Masking = not masking!?

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Hi everyone,

The Premise:
Research has shown that the languages we speak—and how many we know—significantly shape how we think, perceive, and experience the world (see: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.117 ... 6231199742 ). For those of us on the autism spectrum, there’s often an added layer: we frequently need to “translate” between our own ways of thinking and communicating and those of neurotypical (NT) society. This isn’t just about social interaction; it can also apply to how we interpret our own internal signals (such as with interoception challenges).

The Proposal:
Given this, I’d like to propose that we reconsider the term “masking.” Instead of viewing it as simply hiding or disguising our authentic selves, perhaps it’s more accurate—and empowering—to think of what we do as “translating.” For myself, and for many ASD peers I’ve spoken with, navigating the world often feels less like putting on a mask and more like actively translating between different “languages” of being.

I’ve chosen a provocative title for this post because this is something I think about a lot, and I’d really appreciate your thoughts/feedback.
Does “translating” resonate more with your experience than “masking”?
Are there other terms that might better capture what we do?

Looking forward to your feedback!
kind regards,
Kada

Masking is intentionally hiding who one is. While masking is not the same thing as translating they often conflate. One can learn to translate for the purely positive reason of learning to communicate with the rest of the world or they could learn to translate for the reason of learning how to hide who they are because they think hiding who they are is the only way to better communicate with the rest of the world.

Yeah I read a book by Tony Attwood that said that framing "learning NT thinking" as learning a new
language is a more palatable framing than "masking".

I am not sure. I think I kind of want to flip your argument. Rather than seeing "translating" as neutral,
I think it still carries negative connotations.
For instance suppression of language is a common tactic in oppressive regimes.
(soviet union, aboriginal australians, suppression of greek under turkish rule),
and this does have a strong negative effect.

I think masking is ok as a term to have around because it does highlight the "replacement" of yourself
with a different self, which I think is more real for autistic -> NT language than between regular languages.

My personal experience with constant misinterpretation, and the relative impossibility of learning in ALL contexts
the appropriate way to communicate really resonates more with masking, and the social requirement of Forced Masking.

I have not had a good time in my 33 years, and I have lost a lot of money, potential and fun.

“Masking” has become a popular term in the community for the reason that it does explain what for most of us it is what we feel we have to do. The hope is that with time the situation will improve enough that the term organically changes or goes away.

Trying to change the term to a more neutral one does not change reality, it often hides it.

I can distinguish the two terms of the same looking outcomes.

I translate very, very often -- which is why I hate words and wording and get very disappointed very often.

But not mask.
I don't need to put a smile to convey happiness, not put a smile to pretend I'm fine, nor had to do so to express amiability that I'm "approachable and safe" because there's no underlying "please do perceive me as and approach me and think I'm safe" there either.

I don't hide whatever, not even stims and moodiness. I also don't fawn.
Masking is mostly a form of fawning in context of neurodivergence.

The work and processes of "Translation" is not the same as the drive and processes of "fawning".

One generally doesn't get bullied into doing translations -- that's more of a conscious choice, than the too common occurrence of getting bullied into fawning (masking).

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I disapprove of the way they've started using the term to describe things that are nothing to do with concealment. It was a confusing thing to do and the eggheads should have known better.

I don't mind what they call the things that aren't literally masking, as long as it's a name that fits what it describes.

This video explains the negative images of "AUTISM MASKING".

Dear all,

NOTE: please note that I do not want to offend anyone in WP, the topic and what I am stating here are all my personal opinions and thus subject to change. But the subject of masking is something that I myself am seeking clarification on and your feedback is much appreciated.


First of: Many, many many thanks for your feedback and insights on this topis.
I think that clear definitions are our 'friends' in trying to convey anything to NT or ND peers.
And "masking", a very important word in ND contexts, in in some ways a 'catch-all' term.
For instance even here in the reactions to my post, as I understand the feedback, ASPartOfMe is on the 'concealment' part of our common masking definition, while Edna seems to be more on the no masking and translation part of the definition. And Elijahahahaho and Tony Attwood are more aligned with me in seeing masking more as a sort of language we use.

Please allow me to add 2 short hypothetical's here:

- Example 1 - A Male ASD peer never diagnosed, grows up with many bumps and bruises in the NT society, never feels truly part of the social groups. But internalizes that the main issue is 'him' and that the issues are just 'puberal phases' he needs to learn to accommodate for and 'deal with'. That if he ever want to 'grow up' he needs to adapt. This becomes his norm and as such he learns hundreds upon thousands of scripts, behaviors and approaches. Because he has got 'some' raw intelligence this seems to work as he gets more and more welcomed into NT-social life. 40 years after his teen-years he has internalized all of them to the point that they are mental habits that require some energy, but no more than the reflex we develop in driving to work each day. 1 year later he get's diagnosed with ASD (type 1) and now he learns that he was "masking"...

- Example 2 - A Male ASD peer gets diagnosed with ASD early on in his development, his parents were suspicious when they saw their toddler grow up and before entering his first grade (year one - England) he is gets his ASD diagnosis and is subsequently send of to a Private school with a special needs education program. Here he learns to be less concerned with integration as the tutors and his school peers all seem to accept him. He learns that acceptance socially can look different, but that we are all unique individuals and that this is OK, despite 'the norm' we see in NT society. He learns many regulating, compensating and even camouflaging behaviors, that allow him to fit-into Society. He has, as does everyone, a need for social interaction outside of his ASD support-bubble, and has learned to 'mask' for short sprints and be able to deal with these.

- Examples discussion - Here both examples are both ASD diagnosed, but due to a different integratory and life-path the way the person in example A uses masking and how the person in example 2 uses 'masking' is different.
And different in the ways/aspects that I tried to indicate in my original post. One 'mask' is truly a second skin;
The person in example 1 is 'translating' his personality in most accurate way he can, to NT substitutes/equivalencies. And visa-versa; the societal demands, routines, etc. get translated back into his ND world-view. His focus is not to hide who he is, he is not even conscious of doing this 'masking' in most cases. He is trying to show who he is in a social-universe that is not his. He most likely continues this behavior when alone at home as well.
Versus the person in example 2, where they are consciously, temporarily hiding behaviors or parts of themselves they know might rattle the NT-peer(s). Once out of the social-societal engagement they quickly 'de-mask'.

Granted the person in Example 1 is headed directly for a burn-out, speed and depth of which will depend on their reserves, capacity and intelligence/insight. But even after the burn-out if he ever recovers, he has no other way of being than the one engrained in him trough his life's experiences.
I have talked to several peers in this example 1 and example 2 similar scenario's; those in example 2 will also have burnouts with big impacts, but I hope you see there is a different initial and subsequent state for both examples here.

- Summary -

I understand the etymological root of NT and ND peers using the word 'masking'.
I understand that it is a nicely established and available word for NT and ND peers.
For me it was quite a 'discovery' to these 2 different types existing. As Myself I've never truly felt that what I was doing was hiding-masking.
I propose that we continue the use of 'masking' when generalizing/summarizing but when actually talking about a specific friend/family member/colleague/ or ourselves we specify a bit (and feel free to add to the current dichotomy, if you see other kinds of masking) between Translatory-masking or hiding-masking.

I know this is a 'scream' in the void, and this will never happen but I am very open and curious about my fellow ASD-peers feedback on the topic.

Kind regards,
Kada

WE DID NOT KNOW TO MASK FOR MANY EARLY YEARS OF LIFE.and suffered ongoing consequences. Through my birth family, Pretty severe by my estimates. Then when I realized , I was to too. at times , I did better than others. As times passes you get mo.re skillful at it. It. your goal is to try to fit in . It was only incidentally. I am thinking clearly this had become a natural Aspie survial mechanism, if you can manage it at the time..