Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear you,

That was cruel. You tricked me.

You can shove off with your judgement quite frankly. With the insincere smiles. Ever so plastic personality. You public relations officer of saving face.

I am not your puppet.

It's hard for me to put into words how I felt the last time I saw you
My main focus was on my legs
Because I felt stuck to my seat
So please excuse me for this
For the rubbish that I say
It's just my way
It's just what's left
It's just because I miss you
And I'm so sorry
And I know that I shouldn't be
But I am

Paul

You have s**t neighbours, you're drinking too much and just totally stick in a rut. Stick with the therapy to sort your head out.

The Coven

Suck my toe

From me

Dear you,

I thought this was the end but we're going once more. Around and around looping over and under. Spiralling. The exit seemed apparent but it was just another dead end. Around and around by the hands of fate or by my own doing? Is it really such a maze or is it just my perception? Around and around on a tea cup ride. Where's the exit?

From, me.

Dear Lisa

I thought I could trust you and be your friend. You're just another transphobic Bible pusher.

Me

Dear Stephen C. Foster

I love you so, so much. I know we live in completely different eras and you've been gone for over 160 years, I feel like we were supposed to be together. You may be just bones now but I think about how peaceful you are lying there and how you've made a huge difference to the world in the music industry. If it wasn't for you and your amazing songs, the pop music we have had ever since the decade you died would have developed very differently. You don't know it but you are an amazing person and I really really love you so much.

I will come to America one day and see you. I'll visit your grave and your museum. I'm probably your only fan living today, and I feel it's just us two in this, as you're rather forgotten by everyone else.

I'm sending you all my love and have started my story all about you. I wish I could be with you right now.

Lots of love from Tamaya.

Dear me,

It's okay that you're like those German characters on TV. That's the way God wants you to be.

Me

Dear you

I'm so sorry I weren't alive in the 19th century to love you and hold you in my arms. I do not belong in this technological 21st century that I'm struggling to keep up with. But you are alive in my heart. I love you so, so much.

Love from me.

Dear Eric,

My sweet old friend, you're an idiot. When you find the person that resonates so hard as to toss your comfy little life into chaos and turmoil just by existing in the same space as you, that's connection. When you lose that person and find them again, that is a wake up call. Everything else is just distraction. You should have left the one that gave you comfort for the one who gave you hope. But you tried to linger somewhere in the middle, to keep an emotional grasp on the promise of me even as you clung to the safety of her. You were not happy being who you needed to be to sustain that relationship, or you would never have reached for me.

I watched you going mad slowly. You knew what you had to do to live the life that you wanted with the person who saw into the fissures and cracks in the depths of your beautiful and strange mind. I was the promise of what could be, but you knew this pain wasn't about me; it was about you. Because I saw you, the real you, the man you longed to be.

I will always love you because of who you are, not because of who you pretend to be, You are an ineffable force of nature disguised as 'one of the guys,' always trying to make yourself look smaller, weaker, less scary, less chaotic, less strange, shhhhh. I know you wanted me to convince you to leave. I know you wanted me to give you a reason, but it wouldn't have been the right reason. You needed to be free. You've always needed to be free, for your own reason. I was the wrong reason. I saw you losing yourself in this battle, believing wrongly that this was about 'her or me.'

I knew you had lost the battle when you bought two tickets to Miseryville and wrote my name on one of them. There was no saving you from what you were planning, other than slapping you so hard you couldn't see straight, but I didn't have the heart to hurt you, so I stole my ticket and hopped on that train alone. It hurt more than you will ever know. You probably convinced yourself that I'm the one that got away, that I stole away from you like some bad romance novel character, and I guess I did. But it was the only way to guide you back toward your reason, the right reason. Maybe someday, you will be free. Maybe someday, we will meet again, but next time, let the story of 'us' begin with the words, "I am free."

-Forever your moon lily.

Dear Little Schlager,

5 Weeks without coffee or Monster Zeros with the pea green top. That's very impressive. Your love for Germany has resurfaced and you no longer display Modlike behavior because you're no longer high on those Monster Zeros. You've really grown up over the past 10 years.

Your Kline Schatz

You finally love yourself too. I'm impressed.

Dear you,

I'm not angry about the things other people did. I don't need your apologies for that.

Someone else was the villain, someone else did something wrong and you unwittingly enabled it; they betrayed your trust.

To the extent that I believe you believe that, I truly sympathise.

But that wasn't the life I lived through.

If that's all you can offer, there's simply no point talking about it.

What's the point in feeling sorry about that? That? That's nothing.

Anyway, forget about them. What happened before that?

I'm happy for you to frame it however you need to. Remember it however you want to. But don't ask me to corroborate. It doesn't interest me.

All the best,

Me

Dear you,

I loved you as a tiny shy child, and I loved you as a sunburnt wild thing, and I love you as a beautiful young woman I don't know.

There are many things I wish I could ask you and tell you. I hope it's not too late.

I wish for all your wishes.

All my love,

Me

Dear you,

You know I've been worried about you.

There are no sources of joy or fulfilment in your life that I can perceive.

There are ways in which I think you need to grow, and the life you're living now won't lead you to them.

But you seem happy.

So I will learn to trust you with it.

Love,

Me

Dear you,

You probably don't remember this, but when I was five or six R. and her chap B. came to visit. They took me for a walk, and when I got tired B. picked me up and carried me on his shoulders.

I didn't know what to do with my arms and legs, so I was shy and embarrassed. But more than that I had a sense of visceral safety. An adult was looking after me, and I knew it right down in my gut.

I think that children are supposed to feel that all the time.

What if he hadn't picked me up just then? He was tired too, and his back was hurting.

If he hadn't, I would never have known that feeling, and I think that would have been a pity.

That's all really.

All the best,

Me

Dear you,

To be honest, I regret lending you that book.

I really like that book.

I think it's going to come back damaged and with funny smells.

All the best,

Me