Life begins at 40

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If it does begin at 40, I'm definitely still waiting. Having a recent ASD diagnosis helped, I'm just annoyed its taken so long to get clarification. Better late than never I suppose. Time to unmask, make friends and chat to people about anything and everything.

Hi to all
Joey
(Madsie is my cat)

I'm in my mid-thirties and I still have this feeling that my life hasn't started yet, so to speak. What would constitute this "life" that hasn't started, I'm not sure. Sometimes I've thought that once I got a long-term girlfriend, that would be when my life started. Other times I've thought my life would start when I became rich and/or famous or did something really important. I don't know what it is, but I do know that I don't want to be on my death bed, being struck by the sudden realization that I never actually lived.

That's an extremely fair point. For context: I was married for over 10yrs, lucky enough to own a house, went to and from high stress jobs for 20+yrs . I did everything that the masking version of me thought everyone wanted, then unsurprisingly I had an acute burnout. Its fear that would hold me back to your point of realising 'I've never actually lived'. Its more in hope that my life is long overdue a refresh opposed to beginning again.

The way people go on it sounds more like your life *ends* at 40.

Depends if you are half full or half empty I suppose? I am a pessimist so I can always be surprised.

I was scared to reach 40. Then when it happened, it just happened. No dramatical event. I was just 40! (I am now older than 40. I found out I could be on the spectrum when I was about 44 to 45.
It took me 2 years to ask a doctor if I was as I would get mindblank and have to talk about something else. (I was seeing doctor regularly back then as they wanted to check blood pressure).
When I did ask, it was another 4½ years before I was assessed as I was fast tracked as I had moved area. That was about 2 years ago.

I agree, I think people (other than myself) make a massive deal just because you get to a 0 every 10 yrs. Thought provoking, even my post seems to have a basic mask over it. I'm early 40's (whatever that is) & I'm glad after waiting nearly 3 yrs on NHS I saved up to get a private assessment. If I hadn't got it I would still be waiting and searching for why I always felt like there was nowhere I fitted in. Its good to hear you managed to get what you needed & hope your BP is stable.

Not sure what my blood pressure is these days except it was high a few months ago. I realized it could be due to too much cola so I only have half a glass around once every three days at the moment and I feel better for it. Problem is I need to avoid artificial sweeteners and I drank a lot of cola as other than water and milk, I was getting bored in what I could drink. Also cola is kept incase of shutdowns as shutdowns are very energy draining and cola along with chocolate etc would help recover.
Dr's wanted me to be on blood pressure tablets for the rest of my life, but I don't want to start taking them. Always used to be fit until about 6 years ago when I had the last burnout (Nurvous breakdown) which I have recovered from (Just about!) as it took ages to recover from... Actually this last month or two I am doing things which I used to put off because I couldn't do them... I was getting burnout in cycles before that (Before I was diagnosed) as I did not know what it was or how to ask for help... As I would recover and out of no income while recovering I had to try working again... So I would work, get another burnout, hand in my notice... Recover for a year or two... Cycles that were deepening each time they hit so the last one hit hard. (I was silly as I kept pushing myself too hard).
Fortunately I was able to get help via the autism team as I was already on their list and they arranged me to see my doctor with a letter explaining what I was going through which then put me on benefits to recover.... So I am in a much better position now after a long recovery.
I am typing while I am about to make some model railway waggon bodies. Something which going back 4 to 6 years ago I would struggle to do. Yet something I used to do easily. Am back to the easily now. Phew!

Sometimes its best not to know I have an absolute obsession with pepsi max. I only allow myself one when I go out or on the odd occasions at the weekend. My mum when she was younger drunk too much fizz and it nearly knackered her liver to the same extent alcohol does. You'd think I would have learned. I had my one and only burnout in 2022 it lasted off and on for 4 yrs. I've just attended my first interview since 2022, last week. I had absolutely no idea either. Just thought it was a combination of all the (what I now know to be) misdiagnosis and copious medications, stress the usual for us. I never used to even take a pain med before all this MH started accruing.

Glad you are getting back to doing things you used to do and enjoy. Get back to those wagon bodies!
All the best.