Practice your Shakespearean insults!

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Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great.

Be sparing in thy discourse, thou misbegotten flaxen abomination!

Thou paunchy pottle-deep clotpole!

Thy fleas hath more sense than thou hast!

The sounds of thy digestive expulsions hath more sense and cleverness than any words of thy speech.

Thou shouldst be a fluffy creature, and yet your farting expertise forbids me to interpret that thou are so!

Thy paint and wallpaper of thine home hath crumbled and peeled away since thy last pot of chili con carne and its results.

Methinks thy mind is befoul'd with base musings!

Thy mind, such as it is, hath barely the space within it to contain even one of my smallest base musings.

Are you a stone or a chain attached to anchor?

In any case,
much must be made of it
with lesser minds

in case you falter,
there are many repartees
you could have said
but lettuce leaf that behind

behind you are
before you, aspire to be!

there is no failure in this
only failure

and thus your'e aspirations lead to this
leap into falling
fall into leaping

success and failure are THE Commands that are imposed upon us!
Humans aren't involved in this equation!

Got preachy at the end and couldn't stop!

"Spend word for word with me, and I will soon bankrupt your wit."

Form "Two Gentlemen of Verona"

Ouch!





If someone said that to me I would have no choice but to say:

"[Thou] leatheren-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth tongued, Spanish pouch!"

From Henry IV, pt. 1

Foul varlet, get thee hence!