Do not understand what is happening

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hmm

huge explosion.

Is there any warning at all or does it just hit out of nowhere?

Does it have a colour or texture? Sometimes creating a detailed physical description for something intangible like a thought or emotion or pain can help defuse its intensity.

I guess my anger/frustration - where I get to the point I don't care about my own safety - is more like a block in my thinking. I can't figure a way to fix the problem, sometimes there isn't a fix. And then all my sensible thinking just stops.

What are you thinking or telling yourself when you do the scarring thing? How long does it take before you stop? Does the pain help you stop? Or does the pain feel good?

Slightly off topic - often I don't know what to say - and I say a whole bunch of stuff that may or may not be useful - anyway - pretty much my first post in here (and a lot of other places). Sometimes all I do is embarrass myself and annoy other people - but even that is a learning opportunity. Sometimes people get annoyed for reasons of their own and not because my post wasn't relevant. Sometimes what I write is really helpful.

I sometimes get a warning.

I sometime feel really out of breath and my chest feels tight.

My ears pop, as it happens. Then i go bad. When i do hurt myself it helps it to stop. The way I do this is by punching something. The pain helps me to come out of it. It stops.

I dont really say much. I just try and rationalise what is happening. This does help sometimes and does sometimes stop me from punching things. Sometimes.

Aliens you can IM me about these things I can help you.

You may be on the wrong medication. You should see a specialist about it.

Hmm

That seems a bit like the tight throat I get sometimes when I'm stressed, sad, humiliated, caught doing something wrong, told off, criticised, frustrated, angry.

And then I usually cry - which is embarrassing, humiliating, etc - makes things worse.

So when I feel the tight throat - I usually drink something - like water helps. And then I start on the breathing technique if I can. Count to ten, slow things down. It isn't good. I'm still not good at dealing with this.

Is there some way you could use pain that isn't scarring. Like slightly overdoing a stretch. Or squeezing? Or getting a punching bag and punching with a lot of energy. My brother used to take a brick hammer to a barbeque - the combined action of destroying something and the physical effort calmed him down, not that bricks or punching bags are always conveniently located.

Do you ever get snapped out of it quickly by someone saying something that makes things ok - or is your explosion pretty much out of nowhere?

I can go from the strangled throat crying thing, to laughing at myself for such stupid thinking and back again instantaneously. Haven't got good control but I know it can be done. The strangled throat is always triggered by something stressful.

Whatever you do, though, it's probably not a good idea to go off the meds too quickly or else you get withdrawal effects. So try taking going down by like 10 or 20 mg every few days.

it is possible to have both AS and ADD, i know some people who do , some people believe its all along the same spectrum...they present differently

Kate

know what you mean i used to be on meds one force me to go on these alavara [can't spell] pills [not saying what they are for] for the rest of my life
another one i took made me so dizzy and light-headed that i would have thrown up if i didn't make it into my bed quick enough. [thank god i only to that once]
the rest of the pills were removing the "tv" in my head and i went to some pretty serious lengths to save it and save torch 2.
the recent pill that did this forced torch 2 to end i couldn't get mom to stop the pill fast enough no matter what i said or did by the last few days i was getting desprete panicing every 5 seconds and barring myself in my room.

oh and this "tv" i speak off is awesome i call it a tv because it's like watching an animated movie or show in my head or i can have somebody discribe something to me and i can piece it together a rotate it or make it walk around if it can or go inside it if i can. it is also the way i keep torch 3 running i do so by discribing events in my head to myself and then i get a visual and i can even make the characters talk and with their own voices as long as i hear what their voices sound like i can then figure out what they would sound like saying other stuff. i told this to my mom and she said that she can only picture stale images and nothing animated, me if i want to picture saix going beserk and then have a fight with uh marly then i can actually watch the fight in crisp flawless animation. and it seems my tv has good graphics too, i had to say.
but anyway why would someone want to let go of an ability like that or allow something to take it away without a fight.

but my point is pills are bad.
oh i forgot the pill that made me eat constantly throughout the day and normally i eat 2 meals a day sometimes even 1. needless to say my weight jumped a little and i didn't like that.
but yeah pills=bad

^licks^

aliens,. i know you are on holiday right now. I know what its like coming of of ritalin, and i am asuumeing this is somthing similar. i am sorry to say but i have hounestly not a clue to say. all i can say thought is that remmber lion and jammie and if you need somone to shout at i don't mind you pointing it in my direction.

i have the joys of the post 18 system soon.

jammie

hyper_alien, it might be an idea for you to contact the national autistic society.

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopo ... 256&a=3367

they provide services for adults with autism, and should probably have something in your area. if nothing else, they should at least be able to offer you advice regarding support, healthcare and suchlike and may have counsellors you can go and speak to.

you can email them for advice.

[email protected]

might be worth a try.

I think I have replyed to your thread aliens but I just want to let you know that I really hope that nothing wrong is happening to you. I don't want you to die because you're off your meds or something like that. Be careful aliens.

Hyper -Alian...my heart really goes out to you...our bezarre societys belief that 18 is some "magical age" that makes you cappable of doing every thing on your own is absurd....Its like a parent throwing there kid in the swiming pool to teach it to swim....

I dont know if I acctually read that you were self-harming? I used to cut ,from 16-26.....it became an addiction and way to cope with stress...the longer you do it the worse it can get and the harder to stop...it can become an ingrained ritual if you let it(iI include punching walls)I know it can be effective...thats why we do it...duh...but it would be best if you can develope new habits to releive the anxiety before it becomes to ingrained.....for me doing excercise until Im in pain does help abit...release indorphins and is a socially excepted form of self abuse...biking as fast and as long as I can until totally exhauseted....yoga and breathing and sometimes just sqeezing foot or hand until its numb...not great coping mechanism...still self abuse but at least no scars to pick at...

I have also been considering CBT....I had Rational Emotive Therapy in the past and it was helpful at the time...though I could only do it because I was so sick of my life and basically excepted that I was willing to be brainwashed.....(brain was VERY dirty)...Every time I resisted something my therapist said I should do...like "positive self talk",which I felt was a lie...My theripist would say "would you rather be right or less miserable"or"You have tried things your way for 26 years....hows that working out for you"..sarcastic but true....

Now I'm still struggling with the idea of going back for a new infussion of "lies that will make you feel better"...but I know Im not doing so good by myself,so I might try it....

Good luck on your quest for some peace....I wear a button sometimes that says...."If your not outraged, your not paying attention"....sometimes we have to learn how to pay less attention,I guess.

Hyper -Alian...my heart really goes out to you...our bezarre societys belief that 18 is some "magical age" that makes you cappable of doing every thing on your own is absurd....Its like a parent throwing there kid in the swiming pool to teach it to swim....

I dont know if I acctually read that you were self-harming? I used to cut ,from 16-26.....it became an addiction and way to cope with stress...the longer you do it the worse it can get and the harder to stop...it can become an ingrained ritual if you let it(iI include punching walls)I know it can be effective...thats why we do it...duh...but it would be best if you can develope new habits to releive the anxiety before it becomes to ingrained.....for me doing excercise until Im in pain does help abit...release indorphins and is a socially excepted form of self abuse...biking as fast and as long as I can until totally exhauseted....yoga and breathing and sometimes just sqeezing foot or hand until its numb...not great coping mechanism...still self abuse but at least no scars to pick at...

I have also been considering CBT....I had Rational Emotive Therapy in the past and it was helpful at the time...though I could only do it because I was so sick of my life and basically excepted that I was willing to be brainwashed.....(brain was VERY dirty)...Every time I resisted something my therapist said I should do...like "positive self talk",which I felt was a lie...My theripist would say "would you rather be right or less miserable"or"You have tried things your way for 26 years....hows that working out for you"..sarcastic but true....

Now I'm still struggling with the idea of going back for a new infussion of "lies that will make you feel better"...but I know Im not doing so good by myself,so I might try it....

Good luck on your quest for some peace....I wear a button sometimes that says...."If your not outraged, your not paying attention"....sometimes we have to learn how to pay less attention,I guess.