Hello, I'm Tisha

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Hi. I’m sorry for not replying right away.

Your message also felt so genuine —
I teared up a little… not in a bad way.
More like… a feeling that someone sees me, maybe even understands me — maybe for the first time in my life.

It’s like the way you write makes me feel like I’m not out of place…
like maybe, just maybe, there’s somewhere I could actually feel like I fit in.
(But maybe I’m hoping for too much — I don’t know. Time will tell.)

I don’t mean to say I’m struggling with socializing right now —
my social life is actually okay —
but in my real life, my socializing still feels a bit like a parrot trying to bond with cats.
Like — we’re friends, truly — but I’m a parrot and they’re cats.
Not in a fighting way — just different species.

So yes, I have friends.
But in a certain sense, a cat will never truly feel what it’s like to be a parrot, and vice versa…
And that means that even with friendship, I sometimes feel completely alone.

When you write, I feel a different kind of connection than I’m used to.

I’ve also spent most of my life living inside my head.
Even when life forced me to travel — I lived in Thailand for half a year — I almost never left my room…

Adapting was really hard.

Anyway, that was just a random string of thoughts from me.
I’d be happy to hear your random thoughts too — I really feel a resonance with them.

hello!



thank u!



Ah, I see — thank you for the clarification!
I think I was mostly asking from a technical angle, like… how to reply to several people at once —
but I think I’ve figured it out now )
Thank you again

TishaPlambob, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

It sounds like you have found the right place. I have a condition known as Asperger's Syndrome. If you look deep inside me you will find the brain of a child. I am 76 years old but my mind is that of a child, but a very, very, very smart child.

When a person transitions from childhood to adulthood, (around age 12 or 13) their bodies undergo great changes and much of what they learned as children are tossed into the garbage can and forgotten. So you sound like the soul of a child.

So what can I pass onto you. First. this condition is different between males and females. Normally males are attacked in their teen years and these attacks are very brutal. Females generally experience trauma around age 30. One of the condition that can occur is called Bipolar disorder. What you call a meltdown is probably related to bipolar.

Humans are much more complex then currently known. Look at the human brain. It has two sides. One half is on the left side of our skull and it is the dominant daytime brain. The other side exists on the right side of our skull and it is our night time brain that comes out during REM and deep NREM sleep. But for some of us a problem occurs during childhood and our brains reverse. It is like a back up condition. One of the most important things I can pass onto you, is to believe in yourself and your unique set of skills.

Your message really surprised me — because it uses exactly the same metaphor I once came up with for myself. I truly thought I’d invented it.

Not as detailed, though — I don’t drive, I only knew about manual and automatic gearboxes from my mom.
I didn’t even know you could actually break the engine if you use a manual gearbox wrong! I’m not great with car stuff
But yes — I also thought about gearboxes.

I've come up with so many metaphors to describe how I feel.
As a kid I wanted to become a writer, so I created lots of imagery to make sense of my experience — mostly just for myself, deep inside.
And until I started googling about autism (which was very recent), I’d never heard those metaphors from anyone else.

It’s such a strange feeling — when someone suddenly uses your words,
words that no one had ever said to you in 32 years.
It’s a very odd and moving kind of surprise

At the same time... I still have so many doubts.
As you might have noticed, I’m not a very cold person — and autism is often (wrongly?) associated with being emotionally cold

Well… I was cold as a child.
People called me “Tsarevna Nesmeyana” — that’s a Russian fairy-tale figure, something like “The Princess Who Never Smiles.”
They meant I didn’t show emotions, didn’t laugh, and barely reacted to things

But since around age 14 or 15, I’ve been very emotional.
Maybe I just absorbed the stereotype that autistic people are cold —
but that doesn’t really feel like me anymore. Not since I was a teen

Despite my own conclusion of feeling like a largely sheltered and shut in individual, you are not the first to tell me that I have some intangible quality that aids in my relating to others. If nothing else, my unaltered and genuine speech sparks a unique response. An associate from work did once tell me I was the most interesting person he had met, though I did promptly ask him where his wife ranked.

I could only imagine what it would be like to move to an entirely different country, the furthest I have ever been is the other side of my country.

As someone who has largely lived unseen, despite being 1.88 meters tall, I can understand the relief in feeling seen by others. I have known that at times, but at present it is a more divided thing.

The conversation in this thread brings several points to mind for me...and I don't think any of these will surprise you.



The folk on WP are, in reality, scattered across that Wrong Planet so many of us are in different time zones. And we have different daily schedules. And we have our own lives to live. Result: It might take time to get a response from someone.

Because WP is a bulletin board kind-of-thing discussions on WP are not necessarily between just two people. Sometimes there is a two-person conversation, other times it's more like a bunch of people standing around in a room and different people talk to the topic out of order whenever they have something to contribute. (And if a two-person conversation is ever strongly desired, WP has a direct message capability.)

Soooo... ^{Welcome to the chaos!}

thank you, I really like it here



thank u!



People often perceive me as a child. I’m 32 years old, but sometimes they even ask for my ID — even though I have gray hairs at my temples (just a few! )

Sometimes I’m emotionally unrestrained like a child. I didn’t know this could be related to Asperger’s. I suspect I might have it too — possibly Level 1 Autism — since my intelligence and speech are clearly not impaired. I’m just a little “weird.”

After reading about Autism Spectrum Disorders, I tried some “life hacks” — for example, I bought earplugs. I think I’ve never felt so calm in my life...

I had no idea noise affected me so much. Sadly, I’ve already lost them
I really need to order a new pair

…There has been a lot of stress these past few days, so I feel like my message is a little chaotic. I’m sorry. It feels like I want to share my whole life with someone all at once and hope to be understood

Many people with my condition can fall into chaos as they get older. I have found two things to be extremely important to maintaining my brain. These are exercise and sleep. One of the problems that many of us experience is that as we get older and leave school, we tend to set ourselves up for trauma because we get too involved in life and fall away from these needed restorative functions.

I am 76 years old and I try to exercise by walking up and down a steep hill for about an hour per day. Sometimes I go to the YMCA and swim a mile. Even though I am old, I can still swim a mile. I just use flippers and swim on my back. It takes about 2 hours for me to swim that distance.

Sleep is also very critical. But not just any kind of sleep. One needs about 2 hours per night of deep sleep, REM and deep NREM sleep in order to keep the brain working. As we get older, this can become a problem. Most people my age have major brain problems and decline because they can only get the lighter forms of sleep. They may only get a minute or two per night of this type of sleep. I began using a heated waterbed about 50 years ago and I have found it to be very beneficial.