Emotionally motivated action vs Discipline motivated action

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Dear all,

A topic that is burning holes in my current burnout cycle .

Framing:
We have (in varying degrees) differently developed and integrated reward/motivational systems in our brains.
This manifests itself in many and varied ways, 2 examples I've experienced and hear recounted by my ASD friend group are:

- Monotropism at the core: We often find ourselves in focused on a specific goal or task we might cognitively realize that other actions need attending also. But unlike my neurotypical children for instance I often struggle massively to swap over to the often very simple and remedial tasks, which they do so easily ... before my diagnosis i berated myself to extremes for this, now I try and treat this in a more informed manner.
-> The only solution I found for me here is what I call 'disciplined action'; i.e. I do not wait for habit or motivation to push me into action, the moment the thought occurs or my scheduled alarm rings, I stop what I'm doing and go.
and yes this takes a toll a big one at that but ... it is the only way I found to keep my families reality acceptable.

-Differences in our PreFrontalCortex(PFC) and Limbic system(specifically Amygdala and Basal ganglia) development:
Lets start with the neurotypical picture: my kids all form habits from complex ones to very basic. All 3 have a, to me mysterious, auto-magic drive to perform these habits, especially if they are linked with pleasant memories/emotions in previous iterations.
now to myself in the picture: I seem to miss out on a big part of the "drive" part of these habit/customs. For me mostly they require pragmatic, conscious thought and evaluation, and I seem to miss the intrinsic "pull" (for lack of a better word) they experience. result: I am much more deliberate but also much more tired than I should be. On One of these instances at my job, I got the remark of a colleague that I seemed to: "seriously lack motivation" I took this to heart (despite delivering twice the volume of work he did on average).
Hence this topic here in our forum and my open question to you all:
Do you also recognize yourself in these scenarios?

many thanks for your feedback,
Kadanuumuu

Sure. A lot of things are manual to me.

And my solution was largely figuring out how transitioning (internal AND external) and maintenance of inner state that maintains the ability to transition VS the mental, sensory and emotional reactivities...

Let's just say I was mostly stuck at the latter until recently.

It was bad enough that typical systems for autistics do not work for me (i.e. planning, routines, timing, predictability, etc.).

Because I lack a very important prerequisite of being internally regulated to start with (due to an unrelated unmanageable chronic condition that there is no such thing as sensory friendly thus any sensory regulating techniques do not work either), and the ability to maintain a form of internal consistency to maintain said mindset/goals/intent/etc. (by being too subject to internal and external storms that can be easily mistaken for ADHD) then bridging the gap between intention to immediate action (VS inertia, no compulsion/emotion, etc.)

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@Edna3362

Maestora Edna,

Many thanks for your reply and insight, they are much appreciated.
I am just glad that I am not alone with this struggle and will always appreciate new perspectives.

We have indeed, all of us, a specific set of challenges and only a subset of those can be managed though disciplined action, i.e. consciously driven action.
As with most things in my life, I wish there was a "one size fits all solution" but there is not and will never be. Hearing how different and diverse our experiences are hopefully promotes more understanding long term.

kind regards,
Kada

Certainly the first thing happens to me - I call it the sticky brain syndrome, where I'm doing one thing and hate to interrupt it. I can interrupt it if I see the need, but I get annoyed when I have to. I'm much happier when I can just finish what I'm doing in one uninterrupted session, but the demands of real life don't allow for that all the time. I'm not sure what causes the problem, but I think it's got a lot to do with the trouble in resuming after the interruption, which can be affected by memory problems. I also tend to under-trust my memory, so that I often manage to resume a job without much effort but I don't expect to at the time when I have to interrupt it. I just don't have much confidence in being able to remember anything. I guess that's because human memory is fallible and I'm kind of risk averse.

I don't quite understand the second idea. You seem to be saying that NTs get pleasure in repeating a habit. I kind of enjoy operating learned habits, but if they're well-learned I tend to get bored doing them because there's no challenge any more, so they soon feel menial.

Thank you for your reply maestro ToughDiamond,

Love your username, and thank you for sharing your experiences.
Indeed my, our sticky brains... a nice example of how strengths can also be a weakness (or visa-versa

for the second part; I apologize for my confusing language; sometimes crystalizing what I mean, takes multiple attempts. What it boils down to is another memory related issue; ie in mammalian brains memories get stored 'better', more easily recallable and if you wish 'stronger', the more inputs are involved. I'm sure you know that when studying something it is useful for most of us to not just read, the text, possibly read it aloud, mark the important topics, analyze the subjects, even engage with them... As such we add dimensions to the subject we're placing in memory, allowing the memory to be 'stranger' more easily recallable. The entire point 2 I was making is about the fact that emotions, linked to a subject count as additional inputs as well. And thus my proposal: NT peers have a limbic(emotion processing) system that is differently linked to their conscious mind, allowing for more easy linking between emotional feedback to an action or routine, a habit. As I noticed in my kids (because I watched them develop first hand ) is that they naturally/easily/... (i dont quite know the proper word here) learn and attent to habits when positive emotions occurred along side of the learning phase, whilst with myself and some ASD friends this does not, or much less so seem to be the case...

have an amazing day
Kada