Reality check: how much should parents organize homework?

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I think teaching a kid how to organize themselves in general is a parental function.
Organizing schoolwork is just one part of organizing oneself in general to get things done.
Other parts are household chores, shopping trips, meetings with people, etc.
These are all parts of teaching a kid to become independent adult.
It is better that they learn from their parents in childhood and teenage years and don't expect school or work authorities to teach this to them later, as school and work will become increasingly competitive and expect them to know how to organize themselves as a basic skill.

Organization is a functional skill needed for school and therefore something schools are required to teach to kids on IEP with these kind of issues. You may not believe it ought to be, which is of course your right, but I do think it is something schools are legally obligated to help with.

It does not mean parents have no obligations in this matter, but schools are supposed to accommodate/help.

Schools do help, but I think skills should be taught mostly by parents from early age, then continuing in school, with accommodations in times of most need like early grades when child is young or transition from grade school to junior high, but reduced from high school to college and beyond. The reason is that most employers are not accommodating of employees without basic organizational or EF skills. If a kid has EF deficits, it is critical that the parents more than the school really focus on teaching EF skills throughout childhood. Otherwise, that child may not realize their potential due to lack of EF skills later. If I were a parent, I wouldn't count on the school to teach these things, because schools have to spread attention to many kids. It is better for parents to do the utmost to prepare their kids for adulthood. Developing EF skills is more important than social skills, in my opinion. Someone with poor social skills is viewed as awkward or socially inept, but can realize their potential in some environments like academia where weirdos are common. Someone with poor EF skills will have difficulty realizing their potential in most environments.

In this case, parents organizing homework seems like perfect chance to teach kid how to organize own homework, so parents don't have to continue in grades 10, 11, 12 and beyond. School doing the same seems unreliable, since they are busy with many kids and wouldn't have so much time for one kid.

I think this advise is spot on. It seems a bit "dangerous" (I couldn't think of a better word) to rely on others (including the schooling system) to provide your child with the skills necessary for survival as an adult.

This is a skill gap that the school should be addressing in the IEP from the earliest time that deficiencies in executive functioning are evident.

I agree that parents have to be active participants in this, but the schools must also work actively to help students overcome dysfunction in this area. To leave it entirely up to the parents is not consistent with FAPE requirements.

My parents started teaching me EF skills when I was 3.
It's because they both like order around the house and organization in doing things, especially my mother.

That's great.

Do you recall what they did?

I can't remember anything, but my mother told me she started teaching me to put things away, like my blocks back into the box after I finished playing with them, then the box back on the shelf.

Pushing too hard for something that's beyond a child to give doesn't work. I am wondering if part of this is the school trying to get him to be more organized than he's ready to manage. If this skill is developing, he might be better off in the long run to just let him learn at a slower pace, rather than his getting frustrated and rebelling.

Does (or could) his IEP call for reduced homework or extra time available to turn homework in? Getting anxious about failing only makes staying organized harder for someone with executive functioning problems. And if he can do meet the expectation, great. If not, is there a teaching assistant in any classes who could check he has assignments? Or even asking his IEP specify teacher prompting to write down homework? I think it sounds like the OP believes her child is doing his best. Not everything can be taught when we'd like our childre to do it. If they aren't ready, I believe we need to trust our instincts about can't versus won't and encourage our children to be and do their best--- whatever that may be.

The parents may not have the skills or knowledge to be particularly effective in teaching this, so I think as a matter of principle SPED programs should note that executive functioning skills are an important part of a student's development and make them a priority.

The schools may not have the skills or knowledge to be particularly effective in teaching executive functioning skills, so a prudent parent should work with the schools to try and address this need and work independently of the schools with their child to ensure that they are as prepared as possible for adult life.

What we have been doing is focusing on particular related issues as part of the IEP. For example, my son tends to look at homework as an undifferentiated mass and catastrophizes about that. Encouraged to work on it by himself, he ruminates for hours and ends up slowly repeating "I suck" over and over under his breath. I have tried to help by showing him how to look through the homework quickly and then break it into manageable chunks, but this has only been effective when I lead him through those steps. What has been much more effective is working with his aide in a study period to chunk the homework into small sections with clearly achievable goals.

It works best when we are working in cooperation with his teachers and the people in his program. It doesn't work at all when he is told "you need to do this" and it is actively destructive to him to say "you need to learn this or you won't have the skills you need for adult life."

That and the OP is trying to verify what needs to be done so she can help her son, and the school is the impediment by not having the information easily accessible and b/c she has to rely on getting emailed responses from teachers.

Her son is clearly not ready to be responsible yet for recording all homework and assignments. In order to scaffold this, it has to be easy for the parent to verify how her son is doing in that regard. She will only find out the three assignments he misses per week (or whatever it is) after the fact. That does not help her teach him how to get his work done.

Many of us have been out of school a long time, and don't remember how hectic it is to keep track of this stuff. Whether it is electronically (Not what we had in my day) or on a homework page in an AVID book, or a school planner, there are some large issues with getting this information down. If you are trying to write in a planner, you may also have to write smaller than your handwriting prowess is designed for, and it is easy to miss things and make it illegible.

If your kid is mainstreamed that means that you have a limited time before or at the end of class to get it down. This time is usually short b/c the teacher is trying to cram the lecture in, and there is not a lot of time for her/him to give the kids to write/type this info. If you also have time-management issues getting to and from classes on time this is very hard. If you do not have time, you have to try to type or scribble it down while the teacher is lecturing and then you miss important content.

My younger brother had the same issue when he was in regular school. There's no way my parents could organize it for him, because he wouldn't write it down or remember it even long enough to get home and tell them. And the teachers were absolutely no help - no matter how much my parents asked, they wouldn't tell my parents about his assignments until it was too late.

So my take on it is that no, it shouldn't be the parents' responsibility. At the very least, if the kid has EF issues, teachers should be required to notify parents about all homework assignments their child is expected to complete. With some kids, if the teacher doesn't do that, no amount of parental organization will help the child.

The problem is that kids in SPED are generally considered by teachers and school officials as people to get through the system, not as people with potential who should be educated well or taught skills to be used in future pursuits of any value. Also, teachers don't have the training or skills themselves to deal with mental disorders involving severe EF deficits or severe social deficits that are outside their expertise (nor should these be within their expertise, since they are teachers, not psychologists or other mental health professionals). These are two big reasons why parents need to pick up slack and do utmost to train their kids in EF, regardless of whether it is fair or not, or there is some policy or not, etc. It is too dangerous to leave this to the school. With some social deficits or sensory issues, people can get and keep jobs if they show talent in their area and do their jobs well. But EF deficits disqualify people from many jobs, and if they get the job, they often cannot keep the job due to being too disorganized, slow, not initiating things, unreliable, unable to prioritize tasks, going off track and doing useless things for most of the work day, etc.

When I was in 7th grade, I was at the peak of EF problems, and my parents called the teachers each week to check that I was turning in assignments and being organized at school, while they made sure that I was doing assignments at home, but a disorganized kid will often do assignments and fail to turn them in. I knew nothing of this at the time, they only told me later. But I was very EF-prepared for high school, and had no problems there, and my parents never called the teachers at high school.

Actually, AVID was an option offered to us and I turned it down because it was presented as being very rigid, and I was worried that DS would not be capable of using a system designed for NT minds (they were very clear about not making exceptions for any kids about anything.) Have you had experience with it? From what parents are telling me, it seems like I made a poor choice - because it sounds like AVID is doing all of the things I'm asking for.



This is the thing: if that's the reason the school is refusing, I absolutely am going to make them do it - as I said, I'm concerned for all the kids like my son who just need a little EF support but who will be a total train wreck without it.

SPED teachers are expressly supposed to have that kind of training, and the social skills are being taught by trained speech teachers and a trained social worker. I'm not really having any difficulty with the regular teachers - it's the department that expressly is supposed to be doing this work. Keep in mind that we're talking about a top public high school with 4000 students, which means that based on national averages, about 3-700 of those students will have an ASD or ADD/ADHD and will need these supports (as well as the many other disorders that come with EF and social deficits.) If they aren't trying to address this problem, that is a LOT of people who aren't getting FAPE.

I'm not going to let my son fail just because the school is failing - but I'm also not going to back down on this issue because I also care about all the kids who aren't related to me.

AVID is what my district uses in middle school and beyond, and yes, it is very rigid. I am not sure if it is even optional here, anymore. It was when it was first started, but I think they rolled it out to everyone. I home school, so I am rolling it out here in stages, and use it to help him organize with a rigid system, but without the consequences that the district would have. I don't count it as a grade, which is what my issue would be if we were still enrolled in public school. The reason I don't like that, and think it is an issue, is because it is like taking the worst thing that depresses grades in all the classes and making a special class for it, which has the weight of a real class. That includes nitpicking over how neat the notes are and all of that. I am aiming for good enough, if you know what I mean. I don't need a big old F or if lucky a D messing with grades. It may be worth it in the long run for some, if it works and grades are better in HS, as a result, when it counts; but it is risky.

That grade emphasis frightens me, and I don't know what happens to kids who cannot make it work. I think it has the ability to teach EF, but I am not sure if it a method for everyone. Also, once we get into higher grades, I doubt the ability of one binder being able to hold everything, even if you get a pricier one, and I suspect that the rings will give and make a big mess. And then what?

My goal is to use it as an organizational paradigm, but without the rigidity and see how it goes just because I do need something. Right now, we are mainly in the exposure stage. He likes his "One Binder to Rule Them All" and he doesn't really have to write down homework anywayb/c it is the same thing each day of the week, right now. The test will be when he has to do more challenging EF things, which will start next year.

Phew! OK, those sound like my exact concerns. At our IEP review, I'm going to find out if they will make accommodations to AVID to make it possible to work for my son.