Dating supposed to be easier today why are there more single

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chris1989
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26 Jul 2026, 2:27 pm

?

I almost constantly feel like the only one left into my 30s, never had a long term relationship despite having been out with people and never got married and so on and feel really behind everyone else but those feelings still don't go away despite also being aware of millions of other single people out there.

I keep telling myself to get back on a dating app or something but I nearly always never get round to doing it. In the past, I used to scroll every once in a while and send a message to someone but I would get few likes, views or replies back. I seem to have this assumption that no one wants to date someone like me in their 30s with little experience. Sometimes I just think "what's the point?"



Mikurotoro92
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26 Jul 2026, 5:23 pm

The only reason why I am single again is due to the tragic perishing of my fiancé David, otherwise I WOULD be married by now!! !! !!



Lost_dragon
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26 Jul 2026, 6:50 pm

The problem with dating apps is that they tend not to feel real. Especially after you've been on them for a while. You get bored and stop checking. Conversations run dry.

By being on the app, you're both saying I want to date someone but nowt else. That creates a sort of awkward pressure where you're both gunning for the same outcome (to date) and it can feel forced. It doesn't feel like a natural progression most of the time. That can create situations that feel more like a job interview than an actual connection.

The trouble is, I think that when you approach it like that, you don't click with the other person and it feels like a personal failure (when it isn't). If you treat is as a win / lose situation instead of a more open 'let's see what happens with this new person in my life' then you're going to end up fatigued from it all.

In fairness, I know squat. Zilch. I've been on dates but I've never dated a day in my life. I keep telling myself to get back out there (whatever that means) and join all the apps again but frankly there a moments where that's as appealing as the thought of wearing a dress made of poison ivy. I'm the least qualified person in the room to be giving advice. Interesting topic though.


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Texasmoneyman300
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27 Jul 2026, 12:16 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
The problem with dating apps is that they tend not to feel real. Especially after you've been on them for a while. You get bored and stop checking. Conversations run dry.

By being on the app, you're both saying I want to date someone but nowt else. That creates a sort of awkward pressure where you're both gunning for the same outcome (to date) and it can feel forced. It doesn't feel like a natural progression most of the time. That can create situations that feel more like a job interview than an actual connection.

The trouble is, I think that when you approach it like that, you don't click with the other person and it feels like a personal failure (when it isn't). If you treat is as a win / lose situation instead of a more open 'let's see what happens with this new person in my life' then you're going to end up fatigued from it all.

In fairness, I know squat. Zilch. I've been on dates but I've never dated a day in my life. I keep telling myself to get back out there (whatever that means) and join all the apps again but frankly there a moments where that's as appealing as the thought of wearing a dress made of poison ivy. I'm the least qualified person in the room to be giving advice. Interesting topic though.

welcome back Lost Dragon.



Lost_dragon
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27 Jul 2026, 11:07 am

^
Thank you. It's good to be back. 8)


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Texasmoneyman300
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27 Jul 2026, 11:10 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
^
Thank you. It's good to be back. 8)

Netime.



Mona Pereth
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27 Jul 2026, 11:23 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
The problem with dating apps is that they tend not to feel real. Especially after you've been on them for a while. You get bored and stop checking. Conversations run dry.

By being on the app, you're both saying I want to date someone but nowt else. That creates a sort of awkward pressure where you're both gunning for the same outcome (to date) and it can feel forced. It doesn't feel like a natural progression most of the time. That can create situations that feel more like a job interview than an actual connection.

That's one of the main the problems with dating strangers generally -- whether you met them on a dating app or, back in the old days, via personal ads. It is, essentially, a mutual job interview -- and there are few things less romantic than a job interview.


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AroDweeb64
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28 Jul 2026, 4:50 pm

I'm only in a relationship because they are much older (I am 30 she just turned 49) and I was set up by a trusted family member through her salon. I would absolutely never use dating apps again and stopped around 2021.



chris1989
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31 Jul 2026, 11:29 am

A few years ago I did speak to someone from tinder I think it was. We were talking a while until she invited me to Snapchat which I hesitated to use and worried that when I tried to access it, stuff about viruses came up and so I didn't take it further and didn't speak to her again after that.



BrianWV38
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Today, 9:52 am

I would love to date. Women don't seem to have much interest in dating me :( My last date was in 2017. But my main, and really only, goal in life, is to get into a romantic relationship. So, I am still very much interested in dating. I use websites like this one to try and find potential dates :)



BrianWV38
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Today, 9:53 am

I would love to date. Women don't seem to have much interest in dating me :( My last date was in 2017. But my main, and really only, goal in life, is to get into a romantic relationship. So, I am still very much interested in dating. I use websites like this one to try and find potential dates :)



BrianWV38
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Today, 10:07 am

I don't really understand all these complaints about dating apps. They are just a way for people to meet each other online and set up dates. Back when I was younger I was able to get online dates. I was always fully smitten with my date right away. They always felt like the most romantic thing in the world to me. I always wanted to keep dating them. They never wanted to keep dating me :(

Now I no longer even get dates from online apps. But I am still looking for a girlfriend :) my DM's are always open if someone would ever like to chat :)



MakaylaTheAspie
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Today, 12:05 pm

BrianWV38 wrote:
I would love to date. Women don't seem to have much interest in dating me :( My last date was in 2017. But my main, and really only, goal in life, is to get into a romantic relationship. So, I am still very much interested in dating. I use websites like this one to try and find potential dates :)


Brian, if I may, this might be the problem. Women in your age bracket tend to look for partners that have a plan, an outline for how they want the rest of their lives to go. Your intentions are good but it's just not aligned with how the world works unfortunately.

The issue with dating sites is they can be incredibly superficial, I've personally never had any success dating in these environments. I've had better luck with attending community events and entering shared spaces within my interests. I met both of my partners through our shared interest in tabletop gaming.

It's easier to build a genuine connection with someone if you occupy the same spaces or have the same interests. Take it from someone with zero success on dating sites and multiple successes just getting to know fellow geeks.


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BrianWV38
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Today, 12:15 pm

Thanks, but a romantic relationship is my special interest and is really the only interest I enjoy talking about. I don't have hobbies or other interests. I get that I am different. That is why I spend so much time online looking for the right person. I know I am a bit unique. But I am certainly happy to answer any questions anyone has. My only real goal in life is a romantic relationship :)



funeralxempire
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Today, 12:20 pm

BrianWV38 wrote:
Thanks, but a romantic relationship is my special interest and is really the only interest I enjoy talking about. I don't have hobbies or other interests. I get that I am different. That is why I spend so much time online looking for the right person. I know I am a bit unique. But I am certainly happy to answer any questions anyone has. My only real goal in life is a romantic relationship :)


Very few people find desperation attractive and those who do are likely approaching from a predatory angle rather than a romantic angle.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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Today, 12:21 pm

BrianWV38 wrote:
Thanks, but a romantic relationship is my special interest and is really the only interest I enjoy talking about. I don't have hobbies or other interests. I get that I am different. That is why I spend so much time online looking for the right person. I know I am a bit unique. But I am certainly happy to answer any questions anyone has. My only real goal in life is a romantic relationship :)


My point is this: what happens once you get what you want?


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