It sounds like your family is sick. The more time you spend away from them the healthier you will be. Don't waste your time trying to figure them out or help them solve their problems; you can't. Just do your best to get away from them. Then you can become the person you should be. Find a supportive network; friends, co-workers, counselors, doctors. teachers. That's very important. How about a pastor? Do you to to church or know any?
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"Honey, would you buy me some boobles for my 40th b-day?" "No way, they're too expensive. Your own baubles will have to do."