Can’t stop feeling depressed

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That's a really powerful and hopefully beneficial insight to have.

I really dislike Friday and Saturday nights. They magnify my feelings of isolation.

Same here Marknis. Situations never change for me as I lack the power to change them (mind) as well as circumstances. Then the stagnation gets a person sad too. endless.
But what if that's just the way, like how Schizophrenia and DID is usually lifelong and just 'managed' with no real end in sight?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Many schizophrenics, via medication, get better and become productive.

Many people who are depressed get better.

I think the cure for depression is to live long enough to die.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down, Blooie.

I know it’s difficult for you sometimes. You have many things coming into you at once.

I fear I will become like alone99, a poster on another forum. He’s about to turn 60 and he’s never had a girlfriend nor sex and he’s called either a “whiner” or a “loser” by others.

I have a similar fear, where I'm afraid that I will never have the courage or the means to get out of where I'm living now. Will I be an old lady and still living in a dirty environment? Of course no one can give me the answer or just hand over the keys to a nice apartment. These are things I have to accomplish on my own.

Idk if you are aware but it is kind of insulting for a person that you cite him as someone you dont want to be like.

I do feel sorry for him, though. Like me, he grew up being bullied by rednecks. However, his music pursuits were more successful than mine even though his bands fell apart.

I was bullied by non-rednecks.

No matter how you slice it, it's being bullied.

You, as the one being bullied, have to learn to know that you don't DESERVE to be bullied.

Oh I see, I do the same. Where I care and empathize and sympathize with someone, but then I go around telling everyone else their business, in an effort to show, look what this person has to deal with, look how people treat such a person etc.
I wasn't aware it is actually quite hurtful for the other person, akin to betrayal, even if you haven't met them in real life. Now I know, as I saw the profile pic of a lady I admire (but who has similar issues as mine in some respects, and older, as with your online acquaintance), once, and it said 'Someone else shouldn't know my issues that I spoke to you about.' Then I realized, I do the same with her (except online, and not referring to her by name) and realized it is akin to betrayal.

For example, if I had a lawyer I wouldn't want him to go telling other people, even his family, this is what 'my client has to put up with' or talking about my deficencies/lack of progress in areas, to them. Same with friends, telling another friend 'oh did u know XYZ about blooie?' i would want to tell people myself, and not be discussed in a way that I would probably not like (about faults/deficiencies/failures especially) otherwise.

Similarly, unless the person explicitly says it in front of others in a conversation (or thread), it isn't my business to talk about their stuff (as I often, habitually, do and have done).
I tried to rein myself in recently, on the WP addicts thread, I went back and deleted all the stuff I'd written about the lady--and your phrase reminded me of that.

I was mentioning to let you know as I suspect with ASD like me, you may not be aware of this.

The main issue is that he called him out by name. If he didn't identify the person it would be perfectly fair to point to that situation as an example of life outcomes one would prefer to not have.

I was actually bullied by some of the “wiz kids”. Even they could be aggressive despite how they usually get bullied.

What really holds us down (not all ppl ETC i know) is the anxiety being a permanent setting in the brain.

Im doing well? Anxious scared n freaked out. Im not doing well? Anxious scared freaked out.

Being in parks n forests is an antidote thats all I know. But to make myself go there? Excessive confusion anxiety and fear of leaving and after returning from park the transition is difficult.


No matter what it is there and it started at age 9 increased at age 10 .. and never. Have i been able to get rid of it.

My diagnosis included General Anxiety. During the report the dr looked at me and said "You ruminate a lot" like he was looking for confirmation and I didn't say anything b/c I am just myself and how do I know how much one "should" think about something. It seems reasonable to me that anyone with two small children crossing a busy street and parking lot with over 200 cars would be on a high level of alert. Just b/c my husband is near completely insensitive and doesn't blink an eye --- well, clearly he's out of touch! If I couldn't see it, smell it, hear it, feel it to the degree I do, I wouldn't be worried either! I did not get a diagnosis of depression although I had lots of it previously and get touches of it still often - it's when I feel invalidated (e.g. gaslighted -inadvertently even -by myself even). That's when I doubt myself, my reality (I guess I didn't see it, or it's not important) and that's soul sucking.