Self diagnosis & options

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The vast majority of the NT world have problems to some degree with social interaction. Friendships are work for everyone and they are never plain sailing. Everyone hurts other people to some degree and everyone is hurt by things that other people say. We seem to think that if we were not in the in crowd in high school there is something majorily wrong with us, if we do not have thousands of close friends there is something majorily wrong with us. Everyone has hobbies and interests and we are all obsessed about them to some degree, some more than others.

You simply have to decide what it is that you want. All the people I know who have joined support groups for this type of thing have ended up hurt by them. They expected to find best friends and instead they found human beings, that said one thing, forget about it and hence let the other person down. You are going to do much better by seeking the support of a therapist that you feel you can work with, who helps you and understands you. That is not always easy to find, but if you want to work on relationshpis the best way is one on one with a trained professional.

I have Autism and while I have an incredibly high IQ I am also profoundly disabled by my condition. Sensory issues are so profound for me that I eat very few foods, cannot handle touch, noise, lights, people being close, I cannot cook, clean, go out alone, wear many types of clothes, etc, etc. Just becasue I have a intellectual understanding of my condition does not mean I can function alone in the world, without significant professional supports in place. For me a diagnosis is not an option it is essential for me to be alive, just to eat, have clothes on and walk outside the front door, yet I can still have intelligent conversations with people, I just prefer to do so in writing, and mix up everything that people say to me, and can rarely answer questions that are not intellectual facts. Social chit chat does not and cannot exist in my world.

Again, Thank you for the replies. I must apologize for not actively participating more here. I want to, I really do. I approach it that way and yet once I get here I just feel gripped and tend to back off. Much of me wants to explore and then again it seems the forces which hold me back assert their dominance with the closeness of an old favorite pair of shoes but with none of the comfortableness one would expect there. Just a stalking black nemesis that knows me too well and anticipates my every move and sees my bid to escape, and the thugs are there waiting, blocking the way. It's like suddenly being emerged in extreme dark depths with the crushing pressure and blackness and I just have to get back to, well, just disengage. I want out. I am completely aware of the "normal" lives swirling all around me (I am from a BIG family) and yet nobody seems to realize how alone I am in a crowd. At the same time I know I am the extra freak mistake piece in the puzzle box, an error from the factory that will never fit.
I have a hard time taking advice from those who are younger, markedly younger, than me.
At the same time it's like being 17 forever, if that makes sense. edit- I am 43 BTW.

-Best regards.

I'm another in the same boat. I just took my first online test for Asperger's a few days ago and 'passed' with flying colours. Zap!! Just took the one I found here too. Passed again! I've also spoken to a mental health counselor that specializes in child autism (a personal friend) who seems to feel my self-diagnosis is correct. The thing that's the most depressing about all of this is the part about keeping a job.

However, I feel a bit guilty posting about my problems. I'm one of the lucky ones. This diagnosis came only after another one for Savant Syndrome. Yes, I'm one of the fortunate one in ten Aspers that got all of the extra bonuses. Until I came here I just counted myself lucky that I didn't have some far worse form of disability as the price for my talents. Many savants do.

For me the talents didn't manifest early, but my social disabilities did, so like the rest of you my school years were a bullied hell. But after that it was almost all uphill. I dropped out at 16 and managed to make friends with some 'rough' kids and outcasts, admittedly allowing them to take advantage of me somewhat. But it paid off when I developed a bit of an outlaw rep and some of my former tormentors actually began to fear me. Buying a black Harley later on and wearing leather didn't hurt the new image either. Never underestimate the value of being able to imtimidate NTs.

Then my musical abilities began to manifest and I joined a band where the pecking order depended on talent instead of social skills. I found that in fact people expected lead guitarists to be a**holes, and of course I had no problem fulfilling their expectations. This earned me a living and gave me a sex life for twenty years, until I just got tired of touring. I began to develop a phobia about the endless hours we seemed to spend on the highway, especially at night.

Once off the road I found I still had problems living alone and supporting myself. When my father got sick I ended up moving back home. My father, I now understand, was a savant too. He was the most unbelievable card counter I've ever seen. I never saw him lose a poker game. They would have thrown him out of Vegas in an instant. He always seemed to know where all of the cards were and the exact odds for what would come up next. I never really thought about it, thought he learned it the normal way. But he was a high school dropout with no higher math skills. Knowing what I know now, it was a gift that just came to him, like his incredible piano playing. He passed away and left me to manage on my own last month, and probably never knew the source of his gifts.

So I'm now 55 years old, too old to go back out on the road I think, a job really for the young. I'm glad I know this now, it explains so much about my life, and my father's. I'm looking for a job too now that he's gone, and now I know to avoid jobs that require social skills like the plague. My two best skills are music and writing, I have been nationally published in a motorcycle magazine. But earning a living with either seems problematical now. Of course I have the memory thing. With me it's all about reciting history. Handy if I can ever get on a TV game show. But I'll have to do something.