Forcing myself to have kids but I can't stand tantrums

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chris1989
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12 Jul 2026, 3:05 pm

I seem to feel as though sometimes having kids is something that people do even regardless of really wanting to or not. A strong part of me doesn't but there is a part of me that is telling me to have them anyway.

I have a six year old nephew who has ADHD and autism and I seem to find myself getting annoyed whenever he these meltdowns or tantrums where sometimes he has to be restrained and we can't work out why it happens. I don't know if it's overstimulation or something.

Even though he is six, I still struggle to deal with having nephew, he can be annoying sometimes and sometimes I feel bad because I seem to lack interest in wanting to interact with him. I don't know that because I don't have kids I don't understand the situation until I do. I am also well aware that their is a slight chance my kids will be autistic or have ADHD like my nephew even though there is no guarantee.



funeralxempire
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15 Jul 2026, 4:33 am

If you're not equipped to raise kids, don't put yourself in that position.


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squeeker
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15 Jul 2026, 11:37 am

Yeah, not everyone needs to have kids. The nice thing about nieces and nephews is spending time with them but then getting to go home after.

I like the idea of having kids some days, but then other days I feel like it would be too hard. I don't spend time with kids that much but more recently I have spent time with my 2 year old nephew and wow I am exhausted after. But he's fun and I'm happy to spend some time with him when I get the chance to.



Nightmare_Child
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27 Jul 2026, 4:23 pm

Tantrums are one of the main reasons i'm borderline anti-natalist.

Its obvious children are unhappy due to the world's expectations when they have tantrums, So i refuse to bring them into this world.

Yes its a sacrifice on my part (because i actually want an offspring.) but at the same time i have to remind myself of the greater good and think of what i would've wanted as a child. I never wanted to come into this world because of the many facets of pain i'd later experience firsthand.



adoylelb90815
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Yesterday, 7:48 pm

At least, you can make the choice not to have kids, including going as far as sterilization. Personally, I love being an aunt as sooner or later, the nieces or nephews go home with their parents.



funeralxempire
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Yesterday, 10:37 pm

Nightmare_Child wrote:
Tantrums are one of the main reasons i'm borderline anti-natalist.

Its obvious children are unhappy due to the world's expectations when they have tantrums, So i refuse to bring them into this world.


I believe lack of coping strategies is another major factor. Tantrums are often at first a response to being overwhelmed and sometimes become a manipulative coping strategy if the kid notices they can manipulate others successfully.

They continue to be a last line coping strategy for some people, especially when mental health issues and stress are involved. Meltdowns and crash-outs might be more common terms.


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There's no such thing as a free market.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.