How do people have more friends in adulthood?
I used to be friends on social media with someone who I met at college. I used to see photos of her with friends at concerts, holidays, parties, having a whale of a time during her 20s and early 30s. Some of these friends three or four of whom I recognised because she would be out with these particular four one photo I saw was when they celebrated an graduation anniversary. It makes me think "why didn't I have the same number of friends and a social adult life like hers?" It makes me that she's lived the high life because she had quite an active social life and maintained friendships in adulthood after leaving university etc. It also makes me feel I've "missed out" by not having the similar experiences she's had.
Sable Noctis
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 28 Jun 2025
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 46
Location: United Kingdom
I don't have any friends, none i don't know anyone either, I'm not joking.
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Looking at other posts of yours here on Wrong Planet, I see that you have a strong interest in politics.
Have you ever been involved in any kind of political activism? If not, I would suggest that you do so. If you go about it in an appropriate way, it can have the side-effect of enabling you to find friends. (If you want to discuss more about how one can make friends through political activism, or the reasons why you feel that this wouldn't work for you, we should probably create a new thread in the "Politics, Philosophy, and Religion" section.)
Also, I notice that you live in the U.K. Because there are quite a few other Wrong Planet users who live in the U.K. too, you might be able to find some good potential friends here on Wrong Planet if you stick around long enough.
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I think that the main thing about making friends as an adult is being intentional.
Now, you have your coworkers. However, unless you're in a certain specialism, chances are the only common ground you have is that you both want to earn money. That's not a great basis for a friendship. Although you might find a friend there.
You ideally want to find someone with a bit of common ground. So, consider your interests, but also consider perhaps branching out and trying something a bit different. Not entirely out of your comfort zone, but slightly out of left field.
If you have a friend already, then try inviting them out to do something every once in a while. Friendship goes both ways and if your friend is the only one that reaches out, then they'll be less inclined to keep the friendship going.
Also, a friend of a friend could be a potential friend of yours. That's not to say stalk your friend's friends and make them be friends with you. Rather, if your friend mentions their friend, then you could ask a couple of questions such as - what are they like? How did you meet? Are they into (interest)? This could potentially lead to an introduction. Not too many questions, mind you. Casual interest. Not an interrogation.
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