How does a man flirt?

Post Reply New Topic

Serious answer:

In real life, I never flirt someone not in relationship with; I strongly feel flirting would come across cheesy no matter what you say.

Some flirting through texting (after an established connection) may come across better and less cringy.
I never flirt via public comments on hot profiles in social media (that’s called simping) , I look down on men who excessively do it and I’ve seen many, even on profiles who are not celebrities.

I don’t like to be part of this growing «Onlyfans/erotic Insta/attention-seeking culture ».

And those who talk very loudly are often buffoons.

Actually it probably explains 90% of the women who ran after several conversations with me. I love to vent.

I strongly believe there’s a positive correlation between unjustified loudness and lack of culture.

I do vent too, I vent deadly gas.

That makes them run, literally.

I never flirt, finding it just cringy. And risky, I don't really know that girl and if I'll really want her (May she be attractive at first glance, but will she in longer run? Or it's just temporary fascination amplified by sexual drive?)
Hence when I start relationship with a girl, I do it by normal conversation with no romantic context included (even tho I'm targeting for a love)

Some people talk louder by their nature, like some talk quieter. It's not necessarily sign of no etiquette.
But I'd admit ill-behaved usually belong to the "louder people" rather than the opposite. Problably to make sure their arrogance is noticed ;>

Even as far back as the pre-internet era in the 1990s I found you could make many female friends (I had a range of single female friends when I was in my early 30s ranging from 18-25). But alas I spent a decade from my early 20s to early 30s being that guy who was filed away in their phone book (this is before digital phones stored friend details) as a friend-Dude. these same women were being railed regularly by another category of guys who were friends with benefits or with guys they just met who basically had a fling/swapped numbers. I was always Mr Friend zone in their phone book. Somebody they could call for advice/chat or catch up for a coffee or late night meal. I lived in the hope I could be more. But didn't really open my eyes my other services weren't required or wanted.

A correlation never means all points fall exactly in the line.

I'm 37 and just starting to carefully make more compliments... which I guess would be seen as flirting. I'm pretty sure women don't like the "cheesy flirting", so I've never tried that. (Though I did flirt accidentally that one time, with a girl I wasn't interested in. Oops.) Basically, I don't understand how people flirt the right way. And I'm certainly not going to clear my throat or speak loudly to attract attention. If I clear my throat, I just need to. If I talk loud, it's because I'm excited about a topic and I didn't realize my volume.

Flirting might be useful for me actually. I've had a couple of dates where I was very interested in the woman, and I thought it was obvious... but soon after was told "I thought you weren't interested". So I'm not very good at showing interest apparently. I guess actively listening and asking questions is not enough...

there's a fine art between paying attention and showing interest. Somewhere there's a point where the eye contact translates to sexual interest. Actually eye contact is something here in Australia is an indicator you might engage with the person (male or female or other). People here register your eye contact crosses a certain length of time then they either
a) look away quickly - (the speed they turn their head = the amount of disinterest/disdain they have with you)
b) keep staring and smile then i) make small talk or ii) smile and walk away
c) keep staring and challenge you (hey buddy! what are you staring at). Level of escalation = amount of perceived provocation.

One thing that makes me think I am nuerodivergent is I have always been reluctant to make prolonged eye contact. Probably why I bombed out with the girlies.

Is this limited to cultural background? What if you live in a society where wearing sandals is the norm?

I’m glad you brought this up because it conjures up similarly enticing concepts. For instance, a sure way to attract women when wearing sandals is to wiggle one’s toes.

Of course, wearing socks with sandals isn’t necessarily a bad idea, either.

That was interesting, thank you. It makes sense, and eye contact rules are probably similar here. Which means every time I'm uncomfortable with eye contact and I quickly look away, it might translate to the person as disinterest/disdain. But then... I don't necessarily want to show sexual interest. It's tricky.
There's only a couple of times in my life that a girl kept staring or smiled and walked away... I'm usually surprised, and by the time I process it, unfreeze and figure out what to do, it's too late.

And thus, I also "bombed out" my whole life. But I've recently quit dating apps. It lead nowhere for 3 whole years now and the constant "judging and being judged" was tough. I'm trying to do more social activities instead and who knows, maybe someday there will be the right person. As per usual, I may have to withstand a hundred rejections before that.

One thing that's constantly been an issue is being 38 but looking like 18.
To a 25 y-o woman I'm "old enough to be her dad".
To a 30 to 35 y-o woman I look "way too young".

It's very unlikely to be a dad at 13.