I feel like most women hate me

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Many women will assume any guy who just starts a conversation, apropos of nothing, is looking to "get laid". Mostly because that's a huge area of focus for lots of guys. Unless you're dealing with a woman who's actively interested in flexing her sexuality, this is a serious turn-off for women. We want to be seen as people first, and potential sex partners later...sometimes much later.

Any guy who gives off a desperate, lonely, want-to-get-laid vibe is going to get shut down before he can raise the topic. This is an unfortunate result of many of our societal constructs and systems. Men who get a lot of sex are seen as winners, alphas, whatever - so any man with a competitive drive (or an active libido) will be trying to get as much as he can. This makes women feel hunted, cynical, and valued only as life support for a vagina. We generally don't like it.

Note, Mark, I'm not saying this is you. I can only speak from my experience as a woman who used to do a lot of dating in her misspent youth. Dating is risky and often ends badly for autistic women, but it seems it's at least easier for us to engage in some dating than it is for many autistic men.

It just feels like the primary reason to go out to social places is to make new friends or more. I am always wondering if I am missing out on a potential connection but at the same time my anxiety and shyness will kick in and that makes it even worse because I'll feel like not only am I missing out but I am now too scared of being rejected.

I don't see women as living sex toys. I know they are human beings just like me. Yes, I want to experience sex but only if it's done for the right reasons such as it being between two loving people or people who want to have fun.

But how can I get a girlfriend if I don't date?

Maybe you are; I think it's best to do things for your own sake, things that you want, but then again the things you want seem to be the same things that would prove your bullies wrong, so I suppose you're doing it for the right reasons, too.

I know this is a "mantra" of mine.

But it's better to not think of getting a girlfriend as your first priority.

It really is.

I'm not a hunk. I'm short, and I've been chubby most of my life. People tend to think I'm weird and nerdy. After I put "finding a girlfriend" in the back burner, I had more success with them.

Agree with this strongly.

You have to like yourself. You have to find a way to be happy with who you are, even if you hate the situation you're currently in. If you don't like yourself, how can you honestly expect someone else to like you?

I've always worried about people who say they cannot possibly be happy unless they're in a relationship. Can they not see the immense pressure this loads onto anyone who might consider a relationship with them? You can't make another human being responsible for your happiness. (I'm not saying it's unfair or you shouldn't do it, I'm literally saying you can't. Happiness occurs inside your brain - nobody else can make you happy.)

If you're trying to sell a house, you have to present it well. If you can't afford to remodel the kitchen or have a hot tub put in before listing it, that's okay - but clean it up. Mow the lawn. Maybe a fresh coat of paint on the shutters...make it look like the person who lives there gives a sh*t about the place.

Similarly, if you hope to attract friendship or romance, you have to present yourself well. If you can't afford to move, or get a college degree, that's okay - but care about yourself. Get a haircut. Wear clean clothes...make it look like you give a sh*t about yourself.

If you won't care about yourself, it's very unlikely that someone else will.

Same here. While the several relationships I've had with women only lasted a few years, none of them were initiated by me. I have become quite content with my own company at the age of 55, and don't actively seek a partner. Maybe I'll find the right women in the future; maybe I won't. But I am not trying to make a relationship the focal point of my happiness.

Aside from not getting any attention from women, I hate that I can't succeed at the hobbies I wish I had special talents in. I used to hope I would be in a rock band but I struggle with playing the guitar. The biggest stumbling blocks have been the difficulty I have with reading sheet music and I can't play by ear despite hearing thousands of different songs. I also didn't have a band to jam with growing up and I don't live in an area where music is truly appreciated. It's just seen as something you put on in the background or you play something cliche on the acoustic guitar at the local dive bar or you dance to it at the ghetto dance club.

I used to think maybe I would draw comics or something related to drawing but my drawing ability never progressed above an amateur level no matter how hard I tried. I also started to get mental blocks that would last for years and I feel like it's impossible for me to ever get better. A similar thing has happened to writing for me. I wanted to be a creative person but I wasn't encouraged or supported and my potential was beaten down.

I shower daily, I try to keep my hair cut short but the thinning makes it hard to style, I dress casually, and I wear deodorant but because I am allergic to anti-perspirants, it doesn't last long.

Most straight guys with a sex drive will see women as sexual first being as we see first long before we talk and can’t really know someone as a person before speaking.

So how do guys make female friends if we can’t start talking to them?
I don’t desire just sex so I want to know the woman as a person. A gf to me would be my best friend. But I have a super high sex drive so I guarantee I’ve had sexual thoughts about a woman before I talk to her it’s a fact of life. I think sexually about a lot of women I see through my day it just happens I feel bad for it after:( I don’t think that should make me a bad person though it’s biological I guess.

In my opinion you are going about this the wrong way. Who are these bullies to you? Sounds like these people are 100% irrelevant and should be ignored and forgotten. I would just suggest attempting to force yourself to erase them and what they say from your mind the best you can. It is literally counter productive to think about them, it does you no good at all. And when you do drift back into negative thoughts, just remind yourself that these thoughts are counter productive even in your own disadvantaged situation, instead think about the future and something positive you want to strive to accomplish.

I would highly recommend watching the documentary I posted below so that instead of striving to live to prove the bullies wrong, you can strive to live for something truly honorable and good. In this day and age people need evidence to believe in the truth. God exists and is waiting for people to pass the test of life. Watch the documentary below, if the evidence convinces you that it is the truth, I would suggest reaching out to a Christian group or I highly recommend listening to Paul Washer speeches by searching him here: www.sermonaudio.com

Here's the documentary, watch it. It may change your life:

I know my resting facial position does not look particularly happy....also though when I am out and about I tend to be a bit nervous so of course I wont have a big smile or super open so socialization demeanor.

I've actually been told I look pissed off sometimes. A lot of it is because I have thick eyebrows and my head is constantly slumped forward. My job requires a lot of mental processing so when I am done, I feel tired and that shows more on my face.

My inquiring mind wants to know - do men honestly think they don't have "resting b!tch face"? I call theirs "resting bastard face".

What happened to not wanting to reply to my posts? And no, before you ignorantly accuse me, I don't use the term "resting b***h face". I've never heard it used before until it was posted here.

Reminds me when I used the phrase "sleazy bastard".

If I was a woman; on average 10% smaller with 30% less upper body strength than a man, with a 1 in 4 chance of being beaten and a 1 in 6 chance of being raped in my lifetime, I'd probably not be all sunshine and smiles to men I don't know.
If men don't like "the f**k off look", it's up to them to change the dynamic; not women.

Which is what 99.9% of redneck men are. They only care for women for sex but outside that, they are extremely sexist. My mother's husband says he can't stand female drivers, especially Hispanic and Asian. He's also friends with a guy who wrote a song about being a "bigger b***h" than his ex-wife.