Should you have at least some drinks, drugs etc in life ?

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I know this sounds like a ridiculous question to ask but that's because I'm questioning myself for not doing much of certain things when people are younger. I've said before about "missing" on not having lots of wild partying, sex and drinking that some people in their late teens/early 20s do, it feels as though if you don't do much of that stuff before you are older then you will end up regretting it and that if you did it later, it wouldn't be much enjoyment anymore because people have matured, got married and had kids etc.

The thing is with me I've never wanted to take drugs or get drunk to have a good time. Even when I was a bit younger I felt like I was mature for my age at the time. I seem to think I gained more confidence and doing enjoyable things in my late 20s/early 30s, like travelling abroad, passing my driving test, wanting to say yes to going somewhere. All this was going on, while some people of the same age at met long term partners and starting to get married and I wasn't at the same stage as them. Even now I seem to feel I'm trying to make up for time lost especially during the pandemic.

I've never been drunk or high either. Those substances are only used by people for two reasons; peer pressure OR escapism.

It's quite remarkable that I don't revolve my life around drink or drugs, being how high my anxiety levels are and the way my brain tortures me with worries and emotions such as guilt, embarrassment, sadness, or vulnerability. But I'm scared to abuse my body in ways that affect the brain in case it gives me early onset Alzheimer's or something. It might be due to a past of having a diagnosis of Asperger's in an era of strong beliefs about vaccines causing autism and even once being in a situation where I was exempt from having a vaccination for Meningitis because the school nurse thought it might "make my Asperger's worse". That frightened the s**t out of me. I'm not a believer of vaccines causing autism or anything but I am still cautious of what I put into my body in case it damages my brain.

But yes, I do feel alone in this society, because to me it feels like I'm surrounded by alcoholics and drug-obsessed addicts - even though I know that most people aren't that extreme but to someone so "clean" and "dry" like me it can feel that way sometimes. Wherever I go people talk about alcohol and when the next time they're going to get drunk is, or they talk about weed. I hate it all. It's like being teetotal is as much of a social problem as being an alcoholic is.

When you enter adulthood it seems to be expected to include alcohol in almost any social activity you participate in, and if not then it's "immature". For example, if you're like 20 and you go to the carnival funfair with your friends, you're considered too old to hang out at funfairs with friends - unless you are hanging around the beer tent. Or if you're hanging around in town in a group on a Saturday afternoon, you might be considered "immature" unless you are on your way to a pub for some social drinks. If you're not drinking alcohol when hanging out with your friends in town as an adult, then you're being immature.

It's just the way this culture works and I hate it. It makes me feel more alien than what my AS or ADHD ever has done. It's probably why my sister has more friends than me, because she's considered fun, as she likes to get drunk when she goes out and has weed. But I find drunk people scary, in an uncanny valley way. I've never been in a drunken state before so I don't know how it feels to be drunk, the type of drunk where you lose all your empathy and behave like a jerk. Why do people find that so appealing?

I have tried to drink before, but after the first glass I felt bloated and nauseous and couldn't have any more. This can be traumatic for someone with Emetophobia (I have a phobia of being sick), and so that's another reason why I avoid alcohol like the plague, unless it's just a bit of wine with Christmas dinner or something.