Maybe foreigners are less likely to find AS people less weird and would associate their quirkiness to cultural differences rather than ....weirdness?