I hate having dinner at my friend's house

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My friend keeps inviting me to dinner at her house. I have been avoiding her, because she keeps asking me, even though I have told her I can't due to my anxiety.
I've had dinner with her twice before and I hated it. The first time, when I arrived, it was to find that she expected me to help her prepare the dinner. Her kitchen was tiny, and too hot, and I didn't know what to do, and it was also kind of dirty. The second time she invited another friend without telling me, someone I didn't know, so I was even more uncomfortable. She's not a very good cook and I ended up not eating very much.
I'd much rather go to a restaurant in the neighbourhood because I know what to expect if we go somewhere familiar, and it has a fixed routine, and length, so I know when I can politely leave.
I know that she likes to have dinner with her friends, but I much prefer just to have tea and a short talk and then leave. I like seeing her, I just hate having dinner with her. I don't know how to tell her without hurting her feelings.

Just say it as it is

First of all, learning to be assertive and saying no. However, please keep in mind that we are direct communicators and people off the spectrum feel that direct communication is rude.

It's best to say "I am not comfortable going to your home because I struggle with anxiety." Don't mention the other details about the small dirty kitchen, or how she is a lousy cook. Those kinds of comments can be very off putting to her.

I would mention the situation where she invited her friends and she didn't tell you. I would say "I really feel like invited your other friends without telling me."