Overmoderation?

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Are you serious? Should I really put up a Pandora's guide to dating? I don't know how much I can talk for all women as I'm not your typical woman but there are certainly some general pointers I could write up.

It concerns me that the other advice is encouraging people to be shallow and use others rather than treat them with respect. If that is a mistaken assessment, then I apologise.

I think that if it's obvious that advice is bad that it will be obvious to everyone. If it's not so obvious, then perhaps it's not so bad, at least not for everyone. I don't think any of us is the final authority on anything. If you think that everybody should point out obviously bad advice, then I think you should say so.

I'm not so sure. There are a lot of people on this
site with little experience. Just as some advise the
use of certain drugs, which others haven't seen enough
to make a fair assessment of, some of this kind of advice
could get one into trouble.



Largely, this is what's being done. Along with indications
of why it is questionable. And no, I don't think that the
advice is bad for everyone. But, there are many here
who don't seem to desire what that advice would lead to,
as far as I can see.

My concern is that some people will be hesitant to share their ideas for fear of criticism. It seems to me that would be your concern too. I also feel that people shouldn't criticize without offering an alternative. I also feel it's not necessary to criticize in order to offer an alternative.

MrMark, are you talking about me here? I wouldn't be able to set myself up as an expert on all aspects of dating as it is an area where luck plays a large part. I've already pointed out where I think the advice is somewhat questionable for those aspies who want a bit more out of love than a brief fling.

I'm also talking from the point of view of a woman who has met pretenders in the past and got burned. If both people are agreed that a relationship should be just a brief fling or a bit of "fun" then that's fine but if one wants more out of it than the other, then people get hurt big time.

I'm also of the view that it's not wise to pretend too much because sooner or later you will be found out and then get into trouble. It's the same with people who pretend to be all sorts of things to get a job. The pretence is exhausting for most to keep up and then the real person underneath comes out.

If I wrote a guide, I would first focus on practical issues such as personal hygiene. basic etiquette and some places to meet people with similar interests and others to possibly avoid.

Sounds like good advice, and I'm talking about everyone.

Yes, the first issue worries me. I presume that
people who feel strongly about something WOULD
speak up, but that's probably just my lack of a
ToM in place. Still, criticism of the ideas is NECESSARY,
and when a person reveals enough about themselves
in their responses, even their own character comes a
bit into play. I'm not suggesting all out attacks, but
this is again added information.

As to the second, this is hogwash. Sometimes there
is no simple alternative. The case we're talking about
is one for which I have pointed that out, again and again.
There are NO pat tricks which will get you someone whom
you can last with. And if all you want is to get laid, well,
that can be done trivially, with a couple hundred dollars.

For the third, of course you are right. But, it's less convincing.
If there's some good reason for an alternative, then it is presumably
better than the other options. This should be pointed out.

Clearly we see this differently...
...and only egotistical SOBs, the ones who need to "win," need to convince anybody of anything. I say what I think, (and not about other, specific people,) and if you remain unconvinced, I'm alright with that.

Need? Perhaps. But, what point in making
advice, if no one is likely to see value in
it?

Indeed, often I state mine in ways which seem
only like jokes, unless someone presses me
to defend it.

...those with ears will hear.

And those with imagination don't need
to be told. What is your point?

My point is that I have faith that someone is likely to see value in it. That's enough for me.

Ah. But my worry is always more
to the bad advice, than the need
for good. I don't know why, but
it always seems that harmful action
is more base than inaction towards
the good.

Confused why http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=41512

was locked, at such a late date. Seems that the discussion
had gotten over whatever harm the title might have done,
and wandered here there and everywhere.

Indeed, if it was the title which was so offensive, why wasn't
the thread just cut, or the title edited?

I didn't lock it.

Late date? It was locked less than 36 hours after it was started.

Perhaps it was locked because the title was offensive and it had run it's course.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... 487#878487

Some of the responses which I've seen from one
mod, in particular, are crossing the line of what
is reasonable. Not only are they giving flat out open
warnings, but these warnings are directly going
to a specific type of speech. Either this is a free
forum, or a religiously protected one. And these threads
(there are more than one) are clearly being stated
as off limits to those of us who are not believers in the
ONE TRUE FAITH according to Quatermass.