cooking for the socially unorthodox: powertool deliciousness

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Fuzzy tells Zanne, "Pepper is an adjective, the carrots are the noun. We select our verbs with the heat settings, and the length of cooking is the tense of the sentence."
Fuzzy continues, "Now unlike the typical word salad, this one begins outside the mouth, and only later enters it. The tongue is pleased just the same."

"Now you know how to cook"

The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plains! I have it!

Copied these from a site a few years ago...really good....& easy. I do them every summer when the garden takes off.

Microwave Bread & Butter Pickles

2 cups cucumbers, sliced thin
3/4 cup onions, sliced thin
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup white distilled vinegar
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. mustard seeds
1/4 tsp. celery seeds
1/4 tsp. turmeric

Mix everything together in a 2 qt. microwavable bowl and microwave on high 8 to 9 minutes, stirring twice during the cooking time. They will be crisp and onions will be translucent. If you have a smaller microwave you may need to increase the cooking time a bit. (I use couple of big pyrex bowls and make a couple batches at a time).

Makes one pint...keep stored in fridge.

fried egg on top of cooked spinach on top of butter on top of baguette.

or

1 can corn + 1TB olive oil + 1 TB balsamic vinaigre

or

sautee mushrooms, add wine, add pasta sauce, add more wine. Put on pasta. Drink the rest of the wine^.^

I also make AWESOME oatmeal...but that's the extent of my cooking skills. My next tast is cooking black beans. SPEAKING OF....if anyone has a recipe for black bean soup, I would love to have it...

"Freedom" Toast

blend with a beater: 2 eggs, (verb) 1/2 cup milk, (noun) 1/4 tsp salt (adverb)
(dash of adjectives like cinnamon, nutmeg, tablespoon of frozen concentrated orange juice.)

cut in half : 6 slices stale bread ( nouns)

Heat frying pan or griddle moderately hot,
(spray a shot of two of olive oil in a pump bottle, or PAM to grease the pan.)

pick up the bread on with the fork, by half slices, Dip both sides into the egg mixture and put on hot griddle.

brown on both sides, using pancake turner.

Serve hot with syrup or jelly

Merle


Cuz cookin's like religion is,
Some's called and somes ain't;
And recipies no more make a cook
than sermons make a Saint!

(quote from "Joy of Cooking")

OWWWWWWWWWWWW

I just put the power drill through my hand!


Okay. Dh just told me to stay out of the kitchen and quit trying to help him.

I do a salad a little like that with black beans...

Black beans (rinse well)
corn
diced onion to taste
fresh tomato diced
clove garlic (crushed)
ground pepper
fresh cilantro

Dressing is just good seasons made with balsamic vinegar.

...needs to sit overnight for best flavor.

try mixing an egg with chopped spinach (noun - offensive - should not be spoken aloud in front of children) (I use frozen - I buy they type that's in small portions not 1 block)
cook in microwave until the egg is set

Black Bean Soup

get a 4 quart pot and fill up to 3/4 with water and add 1 lb black beans bring to gentle boil adding water as needed to keep the beans covered.

meanwhile, saute in fry pan : 1 chopped onion, a few smashed garlic cloves, 8 slices of bacon sliced a couple of times the other way until bacon is crisp

drain par boiled black beans ( 15 minutes of gentle boiling) through col lender and fill to cover beans with hot water and put back on to gentle boil, dump in onion and bacon mixture and gently stir , (always add less salt now and more salt later )

let gently boil, making sure the beans are covered with water and stir a couple of times, but always folding the water into the beans.

chop couple tablespoons celento OR 1/4 tsp cumin and mix into 2 cups sour cream and let set.

when beans are ready they will be a bit thick, but dip it up and put a dollop of the flavored sour cream and relish the hot of the beans and the cold of the sour cream.

serve with whole wheat or black or brown bread and never be hungry again!

the perfect thing to have bubbling in a crock pot but don't transfer it in until you have par boiled the beans. par boiling the beans and getting rid of the water will REDUCE THE GAS PRODUCING ENZYME and make the beans user friendly.

bon appetit!

Merle


_________________________________

Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
(I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)

goodness, apart from the expense, how is that working out for you?
Oh, wait, I see a scene in "As Good As It Gets" where Jack Nicholson is arranging his plastic forks and knives and his quirks are being served by only Helen Hunt!

But seriously, I am interested in how restaruant food is working out for your health? Is it a specific place you go, or fast food or what? I am certain others simply eat out, too.


Merle


______________________________
Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! (Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!)

What are you doing with a power in the kitchen during cooking lessons?

Dh get a grip of this lady

Open the packet of ramen. Place the noodles in a pot, along with the sauce mix and just enough water to float the noodles. Heat to boiling, stirring whenever you feel the need. When they're boiling, turn off the heat and go read WrongPlanet.net for a while to let the ramen cool. Pour it into a bowl. Use a fork, because eating ramen with chopsticks is silly.

My other great recipe:

Log into PapaJohns.com. Select something that looks tasty (I particularly recommend the deluxe spinach alfredo pizza - the one with the bacon bits). Place your order, and keep an ear out for either someone knocking on your door, or the dog barking like an idiot (nobody in the neighborhood is scared of him any more!).

Wow, there's some good recipes. I'm definitely going to try a few, especially the salmon one by Calandale.

Quickie Quiche

One nine inch pie crust (home made or store bought's okay)
3 eggs, room temp.
1 cup milk (nonfat works, whole is nummy, and wicked awesome is cream)
3/4 cup cooked chopped asparagus
one small ripe tomato sliced thin
shredded mozzarella (at least 7 oz )
sage (fresh or dry)
black pepper

Take raw (if storebought, pull out of freezer, and let defrost ten minutes), and starting with shredded cheese, layer cheese, then asparagus, then more cheese, then tomato, then more cheese until it's just slightly mounded above the crust, but only just.

Then in a mixing bowl, whisk eggs and milk together thoroughly until almost frothy. Add sage (at least a tablespoon and a half dry, or a 1/4 cup loosely chopped), and pepper to taste, and give it a few more whisks. Then pour into pie crust carefully until it's filled to the rim.

Put quiche on a cookie sheet or pizza pan, place in 350 degree F oven, and bake for 45 minutes, or until nicely browned on top. When done, pull out of oven and let set ten to fifteen minutes.

This is good for dinner, or breakie, or lunch, and keeps fairly well for three or four days.

(serves six)

Hot Tuna Sarnie
tin of dolphin free tuna in brine or springwater (sunflower oil is nasty and greasy)
wholemeal bread
wholemeal mustard
small shallot
mayonaise if you must...
salady bits like spinach leaves, lettuce

open tin, put in bowl - add large quantity of mustard and any mayo you would like and mix in nicely.
dice up shallot and throw in (nearly wrote up there...) to bowl again mixing in nicely.

Spread liberally on bread (about 1cm thick all across) and apply salad as liked.


CousCous "Zinger"

1 Cup of CousCous
Jar of mixed pickled chilis
Jar of Sun Dried Tomatoes
Button Mushrooms
Spring Onions
Basil
Cherry Tomatoes
Black Olives
Feta Cheese

Boil kettle and pour over cous cous in a heat proof container.
Dice Spring onions (maybe 5 or so), mushrooms and sun dried tomatoes to a size you don't mind eating.
Take out 3 red chilis and 2 green and slice leaving all the seeds intact.
Cut off some of the feta and break into small pieces.
Add all ingredients to Cous Cous and stir in, finally add the cherry tomatoes and olives whole, and sprinkle with finally cut fresh basil.



Pesto Tuna

Cous Cous
Tuna
Jar of Pesto
Stock Cube

Boil kettle, add water to heatproof container and add stock to it. Pour in cous cous and allow to soften. Put tuna into cous cous and apply liberal amounts of cous cous. Stir and eat.


Pizza Toast

Cheddar Cheese
Jar of Red Pasta Sauce or Passata
Bread
Tobbasco to taste

Semi toast bread, pour on red sauce, grate on cheddar cheese and grill.
Apply liberal helpings of tabasco until hot enough.

Other variants add tinned mackerel, mushrooms, olives

fini~

Here's another staple:

Sautee lentils in oil (garlic ect)
serve over angel hair.

Works with peas as well.

I heard if you eat hair you get hairballs... (ie whats angel hair - I can maybe guess ultra fine noodles or something but am too lazy to google it)

Don't you need to soak lentils before use?