I met a beautiful woman today

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I think the concept of leagues just overcomplicates things. I mean, it's terribly subjective. You could try to quantify it in some capacity but there's just so many factors at play.

Plus, why would you even want to? Not terribly romantic, is it?

Sorry, I'm only a level 3 attractive, whereas you're a level 6, so we cannot be!

What are we even doing here, folks? Yes yes, we're all brains controlling this thing we call a body. There's a bunch of stuff going on in here, ooo primal urges ooo.

People with certain traits are attracted to people with certain other traits. Yes, we know selection is not entirely random.

What are we achieving by dwelling on it, though? Fascinating stuff sociology wise sure, but day to day? I mean what, when you kiss someone are you sat there thinking about the scientific reason we do so? I doubt it. Because instead you're in the moment, living your life.

As you freaking should. I know a thing or two about overthinking. Probably why I'm benched and not in the dating game myself.

Still, looking in - so what if you strike out? You tried at least. Besides, feelings go away. Crushes fade. They go back to just being a regular person and you look at them sideways and think - pft, I thought that person was attractive? What 18th century poet temporarily possessed me to make me think that? Anyways.

You can analyse things from a sociology perspective, sure, but practical application? Could drive you barmy if you let it. My days.

To clarify: this woman was visiting my organization. She spoke to everyone in a meeting. I did not speak with directly. There never was an opportunity to do so.

My point was how rare this kind of situation is; I almost never meet attractive women who are not either married or half my age.

And I know from over 20 years of life experience as an adult that women I find attractive are never attracted to me.

Look at celebrities: who do star athletes date? Who do super models date? How often to see a conventionally attractive woman with a financially struggling man? Or a tall athletic man with a fat woman?

I think among celebs there's even more exceptions than the general population, due to traits such as fame, talent, vibrant personality, and wealth which are all attractive qualities; and sometimes coupling happen for....non-attraction motives.

In the general population, couples are often more "in sync" , leagues wise.

First, leagues is not just about "looks" , but overall attractivness.

Whenever I go to some public place full of couples, I would estimate about ~90% of couples are VERY noticeably at the same level of attractivness; ie.attractive men with attractive women, not-so-attractive men with not-so-attractive women...etc

You should go out more and observe couples, probably it's more noticeable now in younger generations more than any previous generations.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matching_hypothesis

https://news.ufl.edu/2024/06/attractiveness-ratings/


https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2 ... ing-mates/

And AHA! Since Online dating (or meeting online) nowadays is DOMINATING lately the way how couples meet, then it makes sense that starting as friends is becoming less common too.

But what we find attractive varies, so objective standards that we can neatly measure people by doesn’t really seem very applicable here. For example, some of the things you mentioned as attractive qualities - fame, wealth, and a vibrant personality - I would see as either neutral or negative ones. Well, I suppose it depends on the specific vibrant personality.
I do go out and observe couples on a regular basis. I’m an introvert; I observe people. I stand by the comments that I made. Sure, a lot of folks care about certain characteristics. I wouldn’t claim otherwise. However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to make assumptions about a highly attractive person - or anyone - for reasons I explored in my other post. Where I live, I’ve often seen couples that wouldn’t be considered of the same level of attractiveness.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 17 Jun 2025, 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

I always see highly attractive people dating other attractive people, and unattractive people dating unattractive people. There a couple I used to run into; the husband was short, financially struggling, and wearing ruggedly clothes; and the wife looked like someone on my 600lbs. Life. I had a coworker who struggled in his dating life because he was obese and had a very unlikable personality, and at one point he started dating a very obese and unattractive woman. The reality is that people go for the most attractive person they can get: attractive people date other attractive people while unattractive people settle for the only partner they can get. I probably wouldn't have stayed single for over 16 years if I was willing to the same. I did date a woman I found unattractive in college because she was the only woman who was ever interested in me. But it turned that she was an extreme manipulative and emotionally abusive person who targeted me specifically to take advantage of my vulnerabilities. That is why I refuse to ever lower my standards or settle again.

When I was young, I knew someone who was way better looking than I was, but rather than being out of my league, I’d say that despicable excuse for a human being was beneath me. Apart from very rare extremes like that one, I think more in terms of personal preferences than in a hierarchical way because all are worthy except for very rare exceptions. Attractiveness or the lack thereof says little about the sort of person someone is. There’s nothing wrong with liking what we like, though. I will say that I think the focus on appearance can be a bit strange sometimes, like when it’s pushed to the point that other characteristics (i.e. personality, character traits, etc.) aren’t considered.

Nobody ever said that those other characteristics are not considered. One thing that's important to me in attraction is being intelligent and intellectually interesting and having some kind of nerdy quirks and interests. I wouldn't want a relationship with a physically attractive woman that did not meet those criteria on some level; but at the same time, I don't want to date someone with those characteristics who's ugly.

It certainly seems to be the implication sometimes.

In any event, I’m a bit puzzled by the premise of the thread:All that we know about this woman is that she was beautiful.

What would happen if you were in a relationship with a woman you found physically attractive but whose looks faded over time for whatever reason?

THANK YOU.

TwilightPrinces, you really have this tendency to project stuff not being said sometimes, and takes what is said in total absolutes. I don't mean this in a mean way,

Saying that, this topic got sticked in my mindduring the day; and for self-confirmation (and to prove you all wrong ) I did closer observation, I went to the gym, went to a café, passed by the supermarket, and I observed couples: My theory is accurate by like 90%, "mismatched" couples are very rare and usually are among older people (who were probably matched in their youth!).

Not only that I noticed the couples are matched in "levle of attractivness", but they are even more often matched in styles. ie. The steroid-styled bodybuilders are often with plastic bimbos, the man histper is often with a woman hipster, the elegant with the elegant, the very-tattooed guy with the very-tattooed gal, the fit with the fit, the chubby with the chubby, the dropdead gorgeous is often with well...another dropdead gorgeous (well, that one is innate and not really a style)....etc

I am using the word "often" here just to be political correct here in WP, but for my today's observation the often happens to be "always", at least in all the cases I have seen today.

And I haven't even noticed that before among local couples, but I noticed the same in other countries I had been to, such in Turkey, in Czech Republic and Cypress. And even among the large ethnicity communities here in Lebanon such as the Armenians and Filipinos.

It's very consistent, across mutliple cultures and communities.

Well, I have no proof because that would mean I have to film them.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Jun 2025, 12:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

That's different. By that point we would already have established a connection. There is a huge difference between growing old with someone and only ever being with someone after she had already grown old.

What about you? What would you do if the person you're with lost his money and his home?

I guess my point is that I was surprised to meet any attractive woman who isn't already married at this point in my life, because of how uncommon that is.

I wouldn’t necessarily be against dating someone who didn’t have money or a home to begin with.

There are likely more single women out there than you realize. No matter what they look like, women go through breakups, get divorced, or just have trouble finding someone who’s a good fit.

I wasn’t projecting. I was making an observation about human behavior. Notice my use of the qualifier “sometimes.”

But he still has to have something going that makes him stand out. Otherwise, you would've already gotten together with the first random man you ran into.

Where are these single women, then? Because I've never come across any. Even all the divorced women are already remarried or seeing someone by the time I come across them.

Thinking about all the hetero couples I've known over all the decades, I'd say a large majority do not 'match' each other from a purely physical point of view. But then, I don't socialize with Ken/Barbie couples (except for one couple who actually had those names, but not the matching physical characteristics).

What I have found is that the people I've known who are in long term relationships -- decades long, not a few months -- are 3-dimensional people who see their partners in the same way, and always have.

The relationships, including marriages, that don't seem to work are the ones where the participants are play-acting at being a couple because they think they look right together or that it's the socially acceptable way to be. There's no substance behind their coupling.

We see attractive (to us) people every day and continue on with our lives. Choosing to get to know someone takes time and requires a lot more than a fleeting glance at a stranger. There's actual work involved. It's not just about initial attraction. In fact, many long term couples will laugh about how they weren't attracted to each other at first, but it grew over time as they got to know each other.

I think holding oneself to higher standards is the first step on this path. Figure out how to be a better person and particularly a good partner. That is what's attractive, in every sense of the word.