Why won't people just admit it?
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,098
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

Thank you! This is what I was talking about. And at one point in time that was me, and I did reevaluate my standards and compromise. It's a learning experience. I don't want anyone here to take this as a personal jab, it's just food for thought. Something to consider. Because I had to admit it to myself too.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
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Coilette_91
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 4 May 2025
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 53
Location: U.S.

Thank you! This is what I was talking about. And at one point in time that was me, and I did reevaluate my standards and compromise. It's a learning experience. I don't want anyone here to take this as a personal jab, it's just food for thought. Something to consider. Because I had to admit it to myself too.
And your situation is completely understandable. My chronic singleness had been mostly due to religious beliefs, otherwise I would've been with someone already. But I wanted to express what I said in this post because it is irritating to hear people complain about, especially complaining to someone else that's chronically single. I personally think it'd be a good idea to really assess their decisions before coming to the conclusion that they're unwanted.

Oh right, I see what you mean.
Yeah, me too. That totally makes sense.
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techstepgenr8tion
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Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 45
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This is an incredibly hard part of it all, not only getting rejected by the single person saying that but also being the single person who either says that or at least thinks it without saying and has to reject and stay single because they can't find anyone where things feel 'right' with.
Especially if you have a rare or unusual personality trying to find compatibility is hard. If you just go for whatever's 'hawt' you'll either have a short-term WFB situation or you'll have a situation where you're with someone whose not okay with you as you are and being in a long-term relationship with them will be a bigger tax than your loneliness (the sex, if there is any, won't make up the difference).
A lot of the guys passing as MGTOW these days are guys who look at this, look at the choice between being single or being constantly nagged and controlled because the only way you're allowed to find a partner is by approaching based on looks rather than being allowed to sus out personality, values similarities, etc.. I think a lot of them realize that they're too low in (external measure) sexual marketplace value to find someone who'd be good for them, or at least not without trying it with like 200 to 300 people over the course of a decade or more - which in and of itself is a process that tends to poison people and maybe half of those dates even happen because they do meet the right person but by 100 people in they're jaded enough that they didn't believe what they were seeing. There's also the principle of least charity floating around as well where if anything can be interpreted negatively then the most negative interpretation is the correct one, that makes dating a lot like stubbing your toes constantly or like voluntarily putting your identity out there for attack.
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The loneliest part of life: it's not just that no one is on your cloud, few can even see your cloud.
nick007
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,098
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
I never cared for the whiners. Even before I met my wife, I enjoyed doing normal social things, by my standards, and living life. With how much I know of suffering, its always perplexing that people who seem to either suffer the least or who have not known the truth depths of despair are always the loudest. I have at least a dozen different fronts of things to deal with, but complaining isn't one of them.
Though it seems interesting, or at least amusing, to consider how many people are unaware that someone is or has been interested in them. At least that is a plight almost everyone faces in one way or another.
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