So......

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Making a claim for ESA is easy but you need to be signed off from work by a dr. Once you have the dr's note it's just a case of picking up a form from the front desk of a Job Center. The sooner you get the ball rolling the better as your benefits will be backdated from the time that you ask for a form.

Being signed off for a month for anxiety and depression is hardly worth it in your case. If the dr asks you what you need then you can ask for 6 months, so that you can access the support that you need.

Edit: you can get an envelope from the Job Center if you want to get a note there quick, otherwise you should be able to do the rest online or by phone.

I don't know anything about ESA. I don't want to phone. I tried that once many years ago and it was a horrible half an hour phonecall and the lady was really annoyed with me as I could not give yes or no answers, and she was screaming at me down the phone. I never want to repeat the experience. I don't like doing anything official online. But I have a phobia about jobcentres. Uhmmm. One step at a time. What is ESA anyway?

Employment Support Allowance

I may give it a miss for now as I am not ready for employment yet. I will recover first and then do that when I am raring to go again...

You can still earn up to £100 (they don't tell you that) once you are signed off but otherwise you are free from any obligation to work. Good luck deciding what is right for you.

Thanks. I don't have a clue what all the technical things are. Signed off... I am not signed on to sign off yet. No idea.

I will wait for the doctor to contact or maybe I should contact the doctor in a few days. See how things go.

Earn up to £100? A year? A month? A week? I was really strughling to earn about 1 to 2k a year. (Not worked it out. Maybe 2.5k max?) I just could not do any more hours the way I felt, which is why I was struggling. But recently I found that I just could not do any more when the last temporary job ended.

I am a bit annoyed with myself for being in this position as I want to try to be as financially independent of any benefits as possible. But life has hit me hard recently...

Well. Looking on the bright side is that I am really getting to grips with what is going on in regards to my body/mind etc. This has been a lifelong ambition... To find out why I kept having so many difficulties that I could not explain and drs could not trace. For years I really, really wanted to be examined by a vet as vets have the ability to work things out without the animal talking. As I was never able to explain myself to doctors. Never able to open up. I didn't even understand myself so what hope did I have of explaining my feelings to others? Trying to expain symptoms....! Oh gosh.....

Well. Now I know what is going on, and this is the only explaination that has ever fit how I feel, and I have tested it for myself for a reality check. When being partially shut down trying to avoid a full shutdown I was able to do a test. This is how I tested myself so I could finally show myself if the symptoms match partial shutdowns which effect the motor side of my body (They also effect other areas but are less of a concern).

While in this state (I had been waiting to try this out as a test)... I would try stimming to see if it worked. Here is my theory. If it works I know 100% that they are partial shutdowns. If stimming does not make any difference then I know that it HAS to be either allergy related (As so many times I have been tested for all the obvious tjings like anemia, diabetis etc, etc, etc...).
So I tried it. I shook my hands violently, even though when having these symptoms makes me want to stay still and lie down. (I actually often have no choice BUT to lie down!)
The results? Not only did stimming work, but it worked so well I could hardly believe my hands! I mean... How come? I just could not believe what was happening!
So this gave me the confirmation that what I was exploring as a theory which all "Rang true" was actually what I had discovered and not just another wild goose chase. I was so relieved and thrilled to realize this. Everything just slotted into place!

I always wanted to see Mr. Spock or Deanna Troi from Star Trek so that they could use their mind-melding and telepathic stuff on me!

I'm really glad to hear that all the baffling discoveries you've made about yourself during your time here are now slotting into place and starting to making sense to you. I used to truly fear for my sanity before I worked out how all my odd experiences were connected to each other. And discovering the amazing benefits of stimming, too! For decades, I used to force myself to stop doing it (I always had the urge). Even when I knew no-one was watching, I hated myself if I caught myself flapping or pacing. No wonder I could never cope with stress very well - I already knew the best thing to do, but I just made the stress worse by stopping myself from doing it!

And yes, ESA is very stupidly named - it's mostly for people who can't work or who need special help to get into work (that's the theory, anyway).

I don't get what ESA is? You said that it is stupidly named? Do you mean it is similar to a temporary sickness benefit?

^ Yes; ESA took over from what used to be called Sickness Benefit. There's no time limit, so long any other income and savings aren't enough to support you, but they check every once in a while to make sure that your condition is still present (even if it's a permanent one like autism!). The main difference is that with ESA, you get put into one of two categories; either the "Support Group", which means you're not expected to look for work and you don't have to sign on at the JobCentre; or if your condition is seen as less serious, the "Work Related Activity Group", where you have to see an adviser just a couple of times a year to plan a back-to-work strategy (I've had two of those meetings; and so far, they've just said that I should try to get some autism support before looking for work again.)

With me I think I come across as a normal human being as I think I look norma. Though my youngest brother says I come across as far from normal. My other rother does not see this and thinks I am normal like he is. Not sure if he is normal or not. No idea! Haha. But my youngest brother picks up on things. For harmless fun he often copies some of my ways. He is soo accurate at mimicking people.He could easily go on stage if he wanted to but he has never pushed his tallents like that. Only to family and close friends.
But when he mimicks me I realize that I am not quite an average character! Haha! Even though I may seem to be one?

One thing though. If I am told I have to sign on for work when I don't feel in myself that I am ready for it... As at the moment I know I am not as I am feeling fragile so I know if I try to get a job I may do it for a short while but I would be handing in my notice to prevent myself from becoming suicidal as a way of getting out of the position that I can't cope with... But if they say I am ready when I am not I won't fight it. I will just leave. I have survived until now selling my possessions when I have a bill. I have more things to go to sell that I don't use. I will do that as for me it is the support I need to avoid stress which I am aiming for rather then money. The money prevents the stress so I don't have that side of the stress to deal with. It is not in itself that I think "I must need money" if you see what I mean? Is more I want to help my Mum from struggling when we have to cut down on food or electric to survive, or when we face the difficulties of living where we live which has quite a walk to the nearest bus stop. My Mum can't do this anymore. She used to do it three times a day about 20 years ago in her 40's to 50's. Gosh! My age. I can't believe my age. Wow time goes fast! Am I really that age?