I met a beautiful woman today

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Why do we get into relationships/marriage if it's so much work?

Why do people do it?

You have to have a LOT OF PATIENCE to slog through the dating process so how come some people reach the goal of marriage while others don't?

The answer is...dedication to the goal!! !

In this case the goal is getting married

To reach that point, every single couple had to suffer through the dating process first

But some people give up too quickly before they can find a perfect match and they are the ones who fail!

Some people don't even get to the point of dating because they cannot find anyone suitable

The people who are dedicated to the marriage goal are the ones who succeed

Same holds true for career goals as well

What do you think about my analysis?

When most people talk about being single, what they mean is that they have been through a number of failed relationships. I only was ever in one relationship that was emotionally abusive and ended over 16 years ago. I did not get married or have a successful relationship because I was unwilling to put the work in; it's because no woman aside from my abusive ex would ever give me a chance at all.

It is important to me that a partner have similar values and fun quirks etc. I'm just saying that physical attraction is also important. That doesn't mean I'm looking for a supermodel; I just have a type like everyone else.

I need sex. I'm over 40, and I've only ever had one sexual experience in my life; it was over a decade ago and it was terrible. Sex is a terrible reason for pursuing a serious relationship, but that is not required to simply have sex.

The other thing I'm concerned about is companionship: I'm permanently separated from my family, and we don't see eye to eye. I'm on my own and I'm tired of being lonely.

And because I'm getting older, I'm worried about running out of time.

Where are all these single women? Anywhere I go, all the women I meet are either too old, too young, or taken. And on the extremely rare occasions when I do meet a single woman who's close to my age, either she doesn't like me or don't like her.

Single just means you are without a romantic partner

However, there are different sub-categories of "single"

(single due to divorce/death, single due to unfortunate circumstances, voluntarily single, etc...)

Each person within those sub-categories have their own perfectly valid reason for being in that state!! !

Maybe they don't want to deal with the hard work of dating and having to maintain a long-term romantic relationship or marriage?

Maybe they personally witnessed their parents' failed marriage which traumatized them?

Maybe they can't find anyone to date?

There are a LOT of factors & variables that play a role in why a person is single!

Some people only stay single until they meet the right person and get married while others stay single forever

I think many married couples forget that being single is the default state...

yeah that's true

I should clarify what I was trying to say in the OP.

I've been attending a clubhouse for people with mental health to connect and participate in a community. A few weeks we were visited by a lady that was very beautiful. She spoke to a bunch of us in a meeting about her life experience. She said she's 38 and that she spent a portion of her life at home struggling with her mental health, and how she feels like her life stagnated, which felt similar to my life experience. I and everyone else were surprised because she looks younger. I've felt that as I got older it was getting increasingly difficult to meet women my age who are attractive. The situation did permit for me to char with her before she left, and even if I tried I'd just be another random middle aged man hitting on her, which happens to women like her all the freaking time.



Obviously, I don't know her well enough to develop any feelings about her. My point is that this incident reminded me that there are still attractive out there. But they are few and far between. Attractive women my age are almost always married, and the few who aren't have better options available to them than a fat broke guy like me.

I recently watch this info graphic video. I noticed how they say old men like me are the biggest marks for prostitutes because it's impossible for us to get girlfriends.

This reminds me of the last blind date I went on.

Was expected to buy my own cup of tea despite having been asked out by the guy, who arrived looking like he'd just gotten out of bed wearing the clothes he'd slept in (didn't even comb his hair). He promptly told me that he was both homeless and unemployed. Had no interest in learning anything about me. He was 10 years older than he claimed, and simultaneously thought I (15 years younger) was too old for him. Made it clear that I wasn't "at least an 8" and therefore he wasn't interested.

Still haven't figured out how it was my fault, but I'm sure it must have been.