28 Oct 2019, 3:05 pm
28 Oct 2019, 3:37 pm
Trogluddite wrote:
The way you describe your memory problems and mind going empty sometimes sounds a lot like me. Your story about the car is a lot like me too. I've always had to rent somewhere to live in my adult life, and I've now moved address about 15-16 times since I left my parents' home. The number of times that I've absent-mindedly walked miles to the wrong address because I've temporarily forgotten that I moved house is embarrassing - given how stressful I find moving house, you'd think it would be very hard to forget. Thankfully, I've always handed my old house keys back to the landlords, otherwise I might just have let myself into someone else's house!
Well, firstly, you are obviously having a lot of such problems right now. If you feel later that you're making a good recovery, you can stop your claim at any time if you feel that you don't need that support any more - and the DWP will review your status every once in a while anyway.
Secondly; even if you weren't experiencing shut-downs right now, it is reasonable to ask for this support because working is acting as a trigger for these spells. As such, there is nothing fraudulent about basing your claim on your worst days, because if you were forced into work, it would be very likely to trigger such bad days - and though you find it hard to identify sometimes, the build up of anxiety which leads to the shut-downs is disabling in its own right. Finding everyday things much more difficult to do than most other people is how they define "disability" - it's not just a black-and-white matter of whether you can absolutely do something if you have to, the consequences of doing it matter too.
Finally, you mentioned earlier in the thread about the feelings of "nakedness" when you feel that you cannot mask, and of feeling a kind of "shame" when the mask drops and people see your autistic side. I know very well how that feels, and it is a very strong feeling because it's the only way we've ever known to think about life since we were very small children. There is another effect of this, which I think you also feel very strongly, as do I - a very powerful aversion to asking for help (for example, you have said before how hard you sometimes find it to ask your Mum for help with phone calls). Having endured your problems for so long, with only what help your family can provide, it feels "normal" to just force yourself through it, because it's the only way you have ever known - and it is something to be proud of.
However, as Domineekee has already said, your posts here suggest that you really do need this support, even if only for a short time while you get through your assessment and get yourself back on your feet. The DWP may or may not decide that you are entitled to it, but I see no reason at all to be ashamed of asking for it - you have quite obviously tried your hardest for decades to make things work without bothering them.
Mountain Goat wrote:
The problem is, do we fill out forms as if we are going through a better day, or do we fill them when we are struggling? As I understand that if I answer one way or the other, I will either not be entitled or I will be but could be accused of obtaining it by deception if I start to recover or am having a good day where I feel up to doing things?
Well, firstly, you are obviously having a lot of such problems right now. If you feel later that you're making a good recovery, you can stop your claim at any time if you feel that you don't need that support any more - and the DWP will review your status every once in a while anyway.
Secondly; even if you weren't experiencing shut-downs right now, it is reasonable to ask for this support because working is acting as a trigger for these spells. As such, there is nothing fraudulent about basing your claim on your worst days, because if you were forced into work, it would be very likely to trigger such bad days - and though you find it hard to identify sometimes, the build up of anxiety which leads to the shut-downs is disabling in its own right. Finding everyday things much more difficult to do than most other people is how they define "disability" - it's not just a black-and-white matter of whether you can absolutely do something if you have to, the consequences of doing it matter too.
Finally, you mentioned earlier in the thread about the feelings of "nakedness" when you feel that you cannot mask, and of feeling a kind of "shame" when the mask drops and people see your autistic side. I know very well how that feels, and it is a very strong feeling because it's the only way we've ever known to think about life since we were very small children. There is another effect of this, which I think you also feel very strongly, as do I - a very powerful aversion to asking for help (for example, you have said before how hard you sometimes find it to ask your Mum for help with phone calls). Having endured your problems for so long, with only what help your family can provide, it feels "normal" to just force yourself through it, because it's the only way you have ever known - and it is something to be proud of.
However, as Domineekee has already said, your posts here suggest that you really do need this support, even if only for a short time while you get through your assessment and get yourself back on your feet. The DWP may or may not decide that you are entitled to it, but I see no reason at all to be ashamed of asking for it - you have quite obviously tried your hardest for decades to make things work without bothering them.
Thank you Trogluddite.
