Turkey Thread

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I know, I'm sorry, perhaps I should have put it under the banner. my deepest apologies, I must have been possessed.

Well I must depart now, I can't wait to see what this thread will be like when I'm back!

have fun!

i'll have to depart soon as well, I have been glued to the sofa and scorched by the laptop in my lap.

For those review fanatics, you'll know what I mean :

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November;

"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three,
"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;
"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said
"Christmas is coming"

What a lovely poem!

haha indeed Here come some more:

Enough Already, Ode to a Turkey

Oh how I love thee with your white and dark meat
Thou art the very best
But because of you, I can’t see my feet
My navel is two feet from my chest
To diet and lose so I don’t wobble no more
I would be very willing
It would be impossible now, because somehow
I finished four bowls of filling
My wife pointed at me and said look at him
He sits at the table, like a dog he begs
I stare at you and your magnificent breast
Can hardly wait to get my hands on your legs
Enough already, I’m on my knees
Give me some stuffing and some black eyed peas
Sweet potatoes, corn and a salad I’ll toss
And bury your butt with cranberry sauce
Oh turkey, my turkey, you’re the one who rocks
Now I’ve gotten so fat, I can’t put on my socks
My love for you was fleeting
And we are finished I fear
But I’ll fall in love with another turkey
Same time next year.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu6tnM7Oscs[/youtube]

^ Good idea, turkeys should also have a nation- oh...species anthem!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy2P0WZdHBQ[/youtube]

Last edited by Booyakasha on 10 Jul 2011, 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

When I was in Girne in 'Northern Cyprus' and I was just coming out of a pastizzeria, listening to the Turkish military band on parade striking up with this song as they finished I was very moved by it.

ETHEIR THAT or some young hen just strutted by in her teeny, weeny, polka dot bikini...