Seem to feel like everyone else had enjoyable 20s but me

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I seem to have this absurd notion that everyone else in their 20s had a "perfect and enjoyable" time throughout except me. It feels like everyone was living it up, drinking, clubbing, going to concerts, travelling, having lots of sex and so on. In my early 20s I had panic attacks and anxiety during uni and volunteering and didn't have a proper paid job until 26. I didn't start going abroad as an adult until 25 on a cruise ship and went on a plane for the first time as an adult at 27. I didn't pass my driving test and driving my own car until 28. I got more confident in doing things later on. I went to a nightclub to see my stepmum's nephew playing a gig but because of the flashing lights and stuff, I spent the rest of the night outside.

Comparing yourself to others is probably going to make you more miserable than anything.

My 20s had a lot of high points, but I also encountered so many health problems that they almost cancel each other out. I'm way happier at 30 than I was at 20.

I just don't understand why my brain keeps perceiving whenever I would go on social media during my 20s and even now in my 30s, that everything is great in that decade. I have confidence sometimes in me now that didn't have in my early/mid 20s and thinking that everyone of that same age was more confident than me and yet time and again I keep putting being autistic as the reason, aside in my thought process as though I'm forgetting about that consideration.

Indeed, it's an easy trap to fall into. Especially with social media sites that push lifestyle content like Instagram. It's always important to remember that you are seeing a small snippet of the daily lives of the people posting, and many people fake their lifestyles.

I'll share the perspective I have here, talking to my younger sister about this super recently; she got married back in 2020 and is a stay at home mom with two children and a loving husband. She lives on a picture perfect farm in rural Oregon, the type that would make homesteading tradwife wannabees drool. Her house is paid off, her kids are very cute, her husband very doting and kind. From the outside, she looks like she's leading an idyllic life.

The other day, she told me she was jealous of me. She told me she wished she had waited a little longer to have gotten married and have kids, that she wanted to work normal jobs and live in apartments independently like I did. She saw the freedom I have as someone who lives alone, all the concerts and shows I go to, the parties, the clubs, etc. That's what she sees me doing, and she's getting FOMO from that as well.

Tl;dr: The grass is always greener on the other side. I didn't know that she felt like she had rushed settling down and starting a family, and she didn't realize just what kind of financial hardship I was enduring with my own lifestyle, that I had to fend for myself and earn my own money and that none of my freedom came free. It isn't even just an autism thing, this is something people experience regardless of their neurotype.

The best advice I can offer is just continuing to life your life to the best of your ability, and to take care of yourself and try to enjoy your time on this world.

I've heard of people saying that where they wish they didn't settle down too early and would probably be quite jealous of the free time that those without partners and children enjoy but the thing is with me, is this obsessive self imposed pressure to stop being single in my 30s as though being single at this stage is "not normal" despite knowing there are plenty of others in their 30+ or maybe 35+ like me still single, living with parents and so on but the thought of feeling "the only one" never seems to go away.

The thing is also even though my confidence socially got better from my mid/late 20s onwards, it feels as though it's "too late" to socialise and stuff as though "everyone" has settled and been paired off by that stage and I also feel as though I regret not being this person who frequents the clubs and drinks and having one night stands in their early 20s which I was not really fan of anyway. I like to drink but I never got drunk and only went to at least one nightclub and always worried about casual sex with someone I don't know well and worrying about STDs even though precautions are available.

You'd be more happier if you didn't compare yourself to everyone else.