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Why won't people just admit it?

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nick007
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04 Jun 2025, 2:26 pm

Coilette_91 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Some chronically single whiners do complain about no one being interested in them & they'll let it slip that they've rejected others for superficial reasons like not being pretty enough or not earning enough. I do agree that it's very important to have some standards in a potential partner but if those single people were really as lonely as they claim they would be willing to reevaluate their standards & make some compromises. When this gets pointed out to them they go into a rant about how they did not chose to have disabilities or to have the various problems they have in life so they should be expected to have to settle. Why would anyone settle or compromise to be in a relationship with them when they are too hypocritical to consider doing the same :shrug:


Thank you! This is what I was talking about. And at one point in time that was me, and I did reevaluate my standards and compromise. It's a learning experience. I don't want anyone here to take this as a personal jab, it's just food for thought. Something to consider. Because I had to admit it to myself too.
On the flipside there are some people who have very reasonable if not very low standards but still majorly struggle to get a relationship. I was one of them. I was single & looking for 8 years straight after my first relationship ended. The main standard I had was a woman with no kids who wasn't really older than me. I seriously contemplated having a gay relationship at various times because gay guys were coming on to me & I majorly HATED being single. I readily admit that I complained about being single alot but seeing/hearing others complain about it who had some seemingly decent opportunities really irritated me after a while, especially when it was from women who rejected the idea of getting in a relationship with me but kept turning to me to complain about being single. I woulda felt differently if the women rejected me because they didn't want to do a long distance thing or if their living situation woulda prevented us from moving in together for a long time since I was living with my parents but those weren't the reasons.


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Coilette_91
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04 Jun 2025, 2:58 pm

nick007 wrote:
Coilette_91 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Some chronically single whiners do complain about no one being interested in them & they'll let it slip that they've rejected others for superficial reasons like not being pretty enough or not earning enough. I do agree that it's very important to have some standards in a potential partner but if those single people were really as lonely as they claim they would be willing to reevaluate their standards & make some compromises. When this gets pointed out to them they go into a rant about how they did not chose to have disabilities or to have the various problems they have in life so they should be expected to have to settle. Why would anyone settle or compromise to be in a relationship with them when they are too hypocritical to consider doing the same :shrug:


Thank you! This is what I was talking about. And at one point in time that was me, and I did reevaluate my standards and compromise. It's a learning experience. I don't want anyone here to take this as a personal jab, it's just food for thought. Something to consider. Because I had to admit it to myself too.
On the flipside there are some people who have very reasonable if not very low standards but still majorly struggle to get a relationship. I was one of them. I was single & looking for 8 years straight after my first relationship ended. The main standard I had was a woman with no kids who wasn't really older than me. I seriously contemplated having a gay relationship at various times because gay guys were coming on to me & I majorly HATED being single. I readily admit that I complained about being single alot but seeing/hearing others complain about it who had some seemingly decent opportunities really irritated me after a while, especially when it was from women who rejected the idea of getting in a relationship with me but kept turning to me to complain about being single. I woulda felt differently if the women rejected me because they didn't want to do a long distance thing or if their living situation woulda prevented us from moving in together for a long time since I was living with my parents but those weren't the reasons.


And your situation is completely understandable. My chronic singleness had been mostly due to religious beliefs, otherwise I would've been with someone already. But I wanted to express what I said in this post because it is irritating to hear people complain about, especially complaining to someone else that's chronically single. I personally think it'd be a good idea to really assess their decisions before coming to the conclusion that they're unwanted.



ChicagoLiz
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04 Jun 2025, 5:13 pm

Tamaya wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Some chronically single whiners do complain about no one being interested in them & they'll let it slip that they've rejected others for superficial reasons like not being pretty enough or not earning enough. I do agree that it's very important to have some standards in a potential partner but if those single people were really as lonely as they claim they would be willing to reevaluate their standards & make some compromises. When this gets pointed out to them they go into a rant about how they did not chose to have disabilities or to have the various problems they have in life so they should be expected to have to compromise. Why would anyone settle or compromise to be in a relationship with them they they are too hypocritical to consider doing the same :shrug:


Oh right, I see what you mean.


Yeah, me too. That totally makes sense.


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