would you sleep w. a man who used a prostitute?[women only]

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hale_bopp
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21 Oct 2010, 9:59 pm

zobier wrote:

Wow, OK.

I'm really going to go out on a limb here and hopefully don't get virtually castrated for doing so.

I was with a woman for 14 years, she was my first lover. We were married for the last 10 years and have two beautiful children together. So, a year ago I find out she'd been having an affair for the previous 18 months. First thing I did when I found out was go to a high-class (5*) brothel. This is not something that I'm proud of and not something I will consider doing again, but it was very emotionally cathartic. We've all been 'checked' since, and to be honest I was more worried about her partner (sleazy guy who'd slept with 100's of women, no protection) then I was about the escort (regular check-ups, picky about clientele, mandatory protection).

I left my wife, primarily because she was dishonest for so long - not because she slept with someone else.
I've only had one other partner since (3 month relationship, didn't work out). Oh, I blame the guy more too.

I provide this for whatever perspective value it has.

Seems justified to me.

spiders
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21 Oct 2010, 10:05 pm

zobier wrote:

to be honest I was more worried about her partner (sleazy guy who'd slept with 100's of women, no protection) then I was about the escort (regular check-ups, picky about clientele, mandatory protection).

Yep this is how I would have felt. In my opinion, prostitutes are better than pub sluts.

I'm sorry your wife did that to you. It would kill me inside if my partner did that to me, I would probably do the same as you did!

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21 Oct 2010, 11:28 pm

Crap my posts never make sense..

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menintights
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22 Oct 2010, 12:12 am

I know there's a difference between a man who used to sleep with a a lot of women and a man who used a prostitute, but I'm not particularly fond of either of them. And anyway, it's hard to believe either of them never had any STIs at all.

Quote:

What if it was that OR rape a girl who wasn't available? People have needs. At least a hooker is consentual.

1. Rape never has anything to do with "needs," it's about power.

2. Any existing "needs"--if we can really refer to them as such--do not need to be satisfied by another person.

3. Many hookers have a history of being sexually abused as children and generally had a crappy life growing up. I don't think anyone who's aware of this should in good conscience advocate using hookers. It's really lame to take advantage of people who had such a f****d up past and argue that it's their "choice" they're doing what they're doing while all these people (i.e., men) who turn to hookers are absolutely free of blame.

silvercat
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22 Oct 2010, 1:56 am

The first boy I slept with had lost his virginity to a prostitute at 20. He thought that it would make him more experienced the second time.
It didn't, it was a really awkward experience for the both of us.

ediself
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22 Oct 2010, 3:29 am

zobier wrote:

not going to castrate you

i would never react like this because the last thing i want when i'm emotionally hurt is sex, but i get why you would do that.
As for the question asked....yes, as long as it stops when we're in a relationship . i always get tests for both when i enter a serious relationship ( which happened a grand total of once) so.....whatever. it's not like i was a virgin before meeting him.

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22 Oct 2010, 3:48 am

menintights wrote:

Many hookers have a history of being sexually abused as children. I don't think anyone who's aware of this should in good conscience advocate using hookers. It's really lame to take advantage of people who had such a f**** up past and argue that it's their "choice" they're doing what they're doing while all these people (i.e., men) who turn to hookers are absolutely free of blame.

I have to call you out on this one, it's completely ret*d to overanalyze things like that. Maybe while we're discriminating people based on their pasts we can lock up children who are social outcasts to prevent school shootings. At the end of the day it's two consulting adults that are having sex not a victim and a predator.

I've been with plenty of sexually abused girls in relationships and they are plenty capable of deciding what to do with their bodies. They don't need their right to have sex revoked or guys to reject them based on their history because some self righteous chick on the internet thinks that abuse victims shouldn't ever get laid.

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emlion
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22 Oct 2010, 4:13 am

Pistonhead wrote:

menintights wrote:

This. Sure some of them don't have a choice. But I don't think you can generalize it to all of them.
Especially when you're reaching the high-class call girl level of prostitutes.
I think sometimes it's just a mutually beneficial thing for both parties- and i know all the feminists will be all 'oh women shouldn't sell their bodies la la la they're worth more than that.' but, they're also allowed free choice to sell their bodies if they want to.
I think i might have tangented off of the point there but whatever.

xxZeromancerlovexx
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22 Oct 2010, 11:49 am

as long as he doesn't have STDs.

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hyperlexian
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22 Oct 2010, 12:30 pm

thanks for your responses so far. look like it is settling in at about 2/3 and 1/3 but there's lots of time left in the poll. a reminder to the men that this is a women-only thread please. thank you.

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industrialx
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22 Oct 2010, 2:22 pm

No, but probably only because I wouldn't be able to give blood because of it.

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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22 Oct 2010, 2:49 pm

Yes, I would. In fact, I have.

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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22 Oct 2010, 2:58 pm

menintights wrote:

Quote:

What if it was that OR rape a girl who wasn't available? People have needs. At least a hooker is consentual.

1. Rape never has anything to do with "needs," it's about power.

2. Any existing "needs"--if we can really refer to them as such--do not need to be satisfied by another person.

3. Many hookers have a history of being sexually abused as children and generally had a crappy life growing up. I don't think anyone who's aware of this should in good conscience advocate using hookers. It's really lame to take advantage of people who had such a f**** up past and argue that it's their "choice" they're doing what they're doing while all these people (i.e., men) who turn to hookers are absolutely free of blame.

Wait... are you seriously saying any woman that has been sexually assaulted is no longer capable of consenting to sex?

I better go tell my husband he's a rapist, then.

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zen_mistress
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22 Oct 2010, 7:03 pm

No.

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hyperlexian
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22 Oct 2010, 11:04 pm

it seems to be hovering around the same percentage still. thank you for sharing!

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Shebakoby
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23 Oct 2010, 12:43 am

oh hell no. Too risky. Who knows what kind of STDs he got from them?

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