What was helpful to you once you got to college?

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I should not have used the words boot camp.

That sounds terrible. And I would never send my son to such a place.
I am thinking more along the lines of structure with explanation
and guidance.

That sounds pretty good.

That is very perceptive. Yes, I rather like the situations where it's acceptable to approach strangers and I tend to do rather well in them. Maybe because the interaction is more formalized and things are more stated rather than just assumed and picked up. And maybe also it's important to me and I make the effort, try things, get feedback, try new things (without overtrying), so yes, I put the effort into it and it kind of goes well.

I think some of it is resume padding. And the person thinks of themselves as having multiple goals, 'Yes, I do want something for my resume, but it will also be a good group.' And that's fine, we as people have multiple goals in many situations. But what seems to happen is that as the semester goes on (and maybe as early as the second month!), the person's focus narrows, they rather resent taking on the work and just want to discharge the obligation and that's the end of the matter.

And then it seems most of the people going to the group are going because they want something interesting to think about, not because they want to meet people. Kind of like, people go to a movie and will talk about it with the people they came with, but not with the other people there in the theater. To a lesser extent, this is a college "group"!

You know, my first semester way back in Fall 1982 (age nineteen), I enjoyed the activity fair where people had set up tables. And I thought about setting up my own table to survey people about environmental issues and politics, esp since I was taking Environmental Health. Well, to do this, I think you need to get permission of student activities, have a faculty co-sponsor, have three students . . . Well, right there, I don't want even the potential embarrassment of explaining to some administrative type that I don't current have three friends . . . and if I did, I might not need the group.

In the buildup to the Persian Gulf War in 1990, and when I went back to school in Spring of 1991, I was involved in the anti-war movement. it was very difficult work, I felt good about what I was doing, I'm fully aware that I'm in a minority of this issue, but then and now, I do think I was in the right. We were thinking about starting another student group, and they sure didn't make it easy on us, I remember thinking there's so much bureaucracy, the government can start and finish a whole war in the time it takes us to form a student organization! (kind of made friends in the anti-war movement, but not really long lasting friends, people shied away because I was different and/or people were overwhelmed both intellectually and emotionally, all the same, this part hurts, too)

I guess the thing to do is to form unofficial groups, easier said than done.

Was it the Special Ed college support system for students on the spectrum?

I've never heard of a "special ed" system at colleges, but there is disability services. If you want to take advantage of the disability office, you need to find a school with good support in this area. I went to junior college for a bit and there is almost zero support at community colleges. You also need to know what services you want to ask for (extended time on tests, etc) because if the support isn't good they won't suggest services for you.

Was it being prepared for college?

Being prepared for college will take a lot of stress off the first few weeks of school, which are probably the hardest. If he's living in the dorms, have his stuff prepared. My biggest advice is take the hardest classes in highschool you can handle so college isn't as much of a shock.

Was it living alone? with others?

Whether he lives alone or not depends on him specifically. There are several AS students at my school who are doing just fine (two being my roommate and I). After my first semester of living in the dorms I've found I need to either live alone or someone I can communicate with easily...living with another person with AS has been a bit of a trip for me ;]

Was it your department and major?

Definitely not. I'm still undecided on my major, as most students are.

Was it an advisor?

No. My advisor helps me with schedule changes, and that's about it. Your son will have to be responsible for knowing degree requirements, graduate school requirements, etc. Advisors don't always know these things.

Was it a friend? Teacher? Classmate?

I went into school not knowing a soul, but I have made friends along the way. My friends, teachers and classmates have been great but I don't think they've been the most important thing.

What went wrong? What do you wish had been done for you?

The most important thing I could have done is procrastinate less and learn better time management skills.

I have to add...the most important factor was the college I chose. When I was at the junior college I came out with a great GPA, but I was fairly miserable the whole time I was there, didn't make a single friend, and was stressed a lot. This year I'm at a small liberal arts school. It has a great community feel and they really focus on their individual students. It's just awesome

Even though I really, really did not want to go to a local college and live at home, I think that having to do so helped a lot because it saved me from being the "weird" girl who didn't go to parties or participate in social activities. Since I had to commute to school, and most students lived close to the school, a good excuse when I did not feel comfortable with going to parties and such was that it was a long way (gas money and other great excuses).

That aside, being able to make my own choices made a huge difference. My mom would not let me work prior to going to college. However, since the only way I could pay for gas and expenses was to work, I was able to get a job on campus through financial aid. This not only helped me to gain some independence, it gave me the ability to learn how to manage money without having to worry about being homeless or not having food to eat. Working on campus also connected me with teachers and other students without me having to socialize to meet them - a lot easier when you meet people as a part of your job.

What helped me the most, however, did not come until my last couple of years. Through some interesting circumstances, I ended up becoming a part of a club at the school. In this club I was able to meet a lot of new people and learn to stretch my boundaries. The group leader encouraged me to take a leadership role, which really kick-started my social learning (which had pretty much been non-existent up to this point). This lead to me becoming a part of a summer program and learning how to be more flexible (impossible to do the work without giving a little), as well as how to cope with unexpected events. That summer I lived in a house with 10 other people, and it was a miserable experiment as far as my social skills were concerned. However, it taught me that it was important for me to focus on sharpening my skills of perception (understanding what others are thinking or how they take me), as well as learning how to talk to others when I am misunderstood instead of taking things personally and writing them off.

I wasn't diagnosed when I did my undergraduate degree but I benefited enormously from the student counselling service at my university. The small size of the department I was studying in helped a lot too as I was forced to get to know people because there were so few of us.

I'm currently doing a master's degree in the same university. I am registered with the disability service now and am receiving weekly sessions with an occupational therapist which is helping immensely.

The important thing is to use the supports that are available if you need them and not be afraid to ask for help. College can be hugely rewarding but also extremely challenging for some of us on the spectrum.

Actually, the university library was. It was a quiet and controlled environment, where I didn't feel overwhelmed by sensory stimulation, the lighting wasn't bad either.

Also there were many books, newspapers and magazines on hand, I didn't feel right if I didn't read at least three daily newspapers per class day at the library.

The study centers were very quiet vs. the Student Center, so I felt I was able to concentrate enough to do my homework.