Understanding myself

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I really struggle to understand myself. Some other people on the spectrum seem to be able to read up on autism and recognise the signs in themselves and gain an understanding about themselves because of that. I really struggle with this. Other people can identify my difficulties but I can’t. I have been diagnosed with Alexythemia however. Could this be the reason?

@GeordieGent
Maestro Geordie,

Thank you for sharing.
I was where you are now, 14 years ago.
It always seemed as I was the only one not clued into what other saw in me, or me in myself.

sooo... I've some good and some bad news
firstly the bad: this feeling, no fact never truly goes away.
the good: you can learn to deal with it.

My "eureka" moment came when I realized that I am alexythemic and this implies that there is some lag between integration of limbic (emotional)-systems feedback in my conscious cognitive (prefrontal cortex) ...
I'm over simplifying just to make a point: but for me this implies that, in most situations true understanding of myself in these situations, comes after they have passed.
This realization came mostly because each night I go over my day in a journal and slowly I began to see the pattern described above. I slowly began to understand myself better.

My way of integrating this realization in my life, was trough adopting a very laidback approach to all situations, phrases I often use are: "I'll think it over...", "I'll get back to you on that...", "could you please give me some time to see where I stand in this matter?". Many situations do not allow for such a delayed response, but where I can I am extremely lucky to have a trusted friend and colleague alongside of me. Whom I trust to jump in when 'time is of the essence'.

Each of us is different even at a fundamental level, so what works for me might not for you, but know you are not alone and yes it sucks, but there is are ways to live a full and fulfilling life.

Kind regards,
Kada