I struggle to relate to my own gender.

Post Reply New Topic

Yep, I struggle to relate to most other women IRL too.


I'm basically within the socially acceptable bounds of female grooming, just enough to blend in. A little bit of makeup when I need to. And I like pretty stuff but tend to dress plainly, covered up and tomboyish so as not to get hassled.

I find it hard to talk for ages about a lot of things that are stereotypically presented as "normal" for women - like celebrities etc.
I can talk about clothes and makeup a little, but am more interested around the practical processes of making them/applying it than what's 'in'. I see no point to trends, and choose to remain oblivious. I hate it when someone thinks a lot about boyfriends and expects me to talk with them lots about if we have one, if we want one, how to find one, who could be one, ad nauseum.

I hate talking about diets. Unless the person has allergies and I have something useful to tell them about handling that.
Oh yeah, and gossip if it's the kind of girls who gossip. It's really uncomfortable, and makes me wonder what they might say about me. Also I can get caught in the middle.

It all sounds like such generalising there. That cannot be all that women tend to talk about.
There must be other things girls are into, but for some reason I'm not usually there with them to hear what it is. Somehow I just don't 'gel' that well with groups of other women and am not usually at their gatherings. I can come across as girly, but it feels fake. Maybe I'm just awkward.


Edit: I don't think all women talk about stuff like this - just that these topics stereotypically considered acceptable small talk, and it gets awkward fast when I don't have an interest in it. I tend to get along better with older women for some reason


Ermm.. interests? I can cook and sew - but only because I can't eat the food raw, and have to fix a rip in my favourite clothes
I read, and occasionally write. I'd do woodwork or metalwork as well, if I had an easy way to get the materials and I had somewhere to put half finished projects.

I've tried hanging out with guys but am not treated as one of the boys, as much as I'd prefer it. It seems I don't fit in neatly with males or females, because I'm not close enough to either. I'm not masculine or feminine, I'm a mix of both that's so complex that I can only be - me.

So I hang around on the fringes of different groups who don't bother too much about traditional 'masculine'/'feminine' interests or characteristics, trying to see which I fit better with. And I love to spend time with pets, animals don't care about all that complex human stuff.


I think the secret is to find the right people for you, and focus on doing activities you have in common rather than chatting.