Help, women only please.

Post Reply New Topic

If she is unhappy with it, it most definitely is her problem.

But WHY is she unhappy with a normal libido?

If an anorexic is unhappy with a normal weight, should they be encouraged to diet?

It's not normal for her. It has changed. If she is unhappy with the change, then it is significant.

Yes, her libido has changed. Changes in libido are normal. Her current libido is also normal.
Her reaction is, IMHO, less normal.

Consider this:
As I age, my hair will turn gray. That will be a change. It will also be normal. If I believe that I am a worthless person because I have gray hair, that will not be normal. I could solve the problem by dying my hair, which would be okay. But I could also solve the problem by figuring out why I have such irrational and unhealthy thoughts, which would get to the "root" (pun intended) of the issue.

I'm suggesting LostAlien get to the root of the problem.

A dramatic change in libido in the space of 6-8 months is not normal decrease due to aging. It suggests a traumatic event or a sudden hormonal change. Since Lost alien did not mention going through menopause, a change in hormonal status could be indicative of a significant health problem.

honestly, it sounds to me like there is underlying, non-physical issue. it doesn't hurt to look into the physical part first though, just to rule it out. i lose my libido on both anti-depressants and any birth control pills.

emotionally, maybe start with closely examining the details of your relationship. has anything changed? are you feeling some sort of difference between you, like with arguments or more coldness or distance? have either of you become suspicious or discontented with each other?

also, it may not even be something that is within the relationship, but it could be an external factor. as in, have you moved, changed jobs, or had any difference in your friends or family lately?

because you've been together so long already, my advice would be to talk openly and ride it out. be honest that your libido has changed, and discuss your concerns about it. a multi-year relationship can weather changes like this, but without frank communication things could deteriorate.