Question for males: Do you feel emasculated by Aspergers?

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Careful there ... don't provoke the "I can't get a girlfriend" crowd!

If those guys don't want to know the truth, that's their problem.....

Ahh... but they'll start post-swarming with false claims about "What Women Really Like" and "Why Women Don't Like Me", and pretty soon there's nothing but guys playing the "More Miserable Than Thou" game with every post.

May God Forbid!

I feel like I have some insightful things to say in this regard, but I know I will just be told that I’m wrong by a young twenty-something guy who apparently knows women better than I do and the negativity will continue...

Whatever does emasculation mean in this day and age anyway? Everyone wants to be treated well and not be seen as less worthy for being quirky and different. Finding someone with similar interests will make this a nonproblem.

You're wrong Twilightprincess.
Self-fufilling prophesies, aren't they just so much fun!?(I'm kidding)

I don't feel emasculated by Asperger's. I have "feminine" interests I don't think that's Aspergers I think that's just my personality. Being shy and timid I guess could be a result of Aspergers but, my environment contributed to that as well.

Are you saying cause you’re female you’re able to speak for all women?
I’d know more about women in my area then you would being as you haven’t met any of them.

You see it as this guys telling me how women are and I’m a woman and I know how women are
But we see it as she’s saying all real experiences are invalid.
Like some nt telling you your real experiences as a aspie are invalid cause they haven’t experienced it.

Quite frankly I don’t care if some woman says men care a lot about sex, looks and mean, cause it’s true sure I’m not that way and some other men aren’t that way but most are. Me not being that way doesn’t invalidate their experience nor the reality that a lot of men will just try to get sex with women then dump them. “Men just want one thing” is a valid saying about most men, so why can’t the same be true for most women wanting a guy with his life together? Doesn’t mean you are or that all women are.
The tons of unemployed single men and tons highly employed single women are real.
Social media is full of women complaining about the lack of quality men or real men.
It’s depressing. Society pushes this mindset. Some women ignore it, but most of the, are in relationships already as there’s no shortage of low paid or unemployed men.

The feeling I get is you and some other women here tske people sharing their experiences about women or taking about other women as a direct attack on yourself even though said people aren’t saying you are that way Is that right?
To be honest I don’t think you should take offense or defend against something unless it’s said about you. Why defend women you don’t and never will know who for all you know are superficial, and likely wouldn’t like you for being different. I don’t get this one for all and all for one mindset with women, such a thing doesn’t exist with men. Men do not defend other men. If some lady says most men just want sex, men will side with her and agree. It confuses me. I’ve never had group loyalty to my gender.
Do you honestly think most women don’t care at all about a mans job, car, and home status? A quite search on internet can show differently.
I’m not saying you’re that way or that all women are that way. But western civilization is very superficial society based around buying things and tons of them. The dream of being upper middle class, owning a home, owning 2+ cars, etc. that’s “the American dream” so a lot of women don’t want to be with a guy who means they will never be upper middle class and be able to buy all the things society says they need. We need to change our society but that’s run by rich elites. If you don’t buy things they don’t make money so to them a poor man is unless so they tell society not to date poor men, so men will work hard to make more money to spend to appease women. I dont know how anyone can say USA isn’t a highly superficial society based on Materialism. This goes beyond just dating and relationships. Look at how poor people on welfare are treated? Look at how future generations are becoming less social. Look at how people fight over which brand of phone, tv, console, makeup etc that you own.
So it’s hard to find a woman who’s single who will be ok with being poor rest of her life and not having all the things society says we need and want. Then having to like how I look, and share same interests and be within 10 miles of me.
More likely to win lottery.

Last edited by sly279 on 22 May 2019, 1:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I’m not saying that I speak for all women, but I do think I might know more than one single young man.

I frequently hear on here that all women want this specific perfect guy, and that’s not the case. We are more diverse than that.

Your chances for a relationship are much better than winning the lottery!

I’m not trying to defend myself. I don’t feel like I’m being attacked personally. I’m trying to help out depressed, single guys in this community...

I’m just very puzzled. Why must I have some ulterior motive in mind?

Well I'm not the world's most masculine man. But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man, and so is Lola.

I can't say I feel that. Because of how people with Asperger's have above-average intelligence and my voice sounds formal enough to sound like a man in his forties along with my esoteric interests (broadcasting, telecommunications), I've often been given the Halo Effect by some people I work with.

Would you like to dance? I have a dark brown voice ...

Why? If anything you’d know more about yourself. But say I’ve met and interacted with 3,000 women and you met and interacted with 1,000.
Who would have more knowledge? The female who’s met less women or the male who’s met more women? This is like The Who’s more knowledgeable a woman or a male doctor who specializes in female medical.
How many women have you met and dealt with and what reason do they have to be honest with you about the kind of guy they’d date and wouldn’t date? Are they afraid of being seen as superficial? My experience has been a lot of women will say one thing to family, friends but do another.cause they don’t want to be seen as bad. Probably why women will ask” is if its bad to want to dump the bf they love dearly because he hasn’t gotten promoted in while, or cause he’s happy working a low paid job. They don’t want to look bad. Just as a drive abuser doesn’t walk around telling everyone they use drugs. Just like a woman abuser hides that fact from everyone. So social media, dating sites is where people are honest and rarely in person( this seems to depend on the group of friends, if all the friends agree about not dating low paid men they’d be open about it such as the group of women at my old work) women at new work aren’t that great either since they open talked about and saw nothing wrong with stringing a guy along to get free dinners and tickets to events.

So ask yourself this who has more knowledge the one with more experience or the one who is born a certain gender? I dont know you’re experience, you don’t onow mine, but it comes across as you saying you know more just cause your a woman. But that lonely guy could have interacted with way more women then you and thus would know more.

Um nope I’ve neber seen anyone say all. You see women, most women. A lot of women, and then interfere all women , from that. This always pisses me off. I NEVER MEAN ALL WOMEN, NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER. And from what I have seen neither has any one else on this forum. So unless some one says “all women” it shouldn’t be taken as all women or an attack on you. Keep in mind most men have sisters, mothers, grandmothers, female friends, etc if they meant all mothers they’d be condemning them too and I find that hard to believe. So men/women(women say things too)who say most, a lot women should be taken at their work and men/women and ones who say women should be assumed to mean most not all. I always meant most when I said women. It’s just easier to type women then type most, a lot ,some every single time. I bet it’s same for others especially when upset. Do you ever just say men? Or do you always have an adjective in front of it a. Mind you not all aspies are good with grammar and spelling.

Doesn’t feel like it when you take into account everything that would have to line up perfectly to get a relationship.
She’s have to be fine with me being in disability and only making $700-1000 a month while a lot of women want a middle class guy making 5,000+ a monthly. Meaning I make 1/5 of what all of women make. Thus she’d have to be ok being poor and never owning a car.
She’d have to be fine never owning a home, probably renting an apartment for rest of our lives.
Possible never having kids or maybe just one and it being tough

Then she’d have to find me attractive, I’d have to find her attractive
She’d have to be ok with guns, and centering like me, as liberals can’t stand I’m pro gun or voted for trump and will vote republican as a long as they support guns. Conservatives can’t stand that I’m on welfare, and poor and support taxes. Or that I vote democrat if they aren’t anti gun and support my other ideas.
^see how tough being centrist is, I’m hated by both and this goes heavy into dating now thwt everyone refuses to have anything to do with people who don’t support their side.

Then she’d have to be ok with me playing video games, watching animal, cartoons. I like my little pony. Rainbow dash is super cute.

Then she’d have to have similar sexual drive and desires as that can be a relationship killer for most people it seems.

Then she’d have to be ok with me having aspergers and adhd, and the difficulties that come from that. I’m nit normal, socializing while desired is a challenge for me. If have some odd quirks.

She’d have to be not a feminist, I’m for quality but anti feminism

What of the odds of a woman being ok with all of those?

Heh! Sure! That's one of my favorite songs by the Kinks.

I was born emasculated. (I only have 1 testicle). Wanna make something of it?

The other testicle....like the other kidney....more than makes up for the lack of another testicle (and kidney).