Did you not have emotionally supportive friends and do now?

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I am doing well in life, and I am NOT doing well in life. Work and personal demands collided this week and I didn't have somebody to turn to. I have a spouse, BFF and some good friends, but mostly I am the emotional support for them, not vice versa. Even as a child and adolescent, I supported others emotionally, but I didn't receive much emotional support. Anyone relate? Did you change or accept this? I do use my resources: therapists, support groups, and when I had my breakdown yesterday, I called a mental health line... but I'm sad I don't have a person to turn to. Maybe I need to get out more and look specifically for a person more like me this way and not attract another "opposite". Thoughts?

I am sorry you feel that way. It must be tough. I am confused how your spouse is not emotionally supportive?

But I get it, my biggest goal in life is to be in a romantic relationship someday. But I understand that the grass is not always greener.

It's the big question, eh? Nature and/or nurture. I think it's in part our personalities and in part our rough upbringings. I "survived" childhood by dropping my boundaries and my spouse "survived" by walling himself in. We're trying to meet halfway.

In retrospect, I think there were people I could have called that day, but I had a "not-friend" freeze me out while I was distressed and vulnerable, and I subconsciously didn't want to take another risk. I talked to my BFF yesterday and she said that three years ago she would not have been able to support me well, but now she is ready (she's done the work - to be able to sit with feeling without personalizing). Plus I have a new friendship, and my friend had said to call her anytime; when I see her next I'll clarify if that includes hardships.

Wishing you find your romantic person!! !

I definitely suggest doing the work to be a good partner (e.g. DBT, conflict resolution) and finding someone who has done their work (or is willing). My spouse is just beginning this now. I have high hopes he'll be a quick study, but we both have decades of mutually bad patterns to disassemble and reconstruct in a healthier fashion. Hopefully all in good time.

Thanks for the response.

Up until 2007, I was the emotional supporter. I had friends who needed emotional support. I met two friends in 2007. They became my emotional support system.

"Wishing you find your romantic person!! !"

Thank you. I am 39 years old. I have been ready to be a great partner for twenty years, no takers yet

But I am putting myself back out there. My only goal in life is a romantic relationship