Good luck!
I am glad you are clear on your situation. I am not, b/c as usual I relate to it my way. I still think there is something in here that applies to your situation, perhaps the assertive part, please disregard what does not apply and humor me as I explore the dynamics I am shifting for myself. My family "accommodated" me (put up with me), but it was not the correct type of accommodation. None of us knew what preventive "accommodation" looked like (only reactive "accommodation"). Kudos to us for doing our best, but without good tools it was fairly rough. I did not know their viewpoint and they did not know mine. Mutual. Even recently I was told how yet again I had upset someone in the family and shame on me. I had been hurt of course and rather than manifesting that otherwise, I asserted myself and explained my viewpoint. In my case, the accommodation would be mutual understanding - here I was wanting to help another and they -as usual- got the impression I was all out for myself. With mutual understanding, we would not have to "accommodate" my meltdowns (outburst) and shutdowns (depression), ways in which my upset inevitably manifests. Asserting myself is hard b/c I tend to be ON or OFF and it's hard to verbalize my intention directly (which feels presumptuous), so I like to relate (which appears selfish). If I am to see their "criticisms" as helpful then they can see my "selfish relating" as helpful. Mutual. And we can all make efforts to accommodate each other.
In any case, here's to use figuring out what works for us and ours.
04 Jan 2020, 8:04 am
